News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers
The By Parents For Parents Blog is regularly updated with the latest news and information on topics that relate to parenting teenagers. We'll post parenting advice and tips from trusted online news sources and expert parenting columns.
We invite you to add your comments. Please let us know if you would like some specific topics covered, want to share your experience as a parent dealing with teens, or just have general feedback on the By Parents For Parents Blog.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Parenting Challenge: Children with Opposite-Sex Friends
When teenagers begin developing friendships with people of the opposite sex, it can cause a whole new set of questions and concerns to rise to the forefront of a parent's mind. Is it OK for them to be alone? If they're in your teen's room, should the door stay open? What if you set rules that are different than those of other parents?
"'Nobody else can tell you what's right in your household,' says panelist Marcie Lightwood. 'You have the right to set your own rules according to your values.' There is nothing wrong with limiting the time teens can be alone with the opposite sex."
Parents have the right to set clear rules and to enforce those rules. Some teens may need more structure than others (especially those who are more impulsive), so rules will vary from house to house. Source: The Morning Call (Allentown, Pennsylvania)
Labels: rules, sex, values
posted by ByParents-forParents at 1:20 AM
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Parenting Programs at Work May Help Parents and Teens Talk About Sex
A new study from Children's Hospital Boston has found that parenting programs in the workplace can help parents feel more comfortable and confident talking to their kids about sexual health. Five hundred sixty-nine parents of adolescents participated in the study; some attended parenting classes and some received no intervention at all.
"'We'd teach them some skills one week, and they'd come back the next week bubbling over with excitement that they'd talked with their teen about relationships, love, or sex... their teen had actually engaged in a real conversation with them, or role-played a topic like how to say no to unwanted sexual advances,' the British Medical Journal quoted Mark Schuster, the study's lead researcher, as saying."
The programs, which took place during lunch hour, did not interfere with normal workday activities. Previous studies have found that adolescents who talk to their parents about sexual health are more likely to delay sexual activity, use contraception and have fewer partners. Source:
New Kerala (India)
Labels: communication, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:06 PM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Government Study Says Today's Teens Less Likely to Smoke, Drink, and have Sex
Fewer of today's high school students are smoking, drinking, and having sex than were their counterparts in the 1990s, according to a new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Cigarette usage is down to 11 percent from 26 percent in 1991. Alcohol use declined from 27 percent to 20 percent today. The percentage of sexually active teens changed from 54 percent in 1991 to 48 percent today. Condom use went up to 61 percent from 46 percent in 1991. Today's teens are also more likely to wear seat belts, the study found.
Labels: drinking, sex, smoking
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:17 AM
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Abstinence-only Sex Ed Programs May Not Curb Teen Pregnancy
Last week's announcement from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that one in four American teens has a sexually transmitted disease has ignited more fury in the debate on sex education in public schools. Now, a new study from the University of Washington (UW) reveals that students who receive comprehensive sex education that includes information on condoms and birth control are half as likely to become teen parents as those who participate in abstinence-only programs.
UW analyzed the education of 1,719 heterosexual teens ages 15 to 19 and found that 67% had comprehensive sex education, 24% had abstinence-only, and 9% had no sex education. The ones in the comprehensive program were 50% less likely to report pregnancy than those in abstinence-only group.
"We're building more and more evidence that abstinence-only education isn't having much effect," said Pamela Kohler, the lead author of the study.
Congress has spent more than $1.5 billion over the past decade on Title V Abstinence Education, and yet American teens have higher rates of pregnancy, abortion, and STDs than those in other developed countries.
Labels: education, pregnancy, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:40 PM
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Teens are Inconsistent About Using Birth Control
Teens who are involved in "romantic" dating relationships are more likely to use birth control with their partners, according to scientists at Child Trends.
