When Teen Romance Turns Violent
4-ADHD offers resources and information to help parents of children with ADHD and ADD.
It is one thing to believe that consistency is one of the most important things a parent can offer their children; it's another to apply those principles when you are never sure which teenage personality you'll be dealing with on any given day.
Is it the happy-go-lucky kid who says please and thank you and gives you a kiss as she skips out the door? Or is it the sullen, morose teen who barely makes the effort to grunt as she drags herself out of the car? Perhaps it's the screaming meemie who hates you, her teachers, the way her hair looks, and in fact, just about everything. Maybe you're confronted by a begging, whining, cajoling kid who will do anything, just anything, if you'll only let her participate in that activity you said no to yesterday, and the day before. 
It is a test of patience and a test of wills. But mostly it's a test of parental steadfastness and it's a battle you have to fight over and over again. What teens need is to know that they have boundaries and that, regardless of their tactics, you are going to stick to your guns in enforcing them.
This is not to say you should never say yes to something that you previously said no to. If your youngster comes up with a reasoned, cogent argument about why she should be allowed to dye her hair pink or stay out late one night, listen to her and adjust the boundaries if it makes sense.
But make those adjustments when you and your teen are clear-headed. Don't just give in because you're tired that day or because he has just about driven you crazy and you don't think you can take it anymore. And try not to get pulled into a tug-of-war, either. Just state the instruction calmly and clearly and let him be the one to stomp off and slam the bedroom door. Take that time to breathe deeply, gather your wits, and prepare for the next onslaught.
Try to remember that this is a tough time for teenagers. It's a time of searching for identity, for trying on new personas, and for practicing their flights out of the nest. By being consistent in your love for them as well as in your adherence to the rules and limitations you have put in place, you give them a sense of stability. You are their rock of Gibraltar. Stand fast and be strong.