News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

In what may have been a clever ratings move or - as producer Tom Shelly states - a genuine attempt to address the issues of teen pregnancy, NBC is launching a new series titled "The Baby Borrowers," in which teenage couples provide round-the-clock care for someone else's children.

"Unlike other reality shows, which are primarily interested in putting its players on the edge of a hot tub or a nervous breakdown, 'Borrowers' appears to be genuinely sincere about its mission: show teenage viewers that parenthood is a very grown-up grind."

An 18-year-old girl from New Hampshire who appears in the series said she got just that kind of wake up call. Kelsey Lampman went into the show thinking she had enough experience and good sense to handle full-time parenthood. By the end, however, she admitted that she needs to wait for the right time and the right person. "The Baby Borrowers" is scheduled to air Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on NBC. Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune

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Labels: reality, responsibility, tv

A concerned parent recently wrote in to the Wall Street Journal's "Work and Family Mailbox," looking for advice about her teenage children. She's divorced, and her ex-husband allows their kids to use his house when he's out of town, even though they've been caught throwing parties. Because she's not willing to let the kids use her house, her kids say she doesn't trust them, and she isn't sure what to do.

"I'd recommend holding your ground. Your teens are simply behaving like normal adolescents, pushing boundaries and challenging rules, says Pauline Tesler, a San Francisco family-law attorney and co-author of 'Collaborative Divorce.' The limits you've set are appropriate..."

Tesler goes on to say that even the most well-intentioned teen is subject to peer pressure, which should be considered when setting rules and boundaries. She also suggests that the woman and her ex-husband work hard to come to an agreement about rules regarding empty houses and unauthorized parties. Source: The Wall Street Journal

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Labels: boundaries, responsibility, rules

Though difficult, the current economic downturn has its bright spots. One of them is that teens are learning to live more frugally.

"Facing the likelihood of paying $4 to $5 for a gallon of gas this summer and fewer employment opportunities, teenagers are curbing their propensity to buy $100 jeans and $60 shirts in favor of bargains, with the Associated Press recently reporting that secondhand clothing chains have experienced booming business among teens and their parents looking to buy brand names for less while 'stalwart retailers of teen apparel' have taken a hit."

This is a great time for parents to have conversations with their teens about money and budgeting, helping them see the value in finding great deals and living modestly. Source: Snohomish County Business Journal

Labels: money, responsibility

This story, and others like it, is becoming common: A parent complains that his daughter only wants the most expensive of everything - clothes, glasses, cell phones. There's little gratitude for the parents' willingness to pay for these things, only an ongoing demand for them. What's a parent to do?

"Any teen who really - and I mean really - wanted $325 spectacles [or a Sony Playstation] ought to be able to pay half. I make the same proposition regarding school-age children who want to start wearing contact lenses. One of the most predictable indicators of personal responsibility is financial commitment. A child who has invested their own money towards the purchase of contact lenses will take very good care of them - not so if merely given them."

Challenge your teen to find the clothes, glasses, or cell phone she wants online, at a discount. Most web-savvy teens can do that. The requirement to pay half still stands, but you'll both be paying half of less. Source: WebMD

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Labels: media_infuences, responsibility, teen_culture

High school students do not understand how to handle basic money issues, such as calculating APRs or investing for the highest returns. Fewer than half of high school students who took a financial literacy test from the JumpStart Coalition on Financial Literacy passed it. This was the lowest result in six years of testing.

Bernard Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, commented on the results, saying "the financial preparedness of our nation's youth is essential to their well-being and of vital important to our economic future."

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Labels: education, money, responsibility

Lamont Jackson had to buy life insurance and health insurance - with a $78 budget. Brendan Settles had to sell his car to get the money he needed to take care of his children. These were some of the imaginary scenarios faced by students at Manassas Park High School who participated in the third annual "Making It Real" program.

"Sponsored by Synergy One Federal Credit Union, the three-hour event gave students a sometimes painful view into what it takes to live, work and play in Prince William County. Each student was given a job with a corresponding salary and all but two had children, which were designated by blue or pink beads."

