News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

A survey of 2,700 middle- and high school students found that almost three-fourths consider themselves friendly, honest, and smart. More than 80 percent said their parents make them feel good about themselves, and 60 percent reported having close relationships with parents.

The survey from Teens Today research also found that if young people spend time with their parents, they are less likely to drink (67 percent vs. 43 percent) or to use drugs (87 percent compared to 77 percent).

The survey was sponsored by Students against Destructive Decisions.

Labels: parental-involvement, relationships, role models

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If a parent has a bad day at work, children know. In fact, most children not only know how to determine if a parent is stressed out, they also know how to react accordingly.

Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families Work Institute of New York, studied 600 parents and a thousand children ages 8 to 18. When she asked the children what they wished they could change about their parents' jobs, most wished their parents could have less stress. Galinsky found that children have ways of determining their parents' stress levels by observing their body language or even by eavesdropping on phone conversations using the mute button.

Galinsky presented this research at the 2006 annual meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association.

Private high school boarding schools can offer parents and kids some time apart to work out their problems and give each other space for personal growth. Learn more about boarding high schools at TeenBoardingSchools.com and get find the best boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: stress, communication, role models

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Rosalind Wiseman, author of the book which inspired the movie "Mean Girls" has a unique message for parents: parents and their children aren't perfect, no matter their status. Many parents strive to keep their kids on a "perfect path" of being academically, athletically, and socially perfect - but nobody's perfect.

"So many times... parents buy into the same cultural ideas as their children as they fight to keep flawless appearances or push their children to compete with others. Rather than focusing on getting their children in the AP Physics course or on a sports team, parents should be in the business of raising 'socially competent children.'"

Though her advice is mainly directed at parents of teenagers, it's good information for those whose children haven't yet reached the teen years. Read more at Bradenton.com.

Labels: influences, role models, social_pressure

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Cooking, cleaning, budgeting, grocery shopping... these are skills that every person needs to have if they're going to live productive lives. Helping your teen begin to learn these and other skills means they'll be better prepared to manage their own lives when they move out on their own.

"By the time your children are in high school, they should be doing for themselves a lot of the things youve been doing for them all of their lives."

If you haven't started teaching your teen to be self-sufficient, it's never too late. Simple things like grocery shopping are easy enough. Simply take your teenager with you. You can take her with you on lots of simple errands like picking up dry cleaning and taking your pets to the vet. Not only will this help her learn how to start doing these things on her own, but it provides great opportunities for deeper discussions. Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Labels: responsibility, role models, setting_examples

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As a parent, relating to your teen can be tough. They have their own language, their own music and definitely their own fashion styles. Some parents, in an effort to connect with their teenagers, try to emulate teen culture - using the same slang and trying to wear the same kinds of clothing. But that's not what most teens want.

"As parents we need to understand that our teens want us to be grown up. This can be incredibly easy for us to miss or forget... They want us to be the people who know what's going on. They want us to be in charge. They want us to provide the security, the rules, the guidance, and the lookout."

Instead of trying to be the "cool" parent, be the parent your kids know they can count on. If they know they can come to you and depend on you when they have questions or - heaven forbid - a crisis, they will. Read more at TimesSentinel.com.

Labels: communication, teen_culture, role models

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Young girls have long idolized such superstars as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. But it seems that the idolization is starting at younger and younger ages, as girls are consistently taught - through the media and mass marketing - that they're only as good as they look. The American Psychological Association, in a recent report, called this "sexualization".

"The report, published Feb. 19, defined sexualization as something 'occurring when a person's value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, and when a person is sexually objectified.' Results showed that every media form contributed to the sexualization of girls and young women by portraying them in a sexual manner more often than boys and men."

The report found that sexualization is particularly damaging to young girls and increases the risk for things like depression and eating disorders. Parents, teachers, and other authority figures and mentors can counteract some of these effects by being positive role models, monitoring what young girls are watching and reading, and complimenting girls for their character, performance in school or sports, and other attributes besides their physical appearance. Read more online.

Labels: media_infuences, risky_behavior, role models

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Years ago, scientific studies indicated that parents who argue a lot have children with conduct disorders.

Now a new study concludes that argumentative parents probably pass on genes for conduct problems.

A research team led by Dr. Paige Harden at the University of Virginia studied 1,045 twins and their 2,051 children. The team concluded that genetics, not marital conflicts, caused children's conduct disorders.

Children with conduct disorders exhibit a range of misbehaviors such as skipping school, bullying, shoplifting, lying, and running away from home.

This study appears in the January/February 2007 issue of the journal, Child Development.

Labels: behavior, research, role models

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A study conducted by the University of California Davis and Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University has concluded that anti-social behavior is often learned by children observing parents who display anti-social behavior.

"Parents' behavior provides children with a model for their own behavior, and children's perception that a parent is anti-social may be a key component in choosing and validating their own behaviors, giving children permission to engage in this type of behavior."

The study also found that the development of this behavior began well before the child reached the 9th grade, and often continued on throughout high school. Read more at PsychCentral.com.

Could your child's anti-social behavior be Asperger's Syndrome? Children diagnosed with Aspergers or AS can be overly logical, clumsy and uncoordinated, tend to speak too loudly or in whispers, or may have trouble with sensory integration. The most difficult trait for kids with Asperger's is their inability to pick up other people's social cues and to respond appropriately. Learn more about Asperger's Syndrome, including diagnosing symptoms, the benefits, and the differences between AS and autism, at www.yourlittleprofessor.com.

Labels: behavior, role models

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Learn to effectively communicate with your teen can be frustrating. You don't always get the results you want. Though you may be tempted to resort to bribery or manipulation, remember that your kids follow your lead when learning how to relate to others.

"Teenagers need to learn how to get their needs met but without resorting to using control, power, or manipulation."

As you work to strengthen and improve your relationship with your teenager, learning to accept her for who she is, you'll see her begin to emulate your example in her relationships with others. Read more at ParentingIdeas.com.

Labels: communication, role models

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For generations, professional athletes have been popular role models for young people. But as more stories surface about athletes egaging in violent behaviors and substance abuse, Stephen Hume from the Vancouver Sun questions whether our kids should look up to professional athletes at all.

“Sports is all about building character, right? Well, I suppose it is, if character means cheating, thieving, lying, philandering, violence, using drugs and going to prison… can there be a worse role model for kids than pro sport?” [Source: The Vancouver Sun]

Where professional athletes used to take seriously their responsibility as role models, many now shrug it off saying they “didn’t ask for this,” or defending their behavior saying their personal lives have nothing to do with their professional performance. Unfortunately, attitudes aren’t likely to change unless the historically-faithful professional sport fan base suddenly disappears.

 

Labels: athletics, role models

Posted By: Stefanie Hamilton 1 Comment