Teen Dating: Is My Teenager Old Enough?
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Jason and Karen met at a beer party at his fraternity house. The party was noisy and rowdy: people were drenching each other with a beer hose. As they both got wetter and drunker, they began kissing and light petting. Jason suggested they go up to his room where Karen could change into some dry clothes. Upstairs they continued to kiss and pet, although she repeatedly said she did not want to "go all the way." Nevertheless, the evening ended with the couple falling asleep after sexual intercourse. 
The next day she felt ashamed of herself, but believed the incident was her fault because she was drunk. She told no one. The next day Jason's frat brothers congratulated him for "scoring" with a cute girl.
This is a classic scenario of "date rape." In most cases:
Date rape is actually a very common occurrence on campus. Many studies done at college campuses indicate that about one in four girls experience date rape during their college years.
Social scientists have determined that because alcohol impairs judgment and higher brain functioning, people who are drinking do not have the ability to interpret sexual signals. A woman loses the ability to evaluate risks. She is more likely to accept a ride from a stranger, go into an acquaintance's bedroom, and otherwise not protect herself. Sexual signaling is complex and difficult to interpret. Many women are afraid to hurt a man's feelings with a direct refusal - the man interprets this as a "go-ahead" signal.
Social scientists have tried to isolate factors that may make one woman more susceptible to date rape than others, but have not found many. Any woman can be date raped. There are a few indicators that women who experience it tend to be sexually experienced and suffer from low self-esteem. Also in most cases both parties are drinking.
Likewise, there are no true factors involving male rapists. Some indicators are:As for male rapists, they tend to be more involved in all-male culture such as fraternities and athletics (about 10% of date rapes occur in frat houses; although athletes are only 3% on campus, they account for 19% of sexual assaults. Males who date rape also tend to believe that women belong in traditional roles, that many women need a little "push" to have sex, women who ask men on dates want sex, etc.
Teenage and college-aged males need to know that rape is a serious felony. If convicted, a rapist can face fifteen years to life in prison. Colleges often have stricter rules about date rape than state and federal laws and may expel a male merely accused of rape. For example, in a 1996 case involving two students at Brown University, a drunk female student was the one who initiated sexual intercourse. Later the male student told her what happened after she did not remember the incident. She reported him to the university. He was found guilty of sexual misconduct and penalized with a six-month suspension (later reduced to probation).
Police all over the world are receiving more reports of drugs involved in date rape. These drugs are: GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid), Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) which is often referred to as "roofies", and Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride) . They render the woman unconscious and are put into the woman's drinks. Many times these drugs are just one of several "served" at the party.
Your daughter needs to know that she is not responsible or in any way guilty for any unwanted sexual encounter, and that she has the right to say no at any time. She should be encouraged to report the incident to the proper authorities. She may need to go into counseling, if necessary.
Tell her to drink only from sealed containers that she opens herself: not from punch bowls or glasses. She should understand how to use her environment to protect herself: stay in a group, have her own transportation, stay out of isolated places, tell a friend how long she intends to be if she is alone with a male. She should know it's okay to use her voice to scream: better embarrassed than raped. Remember that if she is drinking, it is harder to read the other person's signals.
Your son needs to know that he cannot take advantage of any woman who has had too much to drink or is otherwise impaired. If he has been drinking, he will impair his own judgment. Men too have the right to refuse sexual advances, even though he may feel peer pressure from his friends.