Dr. Jennifer Manlove and her colleagues collected data from 4,500 sexually experienced students, ages 12 to 17 years. Four out of 10 did not use birth control or used it infrequently, especially if they had multiple partners. Girls involved with older boys or men were also more likely to have unprotected sex. However, if a teen was in a self-described "romantic" relationship, he or she was likely to use contraception. This study appeared in the journal Demographics.
Worried your daughter is engaging in unprotected sex or other risky behaviors? An
all girls school that offers therapy may help. Learn more at
BoardingSchoolsForGirls.com.
Labels: birth_control, risky_behavior, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 5:22 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Casual Sex Puts Canadian Teens at Risk
Pediatrician Jean-Yves Frappier recently released results of a study which showed that Canadian teens are at high risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. The study, conducted with nearly 1,200 teens, found that 25 percent of those who were sexually active didn't use a condom the last time they had sex.
"'They don't know some of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and their consequences,' Frappier said. '(About) 25 percent think it can be contracted by sitting on the toilet seat or swimming in a pool.'"
The ignorance about STDs, combined with so many teens having unprotected sex, has led to a spike in sexually transmitted infections. The study found that, on average, teens reported having three partners since they started having sex, and 38 percent of them engage in casual sex. Read more at Canada.com.
Labels: risky_behavior, sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:57 AM
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Half of Teens Say Getting Pregnant is Possible
A Seventeen Magazine survey of 500 girls ages 13 to 18 found that half of them believe it is possible they would become pregnant within the next five years. However, the majority (66%) worry more about sexually-transmitted diseases than getting pregnant.
Seventy percent of the girls reported that if boys took a more active part in birth control, which would help in preventing unplanned pregnancies. Over 66% said that they had a friend who is now or has been pregnant.
The Seventeen survey was done in conjunction with the Candie's Foundation, which works to prevent teen pregnancy. According to foundation statistics, about 40% of all American girls will become pregnant before they are 20.
"It is unacceptable that approximately 750,000 teenagers will have babies this year in the U.S. Teens need to know and understand that pregnancy has incredibly devastating consequences," Neil Cole, founder of the Candie Foundation, said.
If you have a pregnant teen and need an
alternative to traditional boarding schools, visit TeenBoardingSchools.com for a list of
alternative boarding schools.
Labels: birth_control, pregnancy, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 8:08 PM
Friday, February 01, 2008
Never Too Late to Talk to Kids about Sex
It's never an easy conversation. It's hard to say who's more embarrassed, the parent or the child. But talking to your child about sex is important and even if you've procrastinated, it's never too late. There are even organizations that specialize in hosting programs for parents to help them figure out what to say to their child and when.
"'I think the more information you have, the better prepared you are,' said Cherish Stickel, 40, who recently attended one of the sessions at Pleasant Valley Junior High School in LeClaire. 'Power is knowledge, I think.' That need for information is especially great now, in light of recent media attention on teen pregnancy, said Libbet Brooke, one of the program facilitators and the health educator at the Edgerton Clinic in Davenport."
The rise in media attention reflects the recent spike in pregnancies among 15- to 19-year-old teenagers. It's important that parents be armed with the right information and can use facts rather than scare tactics when talking to their teens. Read more at QCTimes.com.
An
adolescent residential treatment center can help pregnant teens deal with their emotions and the risky behaviors that lead to their condition. Youth Care offers a
program for pregnant teens where they get therapeutic help while earning academic credits.
Labels: communication, parenting_tips, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:41 AM
Friday, January 11, 2008
Talking to Teens about Sex
Britney Spears' younger sister, Jamie Lynn, is 16 and pregnant. The young star of Nickelodeon's Zoey 101, Jamie Lyn brings to the forefront the issue of teen pregnancy and the dangers of trying to grow up too fast too soon. The story also creates an opportunity for parents to talk to their kids about sex.
"How early to start talking about sex depends on the maturity of your child. If a question comes up, be honest, open, and respectful. Also be sure there is two way conversation and not a one way lecture."
