News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

There seems to be an unspoken, and unfounded, belief among parents that parenting is a "love at first sight" experience that continues throughout your life. But many parents admit that raising children is more difficult than they ever imagined -- and they worry about how far they've fallen short of their expectations of perfection.

According to a letter that was written to syndicated advice columnist Carolyn Hax, these worries are misplaced:

I'm over 40 and don't have children - but friends do. I can't tell you how many of them have cried to me about how guilty they felt because they weren't natural parents when everyone else was - and by that I mean they felt ashamed about everything from not breast-feeding to having drugs during delivery to having a mix of feelings instead of pure joy about their kids.

Its ridiculous that we've created this sense of shame around not being the 'perfect parent', which, by the way, I just dont think exists. And the more people are afraid to talk about it, the more other people don't know that anyone else feels the way they do."

By perpetuating the idea of the "perfect parent," we perpetuate feelings of shame in parents who are doing wonderful jobs raising their kids. Maybe it's time we were all willing to acknowledge the tough periods in which we don't always get along with (or, let's be honest, sometimes even like) our kids.

By doing this, we can begin to support, rather than isolate, each other.

Labels: parenting, support, worries

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As a parent, you do your best to raise your kids well, and instill in them the ability to make good, healthy choices. As her own son heads off to high school, where the rules differ greatly from those of elementary and middle school, writer Yvonne Zick wonders if she's done enough.

"Suddenly, I no longer feel like the expert. Instead I am the mother who questions if I have done enough to give my son the tools he needs to not only survive his teenage years, but to thrive in thoughtful choices, make important mistakes and begin the exhilarating process of designing his own life."

While she and her husband have done their best to set boundaries, and good examples, they know mistakes will happen. But they're trusting that the "guardrails" they've established will help their son navigate these tumultuous years. Source: Vashon (WA) Beachcomber

Labels: support, decisions

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The Brighton (New York) Parent Resource is hosting a one-day "Parents University" to help moms and dads learn about important issues facing their children today.

"Participants will be able to pick two workshops from a list of several. The workshops include 'Building Better Organizers,' 'Cyberbullying,' and 'The Internet: Protecting Kids and Teens Online,' among others."

The workshop will be held Saturday, Oct. 25, from 8:30 to 11:45 a.m. at the District Administration Building in Brighton. Source: Democrat and Chronicle (Rochester, NY)

Labels: parenting_tips, support, issues

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A consulting, support and delivery services firm in the UK has launched a website for parents. The interactive, social networking and advice site was developed by Tribal Group in conjunction with Parentline Plus, which is also located in the UK.

"The tools are designed to help parents stay on the same wavelength as their teenager... Many of these features are designed to be interactive so that parents can post their own experiences, advice and questions to support each other in a forum-style environment with private messaging, articles, blogs and message boards."

The website is the second of a multi-faceted support program called "Parent-Know-How." The program also includes text messaging, instant messaging and improved internet services. Source: M2 PressWIRE

Labels: parenting_tips, support, advice

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The transition from high school to college can be hard. As your teen prepares to make this shift, there are some things you can do to help.

"Be excited for them. If you are struggling to let them go, then it is OK to tell them that, but do not put pressure on them to worry about you. They are likely feeling overwhelmed by it all or are so excited that they don't want to be bothered by your struggle."

Take time to listen. Give your teenager the chance to express himself, to talk about his fears, concerns, and hopes about this new phase of his life. Don't smother your teen, but be available to spend time with him and reassure him that you're there for him. Source: Clarion Ledger

Learn more about college prep boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: college, support, transitions

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A study of British teenagers found that this generation is becoming more independent of their parents and more likely to be influenced by their peers, turning to members of their own age group for guidance and emotional support. This puts the youth at higher risk for drinking, smoking, and using drugs.

Researchers from the World Health Organization who surveyed 200,000 children at ages 11, 13, and 15 years old in 41 countries found that British teens ranked third for alcohol consumption. Forty percent of British 15-year-olds reported drinking at least once a week. The more time they spent with friends in the evening, the more likely the teens were to abuse alcohol and other substances.

"There is something very interesting going on about where young people are getting their support," said Candace Currie, lead author and director of the Children's and Adolescent Health Research Unit at the University of Edinburgh. "It's shifting from the home and parents to their school and peers."

Labels: support, independence, peers

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Parenting isn't easy for anyone - not the married couple, the single parent, or the blended family. Experts tell parents to watch for signs like mood swings, changes in social circles, a sudden drop in grades that indicate a teen may be headed down the wrong path. But parents have another, often unused advocate for their kids - each other.

"Parents need to stick together. Over the years, I've had people come to me with concerns about my girls. They tell me something they had seen or heard, and they share concerns about people they may have seen one of my girls with and wanted to make me aware of it. I appreciate when people share with me."

