News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Setting rules about the type of language and behavior that's allowed is every parent's right. Such boundaries also benefit the teens that have to follow them, so long as it's handled appropriately.

"'Be careful when you lay down the rules so as not to embarrass your daughter,' say panelist Rochelle Freedman. She suggests you talk to your daughter first and warn her you plan to discuss her friends' bad language with them."

Other experts suggest using humor to make the conversation less awkward.

Labels: communication, rules, respect

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They've been given various names throughout the generations, but today they're called "helicopter parents" - parents who "hover" over their kids' every move and sweep in for the rescue when something goes wrong.

"But two child experts told CNN that parents should aim to empower their children to do things on their own. 'Parenting should be increasingly in the background as the child gets older,' said Vivian Friedman, child-adolescent psychologist at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. 'If you do for your child for too long, they never learn to do for themselves.'"

Children need to learn from mistakes - like forgetting their costume for the school play's dress rehearsal. While parents may feel cruel for not coming to their child's rescue, it would be far more cruel for the children never to learn how to cope with mistakes or failures. Source: CNN

Labels: responsibility, independence, respect

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It's true; kids do say the darnedest things. But sometimes those things are embarrassing questions about their parents' past lives. What's the best way to respond if a child asks whether you drank or had sex before you got married?

"Our kids learn honesty as well as dishonesty mostly from us. So my only big rule on however you choose to answer is this: 'Never - ever - lie or deceive thy child.' Doing so only breaks down trust with your child and sends a very wrong message."

Telling the truth doesn't mean you have to tell everything; it doesn't mean that you have tell anything. Consider the child's age and developmental stage and answer honestly, but appropriately. Source: Parenting Secrets

Programs for troubled teens can help the troubled teenager as well as the entire family. Located in Escalante, Utah, Turn-About Ranch is teen ranch camp that puts families back together.

Labels: communication, respect, honesty

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Parents of teenagers rarely feel heroic. And most of the time, kids' attitudes towards parents and rules enhances a parent's non-heroic feelings. But parenting teens is tough, deserves some recognition, and will benefit kids in the long run.

"Yes, you will get the 'eye roll'; yes, you will get the 'I don't believe you are actually doing this to me'; yes, your teen might be upset. But, in a private moment years hence, when reflecting on his or her teenage years, your child might say, 'Well, yes, my parents embarrassed me at the time, but I certainly knew they cared about my well-being. My friends' parents didn't check up on them; they thought I was the lucky one.'"

Though boundaries can be hard to set (and even harder to defend); though your insistence that they 'check in' might cause tension, you're letting your kids know that you care and you're helping them grow into the adults they're meant to become. Read more at JewishJournal.com

Old fashioned values are the core part of Turn-About Ranch's programs for troubled teens. Through equine assisted therapy, traditional therapy, and hard work, troubled teens work through their issues to turn around their lives. Visit www.turnaboutranch.com to learn more.

Labels: parents, role_models, respect

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Having a real conversation with your teenager isn't always easy. In fact, it's almost never easy! Teens and parents live in different realities and their communication reflects that. Here are some tips for "getting on the same page" with your teen.

"More often than not, when we complain that our teenagers won't talk to us, what we are really saying is, 'My teenager won't listen to me.' In order to make a connection with your teen, the conversation has to be two-sided with mutual respect. Wait until they've completely finished telling you something before jumping in with advice or an opinion."

Parents also have a tendency to react first and listen later. If your teen is telling you something that troubles you, let him finish his story first. Be thankful that he's telling you at all! And temper your response so that he feels comfortable confiding in you in the future.

Copper Canyon Academy, a girls boarding school, offers a nuturing, structured environment for troubled teenage girls.

Labels: parenting_tips, communication, respect

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Sometimes, as a parent, it feels as though your rights concerning your kids have all but vanished - especially when the kids become teenagers. Where, before, questions about friends and activities were answered without much fuss, your kids become teens and suddenly those questions make you the bad guy. In response to this inevitable switch, a group from California put together the Parents Bill of Rights and Responsibilities.

"This Parent's Bill of Rights and Responsibilities was created by a group of parents, educators, counselors, law enforcement personnel, and an assortment of community leaders - collectively known as the Tri-City Substance Abuse Coalition - in response to questions and concerns expressed by parents in their community."

The list includes such things as "the right to be treated with respect" and "the right to demonstrate we care by occasionally verifying or spot checking our children's whereabouts." Though this Bill of Rights may not be integrated into the Constitution, it nevertheless serves as a reminder to both parent and child that the parent has certain "unalienable rights" - regardless of the child's age.

Labels: communication, respect, rights

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Earning parents' trust and increased freedom is something that should happened gradually with a teenage child. While you don't want to hover - which can cause teens to start lying to and avoiding you - you do want to follow-up, especially at the beginning when trust is still being established.

"There are three principles parents need to understand about teen trust. The first: Trust must be earned. Teens earn trust by proving to the parents that they can be trusted to be where they say they will be, come home at the agreed-upon time, and always tell parents the truth. Parents start out allowing the teen to prove trustworthiness in baby steps. The first step might be going to a friend's house or the library after school."

If trust is broken, the teen has to start from the beginning, re-establishing his trustworthiness. Read more at AZStarNet.com.

Children and teens with ADD, Autism, and Asperger's Syndrome can often lack important social skills and need help from their teachers and families for clues on how they should behave. Learn how you can help at YourLittleProfessor.com.

Labels: responsibility, communication, respect

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"Whatever, Mom." "Yeah right, Dad, I'm not cleaning the kitchen, it's Brad's turn!" Teens talking back has become more common in this latest generation of adolescents. Many parenting experts point the finger at the parents, citing an inability to gain the proper respect.

"...contrary to popular belief, the main reason that children today talk back to their parents is not because of something that parents are doing wrong  but because of something they are doing right. Over the past couple of generations, there has been a revolution in parenting practices  harsh forms of punishment are not longer considered acceptable."

The elimination of harsher forms of punishment ("the switch" or hard smacks across the face) means that kids aren't scared of their parents. But it also means they're likely to be more sensitive to the suffering of others. One of the best ways a parent can respond when a teen talks back is to not respond. If you ask a question and get a sarcastic response ask the question again, and keep asking until you get a response that's appropriate.

Read more at TheGlobeandMail.com.

Labels: punishment, respect, pushovers

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