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"Our kids learn honesty as well as dishonesty mostly from us. So my only big rule on however you choose to answer is this: 'Never - ever - lie or deceive thy child.' Doing so only breaks down trust with your child and sends a very wrong message."Telling the truth doesn't mean you have to tell everything; it doesn't mean that you have tell anything. Consider the child's age and developmental stage and answer honestly, but appropriately. Source: Parenting Secrets
Labels: communication, honesty, respect
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:12 AM
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"Yes, you will get the 'eye roll'; yes, you will get the 'I don't believe you are actually doing this to me'; yes, your teen might be upset. But, in a private moment years hence, when reflecting on his or her teenage years, your child might say, 'Well, yes, my parents embarrassed me at the time, but I certainly knew they cared about my well-being. My friends' parents didn't check up on them; they thought I was the lucky one.'"Though boundaries can be hard to set (and even harder to defend); though your insistence that they 'check in' might cause tension, you're letting your kids know that you care and you're helping them grow into the adults they're meant to become. Read more at JewishJournal.com
Labels: parents, respect, role_models
posted by ByParents-forParents at 12:25 PM
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"More often than not, when we complain that our teenagers won't talk to us, what we are really saying is, 'My teenager won't listen to me.' In order to make a connection with your teen, the conversation has to be two-sided with mutual respect. Wait until they've completely finished telling you something before jumping in with advice or an opinion."Parents also have a tendency to react first and listen later. If your teen is telling you something that troubles you, let him finish his story first. Be thankful that he's telling you at all! And temper your response so that he feels comfortable confiding in you in the future.
Labels: communication, parenting_tips, respect
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:19 PM
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"This Parent's Bill of Rights and Responsibilities was created by a group of parents, educators, counselors, law enforcement personnel, and an assortment of community leaders - collectively known as the Tri-City Substance Abuse Coalition - in response to questions and concerns expressed by parents in their community."The list includes such things as "the right to be treated with respect" and "the right to demonstrate we care by occasionally verifying or spot checking our children's whereabouts." Though this Bill of Rights may not be integrated into the Constitution, it nevertheless serves as a reminder to both parent and child that the parent has certain "unalienable rights" - regardless of the child's age.
Labels: communication, respect, rights
posted by ByParents-forParents at 6:16 PM
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"'Be careful when you lay down the rules so as not to embarrass your daughter,' say panelist Rochelle Freedman. She suggests you talk to your daughter first and warn her you plan to discuss her friends' bad language with them."Other experts suggest using humor to make the conversation less awkward.
Labels: communication, respect, rules
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:54 PM
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"There are three principles parents need to understand about teen trust. The first: Trust must be earned. Teens earn trust by proving to the parents that they can be trusted to be where they say they will be, come home at the agreed-upon time, and always tell parents the truth. Parents start out allowing the teen to prove trustworthiness in baby steps. The first step might be going to a friend's house or the library after school."If trust is broken, the teen has to start from the beginning, re-establishing his trustworthiness. Read more at AZStarNet.com.
Labels: communication, respect, responsibility
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:43 AM
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"...contrary to popular belief, the main reason that children today talk back to their parents is not because of something that parents are doing wrong – but because of something they are doing right. Over the past couple of generations, there has been a revolution in parenting practices – harsh forms of punishment are not longer considered acceptable."The elimination of harsher forms of punishment ("the switch" or hard smacks across the face) means that kids aren't scared of their parents. But it also means they're likely to be more sensitive to the suffering of others. One of the best ways a parent can respond when a teen talks back is to not respond. If you ask a question and get a sarcastic response ask the question again, and keep asking until you get a response that's appropriate.
Labels: punishment, pushovers, respect
posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:30 PM
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