Lisa Leblanc, Community Program Coordinator of the Women's Foundation recommends that parents set dating rules, including restrictions how old or young a boy- or girlfriend can be. Sexual activity seems to occur more often in relationships between older boys and younger girls.
Looking for a
boarding school for your teenager? Visit
TeenBoardingSchools.com for a complete list of boarding schools.
Labels: communication, pregnancy, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 5:17 PM
Monday, December 24, 2007
Social Scientists Isolate 5 Factors Linked to Early Sexual Experimentation
Researchers at the University of Wisconsin/Madison have found several factors that increase the likelihood that a person will have sex at an early age.
These factors are advanced puberty development, low self-esteem, attention deficit disorder, parents with little education, and watching more than three hours of television per day. Each factor increased the likelihood of early sex by 44%.
"It isn't any one thing, it's cumulative," said Dr. Janet Hyde, a psychologist and lead author of the study. She and her colleagues believe that children who watch excessive television probably lack parental supervision. Lack of supervision is linked to early sexual experimentation, not watching television per se.
She and her colleagues studied 273 children at ages 13 and then age 15. Only one in ten boys in the study lost their virginity by age 15; among girls, the percent was slightly less.
This study was presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.
Labels: puberty, self-esteem, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:21 AM
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Adults OK Contraception to Students
About two-thirds of American adults believe it is okay to allow public schools to provide birth control to students, according to a recent poll by the Associated Press.
However, most respondents said that schools should ask for parental consent first. Those surveyed were divided on whether passing out contraceptives encourages teens to have sex, and how to go about teaching sex education classes. Higher-income earners and older adults tended to believe that schools should not provide birth control. The views of men and women were similar.
About five percent of public high schools provide condoms for students.
NorthStar Center offers
treatment for drug addiction to young adults who are in recovery and on the road to success. Visit
www.northstarcenter.com to learn more.
Labels: contraception, school, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:20 PM
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Teen Sex: No Positives
Some strange studies have surfaced lately about the positive effects that sexual relationships can have in the life of a teenager. One study claims teens that have consensual sex are far less likely to engage in other risky behaviors. But, in an attempt to be a voice of reason, Armstrong Williams offers a different perspective.
"From unwanted pregnancies to sexually transmitted diseases, sex can cause a world of hurt for those who are unprepared for the consequences... Are they ready to drop out of school and go to work to support a child? Of course not! Are they prepared to find an abortion clinic or adoption center and figure out their options? Doubtful! Are they prepared to go through nine months of pregnancy and all the strains that are brought about? Absolutely not! And are they prepared to raise a child when they themselves are not even old enough to drive or vote? The answer is as clear as day: NO."
Even if a teen doesn't get pregnant, there are still consequences to having sex too early. STDs, depression, rejection, and promiscuity are just a few of the possible dire effects.
Middle school girls who may be exhibiting behaviors that are beyond what's considered acceptable by most parents are often reacting to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. New Leaf Academy,
boarding schools for girls in Oregon and North Carolina, can help by offering a safe, structured, and nurturing
junior boarding school environment.
Labels: risky_behavior, sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases
posted by ByParents-forParents at 7:15 PM
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sexually Degrading Song Lyrics Linked to Early Teen Sex
The "hip-hop" culture is about sexually suggestive music, dancing and videos. However, researchers at Columbia University believe that hip-hop does not necessarily encourage teens to experiment with sex. Factors that do influence early sexual expression are drugs, alcohol, peer pressure and "sexually degrading" lyrics in contemporary music. The Columbia group found that hip-hop lyrics are not always sexually degrading, but sometimes were actually sexually empowering for girls.
Dr. Miguel Munoz-Laboy, an assistant professor of socioeconomic sciences, and his colleagues studied more than 1,400 teenagers over a two-year period. They explored the hip-hop culture, and even went to dance clubs. They found that sexually degrading lyrics, as opposed to sexually explicit lyrics, negatively influenced young people. The worst were lyrics that portray women as sexual objects, men as insatiable and sex as meaningless.