Many of the students were shocked to learn how much things really cost and how hard it can be to make ends meet. Some students had to return nonessential items like big-screen televisions that put them over budget. Source: Inside NoVa

Labels: money, responsibility

Along with the already numerous responsibilities of parenthood, some parents are adding one more: environmental responsibility. They've made the choice to "go green," and are teaching their kids to do the same.

"Greer Tidwell says it was important to he and his wife to hand off these standards to his daughter Brittainy, 15, son Hunter, 13, and daughter Sophie Rose, 5. 'We have tried to develop a foundation of being thoughtful consumers and to connect the kids to the outdoors through gardening and through hunting,' he says."

The family also recycles, switched to energy-efficient light bulbs, and gets most of their vegetables from their own garden. Read more at Tennessean.com.

Labels: responsibility, role_models

The current generation of young people is very tech savvy. Most of them have cell phones and computers. And some are using technology to send and receive explicit images of themselves and others.

"Taking the photos could lead to felony manufacturing child pornography charges, sending the photos could lead to distributing child pornography charges, and having the photos on a phone or computer could lead to possession of child pornography charges."

Even if charges aren't filed, few teens realize the potential implications of having explicit photos of themselves online; photos that can come back to haunt them later in life. Read more at NaplesNews.com.

Worried your teen is spending too much time on their computer or playing video games? Learn about Internet Addiction at VideoGameAddiction.org.

Labels: cell_phones, consequences, responsibility

Kids are getting cell phones at younger and younger ages. It's not uncommon to see elementary-aged students calling parents for rides home after school. Is your child ready for his or her first phone?

"Parenting expert [Diane] Debrovner says to consider whether your children will remember to charge the phone and turn it on, and whether they will lose it or forget to check a message. 'Do they do their homework and remember to turn it in? Get out of the house for school in the morning? Do they follow their rules?' Debrovner asked... "

It's important to consider, as well, whether or not your child is mature enough to follow the rules of cell phone use, which often includes keeping it turned off during school hours. Read more at HonoluluAdvertiser.com.

Having a phone could be a good time to teach your child about fiscal responsibility. Read Teens and Money: Teaching Fiscal Responsibility.

Labels: cell_phones, responsibility, teaching

A teen with a part-time job can ease some of the strain parents often feel on their pocketbooks. It can also teach a teen responsibility.

"So if you are teetering on the fence because you just aren't sure if your teen is ready, you should allow your teen to try... If, however, your 16-year-old is fighting the thought of getting a job, then don't push it. While you don't want to give into any fears of real world experiences, waiting one more year may give your teen the confidence he/she needs."

For younger teens (under 16), jobs can be hard to find. But babysitting, lawn mowing and paper routes are all excellent possibilities. Work with your teen to find a job that (though it won't be his dream job) will be a good fit for his personality and abilities. Read more at ParentingTeens.About.com.

Junior Boarding Schools, like New Leaf Academy, can help middle school age girls catch up academically while they work on social skills and maturity.

Labels: jobs, maturity, responsibility

Thirty percent of today's teens are already in debt and a majority believes that credit cards are easier to use than cash, according to a new study from the Charles Schwab brokerage house.

Schwab conducted a survey of American teens and found that the majority have casual attitudes toward using credit cards. In addition, seventy percent reported that their parents or guardians were not concerned with teaching them about smart money management.

Some studies have demonstrated that using credit cards increases the amount of money spent at any given time. For example, McDonalds found that adults spend 47% more in their restaurants if they use credit cards instead of cash.

Labels: attitudes, money, responsibility

Having a cell phone has become more than a rite of passage for teens; it has become commonplace. It can also help keep a teen safe. But rather than just handing over a phone, crossing fingers and hoping the bills aren't sky high, consider having your teen sign a usage contract.

"Contracts with adolescents are an excellent parenting approach because teens yearn to be treated as adults. These parents are not dictating cell phone usage but instead pulling their teenager into full agreement; he obtains the privilege of using a cell phone but only under certain conditions."