Parents can and should be allies, working together to guide their kids toward bright, healthy futures. Rather than judging, pointing fingers, or worse yet ignoring each other, parents can offer each other much needed support and encouragement, and be an extra set of eyes and hears. Source: Havelock News

A therapeutic boarding school can help teens and their families work through their issues and strengthen their relationships.

Labels: support, warning_signs

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Children who grow up in families where there is a lot of parental support from both a mother and a father and below-average marital conflict and depression experience puberty later than children without such advantages, according to a new study.

Researchers from the University of Arizona and University of Wisconsin/Madison studied the families of 227 children as they went from preschool through middle school. They found that stressors like marital conflict, lack of support from parents and negativity in the child/parent relationship increased the age of onset of puberty. Other factors were the age of the mother at puberty, socio-economic levels, and Body Mass Index. Leaner children tend to sexually mature later.

This study appears in the Journal of Child Development.

Labels: stress, support, puberty

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Survival guide handbooks have become very popular over the last few years. But Mark Patinkin, from the Providence Journal in Rhode Island, has noticed that we're still missing the most important survival handbook of all - How to Survive Teenagers. So he offers some good-humored tips of his own.

"Put Dominoes Pizza on speed-dial, and if you don't live within two blocks of a Subway, sell your house and move. Keep in mind that it means nothing if teenagers go out for a meatball sub at 4 p.m.; they will still want dinner at 6. I recommend buying frozen hot-pockets and chip bags large enough to feed livestock..."

He also suggests having cell phone numbers for your teen's friends (which he refers to as "the swarm") as it will be easier to track down your teen when you need him.

Surviving teen drug and alcohol abuse is no laughing matter. Learn how you can and your family can get through difficult times like these at DrugRehabTreatment.com.

Labels: parenting_tips, support, advice

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Some parents prefer a more affectionate, permissive style when relating to and disciplining their teens. Other parents tend to be stricter and show very little emotion. Each style has its good and bad points, and either is unhealthy if taken to the extreme.

"The bottom line of parenting is providing caring support on a regular basis. That means learning to see teens as whole persons rather than as 'a stage or age;' seeing them positively and believing in their capacity for good and seeking ways to enhance and develop it; engaging them or being actively involved with them regularly."

Both the overly permissive and the overly strict parenting style can push teens away, causing them to seek either the boundaries or affection they desire elsewhere. Keeping a healthy balance and offering consistent care and support make all the difference. Read more at News-Press.com.

Worried about adolescent substance abuse? Think you may be dealing with teen drug abuse or addiction? DrugRehabTreatment.com has the answers you're looking for and ways to help you talk to your teen about drugs.

Labels: parenting_styles, support, boundaries

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Jeff Herring is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with teens and their parents. Hes put together his "10 Universal Laws for Parents of Teens" as a way to offer parents some guidance and support.

"1. Law of Belonging: The greatest need of teenagers (after music and the phone) is a strong sense of belonging. They need to feel they are a part of something bigger than themselves. If they dont get it in a healthy place - with family, worthwhile friends, clubs, sports, youth groups, etc. - they will get it in an unhealthy place - with inappropriate friends, drugs, gangs, or cults."

Other laws include the "Law of Management", and the "Law of Modeling". Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Teen drug and alcohol abuse can be a scary time that affects an entire family. At Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com you can find information about the types of teen drug use and about teenage drug addiction. Teen-Help-Directory.com offers more information about teenage drug abuse and list teen drug rehabs.

Labels: parenting_tips, support, guidance

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Most parents (hopefully) have friends and family who can offer guidance and help during their children's trying teenage years. But for some, that support system isn't available, or is inadequate. Nancy Brown, PhD, has collected a handful of websites and blogs that give insight into the world of teenagers and also offer guidance regarding movies and other media.

"The term 'blog' come from 'Web log', and is a form of 'social media' (e.g. MySpace and Wikipedia). The word 'blog' can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog."

Websites include information on teen health, media and marketing, and entertainment. Read more at HealthLine.com.

Labels: internet, myspace, support

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Researchers with the Harvard School of Public Health and Simmons School of Social Work have provided additional evidence that strong family support systems increase the likelihood that teens will develop into productive and successful adults.

• The Harvard/Simmons study tracked 400 people. The study subjects were analyzed based upon behavior and perceptions of their current environment from 1977 to 2010.
• The research team members discovered that subject who feld appreciated by their families during their teen years showed fewer interpersonal problems and higher self-esteem by the age of 30.
• Robust family relationships help teens avoid negative triggers they may face throughout their adolescent years, analysts say. Experts have also noted that developing stronger relationships within families is a significant step in developing a healthy support structure through adulthood.

For children who have struggled to develop and maintain healthy relationships with family members or peers, enrolling in a therapeutic wilderness program or boarding school may provide them with the skills and strategies they need to overcome this obstacle to healthy development.
 

Labels: teens, parental influence, support

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