News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

It's hardly a secret that today's teens and young adults are quite tech-savvy. But according to a Feb. 10 article by Sharon Jayson of USA Today, the generation that follows the "Millenials" will be taking personalized technology (and related mindsets) to unprecedented levels:

[Psychologist Larry Rosen] says the tech-dominated life experience of those born since the early 1990s is so different from the Millennials he wrote about in his 2007 book, Me, MySpace and I: Parenting the Net Generation, that they warrant the distinction of a new generation, which he has dubbed the "iGeneration."

"The technology is the easiest way to see it, but it's also a mind-set, and the mind-set goes with the little 'i,' which I'm taking to stand for 'individualized,' " Rosen says. "Everything is customized and individualized to 'me.' My music choices are customizable to 'me.' What I watch on TV any instant is customizable to 'me.' " ...

They have high expectations that whatever they want or can use "will be able to be tailored to their own needs and wishes and desires, because everything is."

Rosen says portability is key. They are inseparable from their wireless devices, which allow them to text as well as talk, so they can be constantly connected  even in class, where cellphones are supposedly banned.

Labels: technology

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For all the controversial press that's generated about today's tech-obsessed teens, researchers have found that technology may actually be strengthening relationships between parents and their children. Online gaming, iPods, and even interactive television shows like "American Idol" may be bridging the generation gap.

Boston Globe columnist Joanna Weiss addressed this issue in her Nov. 28 column:

[According to a Nickelodeon survey] 82 percent of families watch TV together every week and 41 percent listen to music together. Were nearing the official end of "turn that racket down."

Researchers say the new order stems partly from the economic crisis, which has turned more families into homebodies, and partly from increased comfort with technology. ...

And gadgets have a way of bringing people together, sometimes in deliciously nonlinear ways. Nickelodeons research vice president, Jane Gould, tells of one father who plays an online video game with his son: he logs on during lunch hour to try to beat his sons score from the night before. Then when his son gets home from school, he tries to beat his fathers score from lunchtime.

Labels: technology, communication, generations

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Young people today have access to more media and information than any previous generation. But in the age of cell phones and instant messaging, kids are also more separated from the adult world.

Maturity follows a formula," [Mark Bauerlein] wrote in the Knoxville News Sentinel. "The more kids contact one another, the less they heed the tutelage of adults. When peer consciousness grows too fixed and firm, the teachers voice counts for nothing outside the classroom. When youth identity envelopes them, parent talk at the dinner table only distracts them.

The Kaiser Foundation estimates that 68 percent of kids have televisions in their rooms. It also estimates that the total amount of time kids spend with media (in its various forms), is nearly equivalent to having a full-time job. Texting, downloading and blogging are all great pastimes, but kids also need quality time with the adults who can help guide and instruct them.

Children whose video gaming and web surfing have progressed to the point of obsession may benefit from the effective professional intervention that is available at a residential treatment program for computer-addicted teens.

Labels: technology, internet, text messaging, cell phones

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In both the United States and Canada, parents, teachers and school administrators have expressed concerns about the prevalence of cell phones in classrooms. Many school administrators have heard from upset parents whose kids are being distracted at best, and bullied at worst, via text messages -- and many teachers worry about the ability of cell phones to augment efforts to cheat on exams and other in-class projects.

In an article in the British Columbia publication Maple Ridge News writer and educator Graham Hookey argues that cell phone rules at school won't help unless they're also enforced at home:

Even while an attempt is made to limit communication during classes, there are few limits outside of class. Studies are showing that many teens are suffering from sleep deprivation, anxiety and in some cases depression caused by incessant computer and cell phone activity. ...

I realize I come across as some kind of Luddite when I say things like this, but whenever a parent comes to me with a sheaf of paper full of poor behaviour, I often ask if they have considered taking away their childs phone or computer. The response is almost universally the same, "Why would we punish our child for things others are doing to them?"

"Educators do not have a lot of tools, or even much authority to govern the activity of students outside of the school day," Hookey wrote. "The best we can do is educate students in appropriate behaviour and educate parents to monitor communication behavior and, if necessary, take away the options at home."

Labels: technology, computers, school, cell phones

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"Sexting" is the word used to describe the sending or receiving of sexually explicit messages or pictures via cell phone. The practice is increasing in popularity among teenagers, which has many parents worried about their kids' safety and reputation.

