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Talisman Camps
Talisman summer programs offer camps for children ages 6 to 17 and young adults 18-21 with LD, ADD and ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, and high functioning autism. Talisman has been offering such experiences since 1980 and is ACA accredited.
Our children depend on us for all kinds of things when they're young. More than the basic necessities of food, shelter, and clothing, kids need to be nurtured, supported, and educated during the formative years. But young people also need to learn healthy independence from their parents, particularly as they progress into adolescence.
When parents send their children away to summer camp or boarding school, they are often filled with conflicting emotions. On one hand, they know they're doing the best thing for their child, but on the other, they are filled with guilt and doubt when the homesickness sets in. All of these feelings are both natural and valid, says Aaron McGinley, summer camp program manager at Talisman, a North Carolina program offering semester-length programs and summer camps for children ages 8 to 21 with learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, and high-functioning autism.
"It's healthy for parents to have some anxiety when their child is leaving home, whether for a few weeks or a few months," says McGinley. "But a brief period of separation can also be healthy for both parents and child, and can help foster self-confidence and determination in a child."
How Much Contact Can I Expect?
Programs like Talisman receive flustered, teary-eyed phone calls from parents wondering how their child is doing on a regular basis. In addition to listening attentively to parents' concerns and walking them through their reasons for choosing the program, Talisman summer camps for children with ADD and ADHD and Southeast Journeys academic program for children with Asperger's Syndrome both work to smooth the transition by posting photographs, giving phone call updates, and communicating regularly with parents by phone or email.
When looking for a camp or boarding school, McGinley recommends that parents carefully evaluate each program's contact policy. Quality programs facilitate some form of family involvement, either through writing letters or staff phone calls with parents, he says. If a program doesn't allow any communication or is unclear about the rules, it should be a red flag to parents.
"Parents should seek out programs that offer regular updates from someone involved in their child's care, and that provide someone to turn to if they have concerns," counsels McGinley. "The more educated parents are, the more they can prepare their child for the program and work as a team with program staff to create the optimal camp or school experience for their child."
At Talisman camps, children can write letters home during the two-week program, and parents are given weekly updates from staff members who work closely with their child. In order to engage each child in the camp experience and give him ample social skills practice, the program generally approves phone calls only in limited situations, such as a birthday or family emergency. However, parents remain involved in every aspect of their child's experience through photographs, letters, and contact with staff.
At the Southeast Journeys academic semester program, parents receive photographs and weekly updates from staff members and teachers who work with their child. Because it is a longer term, four-month program, students are also offered supervised email time to write friends and family four times a week, and are allowed to make weekly phone calls home.
Photographs are excellent snapshots of camp or school life that help parents connect with what their child is experiencing. But McGinley advises parents to remember that the photos are just one glimpse into their child's daily life, and to consider the pictures in combination with communications from staff, letters home, and the progress their child is making.
"Pictures tell only part of the story," he warns. "Because of the structure of our programs and because we prioritize safety over all else, it becomes impossible to update the photo gallery every few hours or get action shots of some of the most exciting activities. Although we try to ensure that each child gets new photos posted regularly, during some weeks one group might be photographed more than another. We advise parents to avoid rushing to judgment based on one photograph, and to reach out to us if they need more information about their child."
Easing the Ache of Homesickness
The experts at Talisman and Southeast Journeys have found that children are less likely to be homesick when they live in a structured environment filled with fun activities and social support. Once young people start to make friends and feel accomplished in their daily lives, they don't feel as dependent on the family system. With an endless array of activities like kayaking, white-water rafting expeditions, a sailing program, and experiential learning trips to the Appalachian Mountains and Washington, D.C., and a campus bustling with young people with similar interests and needs, it generally takes only a few days for students to adjust to their new surroundings.
The Talisman programs also send letters to the parents and the child to explain what the camp or school experience will be like, complete with sample schedules and a menu of extracurricular activities. The staff offers advice to parents about getting kids excited about and invested in the program and preparing them emotionally for the experience.
According to McGinley, parents should expect to receive a few homesick letters, particularly at the start of any away-from-home program.
"It's a fact of human nature that kids are more likely to sit down and write a letter when they are missing home, when things haven't gone their way, or when they're struggling to initiate friendships," states McGinley. "After the water balloon fight or some other fun activity, they're probably running off with their friends and playing games rather than posting a letter to mom and dad."
McGinley advises that parents prepare to respond to homesick letters before they arrive in the mailbox. To help their child with the transition, he recommends that parents acknowledge that it's difficult to be away from home, offer encouragement, ask about their child's activities and accomplishments, and focus on the positives.
"The letters and emails back and forth are an excellent way for parents to express their expectations, offer support, and provide consistency," says McGinley. "Children lose confidence if their parents express doubts or anxieties. But when parents are positive and encouraging about their child's experience, and reinforce the importance of the skills their child is learning, the child really commits to push through the challenges and gets the most out of the program."
Lasting Rewards
A child's first camp or school experience away from home can be emotional for both parents and child. While it can be difficult for parents to strike a balance between nurturing their child and encouraging independence during an away-from-home experience, there are important lessons that spring from a brief period of separation. After a couple days, children adjust to, and even thrive in their new surroundings, and parents can rest easy knowing their child is in good hands.
"We remind parents of the importance of what they're doing for their child by sending them to our programs," says McGinley. "We're here to offer practical advice, to give feedback and support, and to keep parents connected with their child. Even though it takes some adjusting, our 25 years of experience shows that children thrive after the initial homesickness wears off and make tremendous progress. By the end of the program, everyone has grown through the experience."