Dr. Munoz-Laboy's work appears in the journal
Culture, Health and Sexuality.
Pine Ridge Academy is a
boarding school for troubled teens that helps teenagers transition from a residential treatment center to a more traditional
boarding school.
Labels: influences, music, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 8:56 PM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
STDs Transmission Highest Among Teens
A new federal study reports that teenagers 15 to 19 years old have the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases than other age groups.
The Public Health Institute Center for Research on Adolescent Health and Development reported this month that half of all new HIV cases are among African-American girls ages 15 years and older.
New Leaf Academy
junior boarding schools help middle school aged girls who are struggling emotionally and academically. Visit
newleafacademy.com for more information.
Labels: health, sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:15 PM
Monday, November 19, 2007
Teen Sex
Genarlow Wilson spent nearly three years in jail for having a sexual encounter with a 15-year-old girl; he was 17 at the time. The media frenzy surrounding his case has brought to the forefront an unpleasant new reality - an increasing number of teens are engaging in oral sex.
"Studies show that, in what appears to be a generational shift, oral sex has become increasingly casual among kids. Erik Fisher, a Dunwoody psychologist, believes there's a disconnect between the attitudes of parents and kids toward oral sex. A lot of teens don't consider it sex at all, he said."
What many teens don't know is that the dangers of oral sex are almost as numerous as the dangers of intercourse. For example, STDs can still be transmitted. Parents need to talk to their kids often about sex, in all its forms, and help teens understand that oral sex is still sex, and there could still be consequences if teens engage too early in sexual activity.
SunHawk Academy is an
adolescent drug treatment boarding school and
residental treatment center. Learn about their
troubled teen boarding school at www.sunhawkacademy.com.
Labels: acceptable_behaviors, attitudes, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 5:30 PM
Friday, November 09, 2007
It's OK to Just Say No
Many parents struggle to talk to their teens about sex. It's going to be an awkward conversation, no matter what, and that's ok. It's also ok for teens to say no to sex. It's a message they don't hear often, but one they need to hear from their parents.
"Endeavour to teach your children the ins and outs of dating and sex from an early age and reinforce this message frequently. Above all, help your teenagers to appreciate that dating means getting to know other people emotionally and not only physically."
Many teens will feel pressured to have sex, and many will think they have to give in to that pressure. Having a parent tell them it's ok to say ‘no' may be just the confidence booster they need to not only resist the pressure but maybe exert some pressure of their own to have a more holistic, healthy dating relationship.
The Aspen Institute for Behavorial Assessment offers programs
for troubled teens. Learn more at
AspenAsssessment.com.
Labels: communication, dating, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:47 PM
Friday, October 26, 2007
Bad Relationships with Teachers Linked to Early Sex Experimentation
Researchers in Canada have found a link between early sex and bad relationships with teachers and peers.
Children who had been verbally abused by their teachers or picked on by their friends were more likely to have sex before age 13. They were also more likely to use drugs and alcohol, and engage in delinquent behaviors such as fighting and stealing.
Dr. Mara Bendgren said that these students with negative relationships with teachers and peers might become less interested in school.
She and her colleagues tracked 312 children from kindergarten through seventh grade. About 17% had sex by the time they were 13 years old.
The study appears in the American Journal of Public Health.
Private boarding schools often offer more extra-curricular activities and honors classes to challenge students academically. Find one at
BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.
Labels: influences, sex, teaching
posted by ByParents-forParents at 12:38 PM
Monday, October 22, 2007
Getting Their Girlfriend Pregnant Goal of Abusive Adolescent Males
About half of teenage girls in abusive relationships have partners who want to get them pregnant against their wills, according to a study in the journal Ambulatory Pediatrics.