According to an article on the website of Albequerque's KAOT News Channel 7, parents may be able to use a new technological tool to monitor their children's cell phone use:

New software is being marketed to parents, giving them a controversial new tool. Its called My Mobile Watchdog. For $10 a month, parents can receive a copy of every text, picture, and video message their child sends and receives.

My Mobile Watchdog claims it is not spyware, as it sends an alert to the cell phone user, informing her that a copies of her messages will be shared with a third party. Still, some parents -- concerned about invading their children's privacy -- prefer to build a trusting relationship that encourages their kids to be honest about who and what they're texting.

Labels: technology, text messaging, cell phones, sexting

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A new study measured the effect of caffeinated drinks and electronic multi-tasking on sleep patterns in teenagers.

Dr. Christiana Calamaro and her colleagues at Drexel College of Nursingstudied 100 middle and high school students ages 12 to 18, asking them about their intake of caffeinated drinks, use of technology, and the numbers of hours they sleep at night.

• The researchers found that teenagers who used various electronic media late into the night and drank a variety of caffeinated beverages were more likely to fall asleep at school.
• Caffeine consumption was 76 percent higher among those who fell asleep at school.
• Teenagers who got the recommended eight to 10 hours of sleep a night tended to spend fewer hours on any one of nine electronic activities such as watching television, watching DVDs and using the Internet.

The study appeared in the journal Pediatrics.

Labels: technology, sleep_deprivation, caffeine

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Most teenagers have cell phones. And most of those teenagers using texting as a primary means of communication. This can be a helpful tool for communicating between friends, and also between teens and their parents.

But as the Appleton Post-Crescent recently reported, if texting and other forms of technology-enhanced communication are employed excessively, they can cause problems:

Vicki Davis, of the Cool Cat Teacher blog, says a survey of her son and son's friends reveals that many of their friends sleep with their cell phone under their pillows set on vibrate. That way, they can continue to text throughout the night.

In a report at the SLEEP2008 conference, Dr. Gaby Badre said, "Teenagers who excessively use their cell phone are more prone to disrupted sleep, restlessness, stress and fatigue."

This is why parents needs to step in and set boundaries, not only for cell phone usage, but for computers, video games, and television. Any one of these technologies can consume a teenager's time, leading unhealthy habits and a disconnect between family and friends.

Also, though excessive technology use does not necessarily indicate a mental health problem, many mental health experts have expressed concern about the risk of Internet addiction among tech-obsessed teens and adults.

Labels: parenting tips, technology

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In this age of technology, parents are being given more tools to keep track of their teenagers' activities. Today, parents can monitor everything from driving habits to deleted text messages. You can find out what websites your child frequents, and read his email.

"This is where the area gets a little grayer... Where, exactly do we draw the line? Isn't reading a teen's e-mails and texts as much a violation of privacy as opening a personal letter or eavesdropping on a phone call? Is a paper diary with a lock and key the only sacred private space these days?"

These are tough questions that require answers. In the quest to keep our kids safe, are we going too far? Ultimately, each family has to find the right balance between security and freedom; between trust and protection. Source: The Daily Star (New York)

Labels: safety, technology, privacy

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Experts on adolescent psychology are concerned about high-profile cases of teenagers murdering their parents or guardians after the adults took away the teens' cellphones or video games.

• After her grandmother confiscated her cellphone, 14-year-old Jermea Simmons set fire to her family's home in Buffalo, NY, as 10 family members slept inside. Jermea's grandfather died in the fire; the others escaped.
• In Adrian, Mich., 17-eyar-old Marshall Sosby shot his parents in after an argument about the amount of minutes he had run up on a cellphone while talking to an out-of-state girlfriend.
• Daniel Petric, age 17, killed his mother and shot his father in the face when they took away his Halo 3 video game. His father is a pastor in Wellington, OH.

Some experts on teenagers and their use of media explain this kind of violence in terms of this generation's tendency to build their lives around technology. When their technology goes away, they feel as if their lives have been taken away too.

Parry Aftab, an Internet lawyer and expert on technology, said many children are sleeping with their cellphones.

"It's actually a physical addiction," she said. "They have an adrenaline hit when they get a new text message. When this is taken away, some kids will react violently."

Labels: violence, technology, aggression

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Solomon Jones has the answer for parents who feel they've tried every trick and disciplinary measure in the book. When all else fails: embarrass your kids.

"Having learned through experience that no teen wants her friends to think her parents are just plain crazy, I've decided to treat Adrianne to a PowerPoint presentation. It will depict all the insane things I'll do in front of her friends if she ever crosses me."

