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News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

The By Parents For Parents Blog is regularly updated with the latest news and information on topics that relate to parenting teenagers. We'll post parenting advice and tips from trusted online news sources and expert parenting columns.

We invite you to add your comments. Please let us know if you would like some specific topics covered, want to share your experience as a parent dealing with teens, or just have general feedback on the By Parents For Parents Blog.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Helping Kids Process Trauma

Let's face it: We live in a world where bad things happen. If something traumatic happens to your family, or in your neighborhood, your kids will need to process their emotions - and they may need some help from you.

"Stick to routines. It is easiest for children to deal with stress when they feel comfortable and know what to expect. Minimize exposure to the media. Do not let children repeatedly view footage of traumatic events, and avoid letting them watch footage alone."

Take some extra time to reassure your child that she is safe, and talk about what happened in terms your child can understand. Because children process trauma at differing rates, be sure to give your child plenty of opportunities to ask questions and talk about how they're feeling. Source: WISinfo

Labels: stress, therapy, trauma

posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:24 PM 0 comments

Monday, June 09, 2008

High School Juniors Stress Out Over AP Classes and College Apps

American high school students are finding their junior year to be increasingly stressful, according to a new report in the May 24, 2008 edition of the Wall Street Journal.

"It is a marathon year of tests, stress and sleepless nights," reporter Jonathan Kaufman writes. Students feel pressure to participate in as many extracurricular activities as possible to enhance their college resumes. They are taking "advanced placement courses," which are on the college level and require passing a rigorous examination to receive college credit for them. They are visiting college campuses and filling out applications. They are taking after-school courses to prepare themselves for their College Board examinations.

One survey of 2,700 middle- and upper-income students in San Francisco found that juniors felt "often or always" stressed by schoolwork. About 75% had stress-related physical problems such as headaches, insomnia, and exhaustion. Over 25% used energy drinks and over-the-counter caffeine pills to keep going, and 9% admitted to using controlled substances like Ritalin and Adderall.

Parents, teachers, and counselors often try to persuade juniors to take it easy and find time to relax. The pressure does not necessarily come from adults, but from a teen's peer group.

Labels: pressures, schoolwork, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:15 AM 0 comments

Friday, May 30, 2008

Family Stress Affects Teens at School

Stress at home affects teens' lives at school, and stress at school carries over into their family lives, according to a new study from the University of California, Los Angeles.

Dr. Lisa Flook and her colleagues studied 503 teenagers in the ninth through twelfth grades. Those who experienced higher levels of family stress in their freshman years had poorer academic records by senior year. Students with higher levels of academic problems in ninth grade experienced greater family stress in twelfth grade.

"The two-directional process of spillover between family and school identified here suggests that reducing stress in the family may have benefits for adolescents' school adjustment and vice versa," Dr. Flook wrote in the journal Child Development.

Labels: families, school, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 7:14 AM 0 comments

Monday, February 25, 2008

Pushing for Perfection

Few people would associate affluent teens with stress or depression, but studies are finding exactly that. It's the subject of the book "The Price of Privilege" by clinical psychologist Madeline Levine.

"Pressure from parents and the outside world to take AP classes, excel in a sport and do community service on top of hours of homework each night produces kids who are stressed, angry and disconnected from their world, Levine said."

Levine goes on to say that increased cases of cutting - intentional self-mutilation - are the result of kids living in a world where they're expected to look good no matter how bad they feel. She encouraged parents to spend time simply getting to know their kids, rather than checking up on grades, athletic performance, or college applications. Read more at CoastLinePilot.com.

Labels: pressures, self-harm, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 5:21 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Supportive Family Structure Linked to Delays in the Onset of Puberty

Children who grow up in families where there is a lot of parental support from both a mother and a father and below-average marital conflict and depression experience puberty later than children without such advantages, according to a new study.

Researchers from the University of Arizona and University of Wisconsin/Madison studied the families of 227 children as they went from preschool through middle school. They found that stressors like marital conflict, lack of support from parents and negativity in the child/parent relationship increased the age of onset of puberty. Other factors were the age of the mother at puberty, socio-economic levels, and Body Mass Index. Leaner children tend to sexually mature later.

This study appears in the Journal of Child Development.

Labels: puberty, stress, support

posted by ByParents-forParents at 7:57 AM 0 comments

Monday, September 24, 2007

Starting High School Creates High Stress Levels in Students

Some educators believe that the first year of high school is the most stressful in a child's school career. Now researchers at the Centre for Studies on Human Stress plan to measure saliva stress-levels among teens entering high school to study the effects of stress on their capacity to learn effectively.

The pilot program study will involve 500 children in Montreal.

A previous research project at the Centre found that children from families of low socio-economic status experienced more stress than children from wealthier families. However, the same researchers made an unexpected discovery when they found that nearly all students in the year before high school had elevated stress levels regardless of family backgrounds.

Tania Schramek, coordinator of the pilot study, said that starting high school provides all the ingredients for human stress because it is a situation that is new, unpredictable and threatening, and one that creates a sense of loss of control.

Private boarding high schools, like the Academy at Swift River, offer therapy and counseling for students feeling stressed out about school and life in general.

Labels: health, school, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:54 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Corral that Clutter

Another school year is just around the corner. Many teens' lives become incredibly hectic once school starts; between actual classes and all the extracurricular activity. Helping a teen get and stay organized will help him better manage the near-chaos of school life.