If the teen violates the conditions, he loses the phone for a predetermined time. A contract not only teaches the teen responsibility, but helps the parents keep cell phone costs under control.

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Labels: cell_phones, responsibility, safety

The 2004 U.S. Census seems to indicate that parents are taking parenting more seriously than in previous years. About 7 percent more parents set television restrictions for their teenagers in the 2004 census than did in census 10 years ago.

"How do TV restrictions translate into healthier families? By establishing such limits, parents show their children that they care about their development and help establish certain values for their households."

More parents also read to their younger children. Analysts believe the changes reflect parents' growing concern about the challenges and dangers their kids will face as they grow up. It also indicates that parents are beginning to realize that children who grow up in a strong, stable home are better equipped to live health, stable lives when they become adults.

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Labels: parenting_tips, responsibility, role_models

Many parents struggle with setting rules and sticking to them. Teenagers are excellent at pressuring parents to ease up on things like curfew and even punishments. But parents need to remember that they have a responsibility to help their kids navigate the troublesome teenage years - and rules are part of that navigation.

"...all kids know they need guidance from their parents. In fact, they want it. They're probably not going to admit that. To do so would be too much of a concession, too big of a blow to their youthful egos. They like the reassurance that comes with knowing there's somebody who cares for and looks after them.'

If you've set rules that you know are fair – stick to them. Be prepared for the pressure your teen will exert and the anger he may feel. Know that in the long run, you're doing what's right and what's best for your child.

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Labels: discipline, responsibility, rules

Parenting is never easy. Parenting alone can be especially difficult. Though there can be some benefits to being a single parent ("my house, my rules" - for example) there are a number of challenges as well, not the least of which revolve around money.

"Everyone should follow a budget, agrees Erika Penner, a financial planner in Richmond, B.C. Single parents can especially benefit, she says, since there's generally less money coming in and fewer tax-planning opportunities than for couples."

If possible, come to an agreement with your ex regarding how the children will be disciplined. Consistency, even in discipline, will give kids a greater sense of stability and security and keep them from trying to pit one parent against another.

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Labels: money, responsibility, single_parent

Karen is the mom of two teenage boys, and she struggles with finding the right balance between providing for her boys and spoiling them. She believes they need to experience the rewards that come from hard work.

"So when GD mentioned that he would like to get the new Metroid Prime game for the Wii, I said fine. How are you going to earn the money to buy it?... GD talked it over with his boss (i.e. his dad.) The hubs was no longer his father in this case, but was his boss. And if GD wanted to earn enough money to buy the game, he would have to do something in return. The hubs, er, the boss, told him that he could paint our shed for a set amount of money."

The shed painting didn't go well at first and Karen's son almost gave up. It was a hard lesson, for her son and for her, but one that's necessary for kids to truly thrive once they're out in the "real world."

Mount Bachelor Academy is a private high school in Central Oregon that offers an emotional growth program as part of their curriculum.

Labels: money, responsibility, working

A jury in suburban Chicago convicted Tara and Daniel Hutsell this week of endangering the life of a child and lying to police after two teenagers died in a car crash after attending a party at their home.

The Hutsells, both age 53, will be sentenced in September.

Both adults were home during a party hosted by their son. Two eighteen-year-old guests died when their car slammed into a tree. The driver was legally drunk, and the passenger had been smoking marijuana.

More and more states are passing laws that make parents legally responsible for the consequences of underage drinking in their homes, according to James Mosher, director of the Center for the Study of Law and Enforcement Policy. Mosher said he was unsure if the criminalization of parents would become a good way of preventing other such tragedies.

The parent of one of the boys at the party, Vicki Ettelson, disagreed.

"Parents cannot operate under the assumption that drinking occurs, and there's not a lot that we as parents can do about it," she said. "It's okay to say no."

Parents accept responsibility for their teen drivers every time their child gets behind the wheel. Learn the risks involved in this informative article: Parental Liability for Underage Drivers.

Labels: driving, liability, responsibility

Last week, AT&T announced a new service that will allow parents to set cell phone limits for their children. While most parents want their kids to have cell phones for safety reasons, they don't want kids being able to call and text at all hours of the day and night.

