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It's incredible how much we communicate and teach our sons and daughters about how we feel about our own bodies-without vocalizing a word. They have their eyes and ears upon us more than we know and it effects how they see their own changing bodies. Think about it: Do you complain about getting older, more wrinkled and perhaps heavier, within their earshot? Without meaning to, we tell them that we would love to become younger, again, if only in looks.
As boys and girls begin to notice changes in their own bodies, they might react in a similar fashion; maybe they are uncomfortable with the size of their feet or thinking that they are too tall, they may slouch over, in embarrassment. My own daughter, who has always been model beautiful, has a problem with the way in which the media portrays women. She sees the ads that (almost hypothetically), sell a product, such as bags or shoes, when really they appear to be seducing the onlooker with skimpy clothing and a seductive smile. At thirteen years old, Hayley views these ads as condescending toward women. Unfortunately, these ads are specifically geared toward teenagers.
Ads such as those from Dior are especially mind-boggling. Their models are wearing practically nothing. What are they really selling?
It's extremely difficult for teens when their own bodies are changing and they don't resemble the models that our society continually bombards them with. This makes it especially important for us to communicate with our teens about how unrealistic these images are. In a school report on today's marketing, Hayley contends that if women looked like Barbie, they would be falling flat on their face! Barbie's measurements don't add up, or let's say tip the scale too high in the breast category, making her imbalanced. How are our children going to feel good about their own bodies, when our role models don't resemble reality or we set impossible goals for them?
There are positive role models and ways in which we can inspire our children about who they are and who they are becoming. Books such as, Our Bodies, Our Selves, let our preteens and teens know that although the media advertises godliness, the teens are perfect just as they are. Recently, Hayley finished reading The Me Nobody Knew, a book by a young woman who had starved herself, when younger, and lived to tell the tale. Hayley was impressed by this young author's admittance-and courage to kick the unhealthy habit. She was also impressed that the author had grown to realize that the image which society hangs over our heads does not really have anything to do with us on an individual basis. We have choices, we can choose to love ourselves, including our bodies.
Both girls and boys are being besieged with skinny models who are advertising teen lines of clothing and who most probably have their own food issues. Our being positive as parents, in terms of their growth and changes and letting them know that we are proud of our own bodies, will ease our children's discomfort so that they may follow suit. Our own habits send them messages so that they can begin to set a pattern for a lifetime of beliefs.