What do ODD, ADD, and LD stand for?
Is your child using alcohol or drugs?
When you talk to your teens do you discuss or lecture?
2. When you
discover your teen is lying do you try to trick the teen or do
you confront him or her directly and deal with the issue immediately?
Trick him or her
Confront the issue immediately
3. When your
teen is depressed do you nag him or her to "buck up" or do you
try to find out what is going on?
Tell him or her to buck up
Persuade them to talk about it
4. When your
teen is angry and hostile, do you escalate the drama or do you
work to calm the situation and deal with it when your teen is
more under control?
I push it and it escalates
I let the situation diffuse and deal with it when he or she is
5. When your
teen doesn't do well on a test do you berate him/her or do you
try to work with him/her to find out what happened and improve
future test scores?
I berate him/her--it's his/her fault
I accept the grade, then work out strategies to improve future
6. Do you
push your teen to excel in everything he/she does or do you set
realistic expectations and focus on just a few valuable areas.
I think he/she should do well in everything
I accept that he/she might not be tops at everything he/she does
7. When your
teen neglects to do something he/she promised, do you rant and
tell him/her what a disappointment he/she is, or do you follow
through on a pre-set consequence and let them know what you expect
in the future.
I rant and insult him/her for failure
I follow-through on pre-set consequences and re-establish expectations
8. Have you
openly and thoroughly discussed with your teen what behavior is
unacceptable and set consequences up front, or do you wait until
a problem arises and then let them know how you feel about an
issue (this could be drinking, piercings, tattoos, clothing choices,
I set rules and consequences up front in a clear, concise way
I assume they know what I expect and then arbitrarily set consequences
when they do something I don't like
9. If your
child came home drunk, would you lecture them as they sway and
try to focus on you, or would you wait until morning to discuss
I take them to task right then and there, no matter how severe
the drunken stupor
I know it's better to wait until their brain is clear in the morning,
then I deal with it
10. If you
found something in your child's belongings that upset you, would
you put it back and worry they might think you invaded their privacy
or let them know you found it and deal with the problem?
I let it go, figuring it's a one-time issue or that I'll just
keep a closer eye
I tell them what I found and let them know the consequences in
A score of
80-100% means you are doing well communicating with your teen
when there are conflicts. A score of 70-80% means you might need
to work on some of your strategies when dealing with your adolescent.
A score of 60% or less means you need to rethink your style of
dealing with your child in order to best influence positive behavior
and reduce hostility in the home.