"The functions, ranging from call blocking and hour limits to text message and download allowances, will be set through a Web site. Calls to or from a parent's number can be made to override the restrictions, and calls to 911 can be made anytime."

The add-on feature is called Smart Limits and will cost $4.99 per month per line.

Through their equine therapy program and accredited academics, Aspen Ranch offers help for troubled teens.

Labels: cell_phones, responsibility, safety

Earning parents' trust and increased freedom is something that should happened gradually with a teenage child. While you don't want to hover - which can cause teens to start lying to and avoiding you - you do want to follow-up, especially at the beginning when trust is still being established.

"There are three principles parents need to understand about teen trust. The first: Trust must be earned. Teens earn trust by proving to the parents that they can be trusted to be where they say they will be, come home at the agreed-upon time, and always tell parents the truth. Parents start out allowing the teen to prove trustworthiness in baby steps. The first step might be going to a friend's house or the library after school."

If trust is broken, the teen has to start from the beginning, re-establishing his trustworthiness. Read more at AZStarNet.com.

Children and teens with ADD, Autism, and Asperger's Syndrome can often lack important social skills and need help from their teachers and families for clues on how they should behave. Learn how you can help at YourLittleProfessor.com.

Labels: communication, respect, responsibility

As children get older and develop a larger social circle, curfew often becomes an issue. Arguments over curfew are common in households with teenagers. If you've set a curfew and your teen wants it to be later, set up a system that allows him to get there.

"Pick a beginning curfew... Of course, your son will want it to be later. Tell him there is a way to get there and you are going to provide him with a map. If he honors the curfew for four months, then he will have earned an additional 15 minutes added to his curfew."

Of course, this "map" works in reverse as well. If your teen is late, the "earning period" starts all over again. Pick times and time periods that work for your family and use curfew as a way of teaching your teen how to set and achieve short-term goals. Read more at ParentingIdeas.com.

Labels: communication, parenting tips, responsibility

Teens who work during the school year are becoming increasingly common. The U.S. Census bureau reports that about 2.9 million teens hold down jobs while going to school. Becky O'Connor, career educator, believes jobs can teach valuable lessons.

"'Responsibility - just everything that goes along with being a good employee - they're certainly learning those on the job,' O'Connor said."

While the National Consumer's League advises against delivery or construction works, jobs that teach accountability and discipline will help prepare teens for the future. Read more online.

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Visit their website to learn more about Aspen Achievement Academy and how they create a modern "rite of passage" designed to assist adolescents in making the transition to responsible young adulthood.

Labels: accountability, jobs, responsibility

Most teenagers take on summer jobs so they've got some spending money. Others work year-round so they can both spend and save. If you teach your teenager how to manage money, he can develop good habits now that will benefit him for the rest of his life.

"Have them take the very first paycheck and... blow it... Here's why I suggest having them spend it: They get to experience the benefits of hard work and have some fun. After the first paycheck, here's how to handle every other paycheck, for the rest of their lives. I call this the 10 by 4 solution. With each and every paycheck, take 10 percent and put it in four different places."

Have them save, give away, pay off debt, and save for something specific with 10 percent of every paycheck. The remaining 60 percent can be used to pay off bills, spend going out with friends or going shopping for the latest fashion trends. Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Labels: money, responsibility, working

Cooking, cleaning, budgeting, grocery shopping... these are skills that every person needs to have if they're going to live productive lives. Helping your teen begin to learn these and other skills means they'll be better prepared to manage their own lives when they move out on their own.

"By the time your children are in high school, they should be doing for themselves a lot of the things you’ve been doing for them all of their lives."

If you haven't started teaching your teen to be self-sufficient, it's never too late. Simple things like grocery shopping are easy enough. Simply take your teenager with you. You can take her with you on lots of simple errands like picking up dry cleaning and taking your pets to the vet. Not only will this help her learn how to start doing these things on her own, but it provides great opportunities for deeper discussions. Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Labels: responsibility, role models, setting_examples