Tips to Helping Your Teen Understand the Difference Between Assertiveness and Aggression
Want to encourage non-aggressive behavior in your teen? Be a role model!
- Treat your teen with empathy and respect, and they will learn to treat others the same way.
- Don't allow aggressive behavior in your home. Children can learn patterns of violence at home and then repeat these patterns throughout their lives.
- Let your teen learn from watching you avoid aggressive behavior by listening to others, remaining calm, cooling off, and negotiating a solution.
Help limit aggressive behavior in your teen - Limit their exposure to violence on TV
- Use the parental controls available on most television sets. They limit the available channels by content, and require a code to be entered if the content is rated above the specified level.
- Watch television shows or movies with your teens when you can, so you know what they are watching and make sure they understand that some of the things they see on TV are not okay to do.
- Do not order cable shows with excessive violence or allow your teen to order shows.
Talk to your teen about aggressive behavior and how it can be hurtful
- Teach teens about the consequences of aggressive behavior.
- Let your teen interact with victims of aggression to better understand how aggression hurts people.
- Get your teen involved in assertiveness training or anger and impulse control classes.
Tips for teaching your teen to be assertive
- Teach them to be polite and non-abrasive, but also to ask for things directly and to answer questions directly.
- Teach them to recognize when they are being bullied and stand up for themselves.
- Show teens the benefits of standing up for themselves. They will feel better about themselves, and how they handled the situation, when they don't fight aggression with aggression.
Talk to your teen about confronting aggressive behavior constructively
- Tell them to get help from your or another adult they trust when they are being abused by another teen or adult.
- Teach them not to give into the demands of bullies. Giving in day after day will only continue to make them a victim.
- Let you teen know that it is okay ignore name calling or other aggressive acts. Aggression doesn't always have to be met with aggression.
Help your teen address aggressive situations through role play
- Take turns being the bully. Allow him to see the situation from both sides.
- Guide your teen toward thinking of alternative solutions to the problem.
- Make him understand the need to be calm and handle the situation assertively rather than aggressively.
Help your teen be more assertive - Encourage and reward your teen's positive behavior
- Compliment your teen whenever they handle a situation assertively.
- Help your teen learn from their experiences, and try to think up better ways to negotiate a similar scenario.
Want your teen be less aggressive? Teach them to build mental and physical strength
- Muscle relaxation exercises and meditation will help in keeping body and mind under control. Teens are less likely to be aggressive when they can stay calm.
- Encourage your teen to participate in after school activities like sports. This can help channel excess energy and aggression in a positive way.
- Help teen pursue their interests and build their self-esteem.
Back to Articles