"Organization means stuff management as well as time management, and these life skills are closely intertwined, experts say. Taking the time to toss or donate unused items, setting up systems to store what remains and creating a command center for dates and homework will save time - and stress - every day."

Experts say there's a difference between being disorganized and being messy. A teen that's disorganized will be late nearly every day because he was searching for homework or a permission slip. A messy teen will know which pile of papers has what he needs. Read more at MontereyHerald.com.

Looking for boarding high schools? Find a complete list at TeenBoardingSchools.com.

Labels: homework, stress, time_management

posted by ByParents-forParents at 8:58 PM 0 comments

Monday, August 20, 2007

Helping Your Kids Choose a Career

The competition seems to get tougher and tougher. Even in her freshman year of college, your child might begin vying for post-graduate internships and jobs. But as Sue Shellenbarger from The Wall Street Journal has watched this scenario unfold in her own household, she's less concerned about the level of competition and more concerned with the ultimate career paths her kids are choosing.

"Although I'm glad my son, 16, and my daughter, 19, are thinking about jobs, their deliberations hold none of the curiosity or sense of exploration that I recall feeling at their age. Instead, they seem rushed and grim."

Most young people feel a high level of "career anxiety", according to college counselors. This anxiety causes them to choose a career path - any path - very early and set about pursuing it without much thought to what they actually enjoy or might find satisfying. Ask leading questions when your teen begins talking about work and a career. Help him discover not only his natural talents, but the ways he enjoys using those talents. Be one of the few voices in your kid's life that's telling her it's ok to choose a career she actually loves. Read more at OCRegister.com.

The best boarding schools will offer your teenager a peak at different career choices by offering a variety of classes. Find a boarding school for your teen at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: careers, education, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:26 AM 0 comments

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Multiple Stressors On Children Affects Their Physical Health

Children who are under constant stress from family fighting, violence, noise and other pressures put more strain on their bodies than children who live without such multiple stressors. However, a supportive mother can make a difference in how much strain they experience.

The research may explain why low-income children often do not function as well in school.

Researchers from Cornell University's College of Human Ecology studied blood pressure measurements and urine samples from 207 children from upstate New York over a period of several years. They found that exposure to chronic and multiple stress factors affected the children's neuroendocrine hormonal systems, cardiovascular responses and metabolism. However, if they received support from their mothers in coping with such stressors, the effect was less.

This study appears in the March 2007 issue of Developmental Psychology.

Labels: development, health, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:42 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 21, 2007

Additional Stresses on 'Affluent' Teens

Most young people and their parents will admit that the teenage years are stressful. But a recent study by the Collaborative Youth Team in Naperville, Illinois has discovered that teens of affluent families may carry some additional - unnecessary - stress.

"Those were defined as 'too much academic, sports and materialistic competition; over involvement in community/school activities and trying to live up to an image of 'the perfect Naperville'."

The study also found that Chicago suburbs aren't the only place where these additional pressures are found. Nationally, more and more teenagers are feeling pressured to achieve higher and higher levels of academic and athletic success in order to secure admission to their colleges of choice. Read more online.

Labels: image, pressures, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:11 PM 0 comments

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Parents' Job Stress Affects Kids

If a parent has a bad day at work, children know. In fact, most children not only know how to determine if a parent is stressed out, they also know how to react accordingly.

Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families Work Institute of New York, studied 600 parents and a thousand children ages 8 to 18. When she asked the children what they wished they could change about their parents' jobs, most wished their parents could have less stress. Galinsky found that children have ways of determining their parents' stress levels by observing their body language or even by eavesdropping on phone conversations using the mute button.

Galinsky presented this research at the 2006 annual meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association.

Private high school boarding schools can offer parents and kids some time apart to work out their problems and give each other space for personal growth. Learn more about boarding high schools at TeenBoardingSchools.com and get find the best boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: communication, role models, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 8:04 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 07, 2007

Teen "Cutters" Are Not Suicidal

"Cutting" or inflicting injuries on oneself is on the rise among American teenagers. However, the good news is that "cutters" are usually not suicidal.

Dr. David Klonsky of Stony Brook University in New York found that one in six American teens self-injures as a way to relieve anxiety and stress. Scientists used to believe that this behavior was a sign of severe mental illness and suicidal tendencies but Dr. Klonsky discovered that it is only a coping mechanism.

"There is a build-up of overwhelming negative emotion from frustration, anxiety or loneliness," he said. "Afterwards, they feel calm and relaxed. However, often on the next day, they feel angry or ashamed."

This study appears in the Clinical Psychology Review of April 2006.

Labels: risky_behavior, stress, suicide

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:24 PM 0 comments

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Stressed-Out Kids Suffer More Fevers

Children who live in families that report more stress than normal have more fevers and illness, according to a new study done at the University of Rochester Medical Center.

Researchers studied 169 children ages 5 to 10 for three years. Parents kept weekly records of their children's health and used digital thermometers to keep track of fevers. They also answered questions about the family's stress levels.

The study found that families reporting greater stress had children had fevers more often.

"I figured families under stress might think their children were sick more often when they actually weren't," said Dr. Mary Caserta, principal investigator on the study. "But fevers are not subjective. These kids living with chronic stress in their families really were sick more often."

The researchers also concluded that a child's natural killer cell function increases under chronic stress, but they were not sure why. This study appears in the March 2007 issue of the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine.

Labels: children, health, stress

posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:12 PM 0 comments

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