Tips on Effective Communication with Teens
Your Little Professor
Resources and academic programs for children with Asperger's Syndrome
Talisman Camps
Talisman summer programs offer camps for children ages 6 to 17 and young adults 18-21 with LD, ADD and ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, and high functioning autism. Talisman has been offering such experiences since 1980 and is ACA accredited.
Camp Huntington
Locate within the Catskills in New York, Camp Huntington is a co-ed, residential, seven-week camp program for children and young adults with Learning and Developmental Disabilities, Attention Deficit and Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorders (ADD / ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorders, Asperger's Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disabilities (PDD), and other special needs
In a survey on this website, a majority believe teenagers face more challenges than previous generations. Perhaps one of the biggest ones they face is a general breakdown in manners and courtesy.
ABC News reported recently that eight out of every ten Americans believes that lack of respect and courtesy is a serious national problem, and six in ten said the problem is getting worse. Steve Farkas, co-author of this study, said, "We're not talking about table manners, but about treating people in a decent way."
This past year there have been more than a dozen new books published about the prevalence of a "me first" attitude. Yale professor Stephen Carter writes in his book Civility, "We have come to confuse rudeness with self-expression and acting on our 'rights.'"
Judith Martin, the New York Post etiquette columnist known as "Miss Manners," believes that the breakdown of courtesy in our country has reached dangerous levels. She says that while road rage is a very human response to another person's rudeness, it is an example of bad etiquette leading to murders. Ms. Martin writes, "From athletes who shout obscenities on national television to surgeons who blast their favorite music while operating, from gang members who kill those who've "dissed" them to mourners who treat funerals casually, we trample over the rights of others in a savage pursuit of individual agendas. We have cashed in etiquette for a generous helping of self-importance, and the exchange is crippling our ability to function as a civil society."
Most experts believe etiquette declined during the cultural revolution of the "Do Your Own Thing" 1960s. Acting in a formal and polite way, being tactful to spare another's feelings, and dressing up for work and social occasions became regarded as dishonest and hypocritical. Psychologists told parents to promote individual expression, self-esteem, and freedom.
In many ways, things have gotten so bad they are taking a turn for the better. As Peter Post, author of The Etiquette Advantage in Business, said, "We're not sure if rudeness is on the rise, but people are now saying they won't take it anymore."
This year the American Bar Association placed volunteer lawyers in schools in 21 cities to promote "peer mediation." Dr. P.M. Forni and others founded the Johns Hopkins Civility Project to assess and educate people about the importance of civility, manners and politeness. Stanford University launched a forgiveness project, where research shows that forgiveness can lead to decreased anger, depression, anxiety, and stress as well as enhanced well being and peace of mind.
Businesses are hiring experts to teach employees better behavior, not only toward one another but toward customers. One such expert, ETICON, has research that shows 58% of people will take their business elsewhere if they encounter rudeness. In other words, taking time for manners increases profits.
The state of Louisiana will start teaching etiquette in public schools in 2006, and other states are expected to follow.
Many parents believe if their teens are too mannerly and nice, other people will take advantage of them. But the new thinking is that good manners will actually help them get ahead. "Emotional intelligence" or the ability to put yourself in another person's place is being studied as a measure for success every bit as important as academic intelligence. What parents need to do is teach teens to control their reactions to rudeness as a matter of survival: especially when driving or in public places with strangers. But teens should also learn to treat friends, family and co-workers with kindness, decency and forgiveness. As Goethe said, "Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together." Kindness may just be coming back in style.