News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

In Escaping the Endless Adolescence, his new book about teenagers, University of Virginia professor Dr. Joe Allen reports that worrying about what their peer group thinks when they're 13 years old is not necessarily a bad thing, but it depends upon how they handle such pressure.

• Dr. Allen studied children for 10 years starting at ages 12 and 13.
• If a child simply did not care what the other children thought of him, he or she was less likely to succeed socially and academically.
• Children who did not care about their peers' and parents' opinions of them had grade point averages almost a full grade lower than others in the study.

The children who fared the best by age 23 years old were the ones who knew how to negotiate and discuss issues with their peers at age 13 years, Dr. Allen noted, instead of just blindly following the group norms.

• These people could work well with others, presenting and negotiating for their points of view without losing their tempers.
  
• By age 23 years, they were more likely to be successful, in healthy romantic relationships and free of problems with alcohol or other drugs.
  

Allen said that being able to stand up to a friend in a way that preserves the friendship was what predicted future success.

Labels: peer_pressure

Teenagers are more prone to take risks and act rashly around their friends because their brains are underdeveloped, according to a new study from Temple University. The study was small, but the results were intriguing.

Dr. Jason Chein connected nine students ages 15 to 19 years old and eight adults ages 20 to 28 years to MRI machines in order to monitor their brain activity as they performed two tasks. The first task was to blow up balloons as big as possible without breaking them; the second was to drive a simulated car without crashing it.

When the teenagers performed the tasks in front of same-sex peers, they took more risks, and thereby crashed more cars and broke more balloons. The teenagers' brains showed enhanced activities in certain areas that handle social and emotional information whenever they performed before an audience. The adults' brains did not show these activities.

Dr. Chein believes that since the human brain's control network does not fully develop until a person reaches the early 20s, teenagers are more likely to take risks and are more sensitive to emotional and social influences than adults.

This study was presented at the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience.

Labels: peer_pressure, risky_behavior

You've eagerly awaited all the of your child's "firsts" - first step, first word, first day of school. But now there's a new first: the first boyfriend. And you don't like him.

Perhaps you've heard rumors about him using drugs or alcohol, or that he's a poor student. Or maybe you know nothing about him, but you dislike his parents. It's even possible that you hadn't formed an opinion until you met him - but when you did, you came away with a negative impression.

Teen dating is full of promise, but is often accompanied by a certain amount of parental anxiety. It's important to try to put things into perspective when it comes to your child's current squeeze, though. Remember, if you don't like him, you can take heart in knowing that the vast majority of teen relationships don't last.

How you can help
If you don't like the boy your daughter is dating, take a step back and consider why this might be so. Unless you have proof of him being involved with drugs, alcohol, or other wrongdoing, or he is more than a year or two older than your daughter (or she is too young to date at all), it's probably best not to forbid your child from seeing him.

Dating a variety of people gives your child important learning experiences, such as socially appropriate behavior, cooperation skills, interdependence, and companionship. It is crucial practice for developing an intimate, meaningful, and lasting relationship later in life.

If you are especially concerned about who your daughter is associating with, begin a discussion by asking her what she sees in her new flame, and what she wants from the relationship. Listen to what she has to say, and take your cues from her words.

For example, perhaps she feels pressured by peers, or by the boy himself, to enter into a more serious relationship than what she really wants. If that is the case, help her to develop a stronger sense of self-esteem and better self-image, so that she is capable of standing up for what she believes, and is less likely of being influenced by peer pressure.

If she does appear to be madly in love with this boy, express your concerns and share your wisdom in a caring and supportive way. Remind her that being involved in a serious relationship changes life in many ways. It can tie her down, affect her studies and grades, and take time away from other friendships.

Invite the boy over so that you can get to know him, and perhaps find something to like about him. Most likely, he's not as bad as you think. And even if he is, if you've established a strong bond with your daughter, you can keep the lines of communication open with her and help her to make the right decisions.

Related article: Dating the Dangerous Boy

Labels: dating, influences, peer_pressure

Peer pressure is a part of life for teenagers and adults. But because teens are trying to develop their sense of self, they are far more influenced by both positive and negative peer pressure.

"As a parent, you can help your child overcome such negative peer pressure. Step one is to help build your teen's self-confidence and positive self-image. Your goal is to lessen criticism while looking for positive accomplishments and chances to praise jobs well done."

Take a genuine interest in your teen's life. Do more than just ask what he's interested in - ask why. Strong family relationships will help teenagers resist negative peer pressure, so create a schedule that allows family members to spend time together eating dinner, playing games, and really getting to know each other. Source: American Counseling Association

Labels: influences, peer_pressure, self-esteem

Teens who believe that others like them and feel good about their level of social acceptance are more likely to be well-adjusted, even if they are not popular in the traditional sense, according to a new study from the University of Virginia.

On the other hand, teens who do not feel socially accepted and whom peers rate as unpopular tend to become more withdrawn, hostile, and less sought out over time.

Researchers interviewed 164 teens at age 13 and then again a year later, asking them to rate themselves and their peers in terms of likeability and popularity.

"Perceiving oneself to be liked may actually be at least as critical in determining future social outcomes for teens as actually being liked," said Dr. Kathleen McElhaney, lead author of the study, which appears in Child Development.

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome may have a hard time getting along with peers and classmates. An all girls school geared for girls with ADHD and Aspergers, like New Leaf Academy, can help.

Labels: acceptance, peer_pressure, perceptions

Marketing firms spend millions of dollars every year pushing products of every kind to pre-teens and teenagers. And, as materialism continues to increase in kids, the marketing appears to be working. But are the ad agencies really to blame?

"In her recent paper 'Growing Up in a Material World...' in the December 2007 issue of the Journal of Consumer Research, [Deborah Roedder] John and co-author Lan Nguyen Chaplin... report the results of two studies conducted with children in three age groups. In the first study, they found that materialism increases from middle childhood (8 and 9 years old) to early adolescence (12 and 13 years old) but then declines by the end of high school (16 to 18 years old). This mirrors patterns in self-esteem, which instead decreases in early adolescence but increases in late adolescence."

The results from this and a second study conducted by John and Chaplin both indicate that materialism in young people is directly tied to their self esteem. The more confident they are, the less materialistic. The results give a clear indication for parents that more emphasis should be placed on helping kids developing a healthy self-esteem and less on helping them develop their wardrobe.

Labels: influences, money, peer_pressure