Mr. Jones is being a bit facetious, of course. But there is some truth to the fact that teens are easily embarrassed by their parents - a fact that can be used to parents' advantage. Source: Philadelphia Daily News

Labels: parenting_tips, technology, discipline

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It's not a new trend; acronyms like SOS and ASAP have been used for decades. But the latest generation of tweens (pre-teens) has their own set of abbreviations that leaves many adults scratching their heads.

"It has evolved into a spoken language among young teens and middle school students, who use acronyms to speak to their friends in shorthand, save a little time or tell off-color jokes in front of confused parents..."

This new age of acronyms was born out of instant and text messaging, using shortcuts like LOL ("laugh out loud") and IDK ("I don't know") that were initially only written. Though parents may feel confused and a little frustrated, most linguists offer a word of encouragement: It's only a trend, and it won't last long. Source: The Emerald Coast (Florida)

Not up on the latest text lingo? Learn how to "Text Your Teen 4 Better Communication".

Labels: technology, communication, cell_phones

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It's a strange phrase: "junk sleep". Much like the phrase "junk food" refers to foods that have little or no nutritional value, "junk sleep" refers to sleep patterns that offer little or no actual rest. These patterns are becoming increasingly common among teenagers who never fully unplug from their technology-laden worlds.

"In a 2006 poll by the National Sleep Foundation, 97 percent of teens said they have at least one electronic item, such as a TV, computer, phone or music device in their rooms. On average, sixth-graders reported having more than two gadgets in their room, while high-school seniors said they had four. In the survey, teens with four or more devices in their bedrooms were more likely to get insufficient sleep."

When Chris and Patti Calawerts realized that technology was interfering with their daughter Stephanie's sleep, they took action. The cell phone went off at 9p.m. and both the TV and computer were removed from her room. Though she protested at first, she now says she's glad to no longer feel "dependent on technology." Read more at GreenBayPressGazette.com.

Read more on how Technology Takes its Toll on Teen Sleep.

Labels: technology, teen_culture, sleep_deprivation

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The average college student connects to a parent via cellphone or internet 13 times a week, and 17 times a week after they leave college, according to Professor Barbara Hofer. Almost one in five email their college papers for their parent's approval before they turn them in for a grade.

Dr. Hofer, a professor at Middlebury College and the author of a new book, The iConnected Parent, believes that unlimited phone minutes plans and the constant availability of the Internet changed the way parents relate to their children in late adolescence.

"So much has changed just a few years ago," she said. "When you think about what happened when kids went away to college - they called home maybe once a week. What I started observing was that kids were walking out of class, flipping up their cell phones and rather than calling their friends, they were calling Mom and Dad to say, 'I got a C on the calculus test' or 'Wait until you hear what happened with my roommate last night."

Her research indicated that those students who talk to their parents the most are also the least autonomous and least likely to make decisions on their own.

"'Do I boil the water before I put the spaghetti in? How do I separate laundry?' -- whatever it might be, the parents are live and available for this kind of consultation," she said. "It's not just about letting go, which is what parents have been told to do. It's about letting go while staying connected and how to stay connected in healthy ways."

Her research indicates that the young adults who are more independent of their parents have higher grades, procrastinate less, enjoy college life more, and have better relationships with their parents.

Labels: technology, parental influence, communication

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An abundance of research shows that most teenagers do not get enough sleep, and that teen sleep deprivation is linked to lower grades, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. However, many parents tell researchers that they have trouble getting their teenagers to go to bed, according to an article in the Washington Post.

Most parents do not know what time their teenagers go to bed, according to Dr. Judith Owens, a researcher at Brown University Alpert Medical School, and most believe their teenagers go to bed much earlier than they actually do.

"There is a real disconnect," Dr. Owens said.

Teachers also told the Post that more students are falling asleep in class more often.

"It's not just the tired thing, but they are zoning out in class," said James Fernandez, principal of Albert Einstein High School near Washington DC. "It's a big problem. If you get a substitute in the classroom, they all go to sleep -- it's looky here, a 40-minute nap."

Nature and technology are the causes of teens' sleep deprivation. Most teens cannot fall asleep at early bedtimes, and that probably has an evolutionary basis. Teens like to stay connected with their friends into the wee hours, either via cell phone or computer. A Pew Institute survey found that 80% sleep with their cell phone nearby, and many prefer to wake up to receive new text messages.
 

Labels: suicide, technology, depressoin, sleep_deprivation

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