Dr. Elizabeth Miller, a pediatrician with the University of California Davis Children's Hospital, and her colleagues interviewed 61 young women ages 15 to 20 years old from a variety of backgrounds who had histories of physical, sexual or emotional abuse within dating relationships. Twenty-eight reported that their boyfriends were actively trying to get them pregnant by sabotaging contraception.
"We were floored by what these girls told us," Dr. Miller said. "You think of forced sex as an aspect of abusive relationships, but this takes that abuse a step further to reproductive control of a young woman's body."
Troubled boys can find help at single sex schools. Find an all boys school at
SchoolsForBoys.com.
Labels: abuse, relationships, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 4:31 PM
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Parental Supervision
A young girl writes in to an Arizona newspaper, asking for reasons why boy and girls should have adult supervision. The responder, Marilyn Heins, makes her case well.
"It sounds as though you are old enough to know about sex and you have hormones that already have changed your body and now lead you to think about sex a lot, or least about kissing and stuff like that. But I'm pretty certain that you aren't old enough to know how to deal with these curiosities and urges. So you need help learning how to be the boss of your body."
Heins goes on to say that girls and boys need help understanding why it's important to learn to control their bodies and their urges.
In addition to controlling their bodies, teens need to understand the importance of avoiding
teen substance abuse and sexual abuse. Visit the
Teen-Help-Directory to learn more.
Labels: safety, sex, supervision
posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:17 AM
Monday, July 30, 2007
Girls Gone Mild
When Wendy Shalit wrote her first book,
A Return to Modest: Discovering the Lost Virtue, she was surprised at the response she received. While people from the baby boom generation reacted with animosity, the younger generations responded quite favorably. This has led her to publish a follow-up work called
Girls Gone Mild, which addresses the sexual pressures many young women face.
"'It's about how people misunderstand the "good girl,"' she said in an early July interview here. She believes society often ostracizes these girls or views them as "people pleasing." Instead, she said they are actually "rebels" in choosing to go against teachers and parents to live a chaste lifestyle."
As part of her research, she interviewed more than 100 girls and young women, and communicated via her web site with more than 3,000 others. Shalit's hope is to encourage young girls to stand against the pressures to be sexually promiscuous, and do so without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. Read more at
Catholic.org.
If you daughter is struggling with sexual promiscuity or other risky behaviors, then
Copper Canyon Academy can help.
Copper Canyon Academy is an
all girls boarding school that offers academics within a therapeutic program designed to bring out the best in girls.
Labels: abstinence, girls, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 4:47 PM
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Oral Sex Becoming More Common
More and more teenagers are engaging in oral sex. Many rationalize their behavior by stating that oral sex is safe, and that it "isn't really sex'. Counselors attribute the increased oral sex activity to a lack of moral foundation and confusion about what is "normal" behavior between men and women.
"Some teens say it can take place at parties, possibly with multiple partners. But they say the more likely scenario is oral sex within an existing relationship... A new study showed that more teens believed oral sex was more acceptable for their age group than intercourse, even if the partners are not dating."
A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control found that over half of 15- to 19-year-olds are having oral sex. Read more at
ClaudeMills.com.
If your teen is engaging in risky behaviors, a
private boarding school may be the answer.
BoardingSchoolsInfo.com lists
private boarding schools,
boarding high schools, and
residential schools and programs for adolescents.
Labels: acceptable_behaviors, morals, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:32 AM
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Stress May Cause Teens Not to Use Condoms
A big factor in whether teens practice safe sex is if they feel confident about asking their partners to use condoms and if they can use them when they are emotionally upset.
Researchers at the Bradley Hasbro Children's Research Center and the Warren Alpert Medical School at Brown University studied 222 teenagers with psychiatric disorders. Those teens who felt uncomfortable and distressed about using and/or discussing condoms were their partners were less likely to use them.
"Helping teens decrease stress and increase skills is a critical component to HIV prevention," Dr. Celia Lescano, lead author of the study, said. This study appears in the Journal of Prevention and Intervention in the Community.
If your child is engaging in risky behaviors a
private boarding school may be a good option for your teen and your family.
Private high school boarding schools can help your teenager with emotional and behavioral issues while offering
college preparatory academics. Learn more at
TeenBoardingSchools.com.
Labels: risky_behavior, sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:58 AM
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Having Sex at a Young Age Linked to Juvenile Delinquency
Teens who have sex at earlier ages than their peer group are at more risk for juvenile delinquency later.
A study of over 7,000 teenagers indicates that those who had sex at younger ages were 20% more likely to participate in illegal acts a year later such as painting graffiti, damaging property, stealing and selling drugs.
"We did not find that sex itself leads to delinquency, but that beginning sexual relationships long before your friends is cause for concern," said Stacy Armour, co-author of the study and a doctoral student at Ohio State University.
Researchers used data collected from students at 132 high schools and middle schools in 1994. The students were re-interviewed a year later and again in 2002. Students at each individual school had a different average age for initial sexual intercourse that ranged from 11.25 years to 17.5 years. Students were compared only to students at their own schools.
Armour said that the connection between early sex and juvenile delinquency has to do with the entire context of a person’s life. This study appears in the February 2007 issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence.
Labels: juvenile delinquency, research, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 8:15 AM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Parents and Schools Unsure about HPV Vaccinations
HPV - Human Papillomavirus - is a sexually transmitted disease which is closely linked with cervical cancer. Many people in the political arena and among the medical community would like to see the vaccine for HPV made mandatory for girls entering 5th and 6th grade.
"Although some people who oppose making the vaccine mandatory cite its cost, [Ellen] Taylor [chief of gynecology at Northwestern Hospital Center] said the expense to track and treat any pre-cancerous and cancerous cells caused by the virus will cost more."
Some people also oppose making the vaccine mandatory because they fear it will lead to promiscuity among younger children. Most medical professionals, however, don't believe a vaccination would increase sexual activity.
Read more at
CommunityTimes.com.
Labels: sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases
posted by ByParents-forParents at 6:04 PM
Friday, February 16, 2007
Parents Worry About Too Much Media More Than Alcohol, Sex and Other Concerns
Sex and alcohol use are now second-rate worries among parents, a new study finds. Parents in the United States now say their number one concern is that their children spend too much time in front of TV and computer screens.
A study by Insight Research Group funded by a San Francisco organization that monitors the effect of media on children found that 57% of parents in their survey were concerned about the time spent in computer, television and video activities. Fewer parents (45%) worried about sex and alcohol.
Labels: alcohol, sex, teens
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:05 AM
Monday, February 05, 2007
New Study Reveals New Issues for Teens
Emerson Hospital in Massachusetts created a new study to identify risky behaviors among middle- and high school students. One of the most surprising results was the students' responses to questions about oral sex; 36% of high school students admitted giving or receiving oral sex.
"Educators say the study is a valuable assessment of teenage behavior and opens up a window for parents to talk to their teens about good decision making."
More than 8,000 middle- and high school students filled out the anonymous surveys which will be discussed at upcoming school committee meetings. Read more at
LowellSun.com.
Labels: behavior, communication, sex
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:26 PM
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Teens Ask for Science-Based Sex Ed
Teens from Des Moines, Iowa spent part of Tuesday at the Capitol telling legislators that including medical and scientific information in sex education classes would help reduce and prevent teen pregnancy and disease. Many of the teens agreed that more sex education is needed.
"'You can't do a two-day thing on sex and be like, "OK, you know enough." You can't say, "Here's pamphlets and video, let's call it a day,"' said [Venessa] McDole, who is a peer counselor with R3..."
The Iowa Senate and House both have bills on the table that would require science-based, age-appropriate sex education. A subcommittee with discuss the bills today. Read more at
DesMoinesRegister.com.
Labels: education, sex, teenagers
posted by ByParents-forParents at 5:15 PM
