News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Contrary to popular belief, having children lowers your blood pressure, according to a new study
published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine.

• Researchers from the University of Utah monitored the blood pressure levels of 198 adults ages 20 to 68 years old three times an hour over a 24-hour period.
  
• The ones who had children had lower readings, regardless of the ages of their offspring.

The fact that there was no difference between parents of young children and adult children suggests that blood pressure readings reflect something about the people who choose to be parents, rather than the day to day experience of being a parent, said Thomas Kamarck, a psychiatry professor at the University of Pittsburgh.

Labels: health, parents

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Social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter can create unique and positive connections among family members. But consider yourselves warned, parents: There are some things your children dont want to read about -- and they may not react in the best ways when they do.

A Sept. 20 article in the "Family and Relationship" blog on the website of the British newspaper The Globe and Mail provides one such example:

Erini Shields had a sneaking suspicion her single mom, Donna, had started dating when the 54-year-old mentioned going out for motorcycle rides with a male friend.

Her thoughts were confirmed last Tuesday when one of her mother's Facebook status updates caught her eye.

What an awesome ride on the harley! Such a beautiful day. Even had time for some couch olympics....Erin, don't read that last part :)

The younger Ms. Shields, who lives in Chicago, expressed her horror through her blog and Twitter account moments later:

GROSS! GROSSGROSSGROSS!!! mom's talking about "couch olympics" with her new boyfriend on facebook!! EWEWEW EEEWWWWWW!!!!!

The wise use of social networking sites can be a good thing for parents and children -- but as the Shields' story indicates, not all online communication is good online communication (a fact that all online social networkers would be wise to keep in mind).

Labels: social-networking, parents, communication

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Mothers of autistic children are under more stress than are mothers of developmentally disabled children, according to a new study from the University of Washington.

Processor Annette Estes compared 51 mothers of children with autism to 22 mothers whose children had developmental delay. All the children in the study were about three years old. Although many of the developmentally delayed children needed high levels of care, the study indicated that the autistic children caused their parents more psychological stress.

"If a child has more needs in getting dressed and in other daily living skills that means the parents are working harder and seemingly would be under stress," Dr. Estes wrote. "But it is not the hard work that is stressing the mothers. Our findings really pointed to the behavioral problems that can occur with autism. Children with autism had significantly higher levels of problem behaviors than children with developmental delays."

This study appeared in the journal Autism.

Labels: autism, mothers, parents

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Children of parents who have depression and/or anxiety disorders are at high risk for such problems, too. However, two new studies found that therapy could break the generational cycle.

Dr. Judy Garber of Vanderbilt University studied 316 teenagers whose parents had depression in the past or who were currently depressed.

• Half went into weekly group therapy with others their age and the other group had only usual care.
• Almost a third of the group that had usual care developed depression, while only 21 percent of the other group became depressed.
• However, the success rate of the program depended partly on whether the parents were depressed when the interventions began.
• If the parents were actively depressed, the teens were more likely to become depressed during the study period.

"Were we surprised? No. There is evidence in the literature that kids don't respond as well to treatment if the parent is depressed," said Dr. Garber, whose study appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

For the second study, researchers from Johns Hopkins Children's Center studied 40 children whose parents had anxiety disorders.

• The children in the study were between the ages of seven and 12.
• These parents attended therapy to recognize when they were being overly anxious or overly protective toward their children.
• After one year, none of the children developed anxiety disorders -- but 30 percent in a control group did.

The Johns Hopkins study appeared in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.

Labels: depression, parents, research, anxiety

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Teenagers often have mentors. They may not be referred to by this term, but typically there is a coach, teacher or parent of a friend whom your teenager will admire. If you join forces, this person can be a valuable ally during the teen years.

"Sometimes kids can hear better when the words that are spoken are not coming from their own parents' lips. Adolescents who disregard their parents' point of view on principle can sometimes absorb an adult voice of reason when that voice is not genetically akin to their own."

While you want to accept adult friends in your teenager's life, you also want to pay attention to how your teen is being influenced. You want to be sure the influence is positive and is moving your teen in the right direction.

Source: Poughkeepsie Journal

Labels: teens, parenting, teenagers, parents, mentoring

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As a child nears legal driving age, there are many options for learning how to drive: professional driving school, on-line classes, a book, or mom and dad. The do-it-yourself option appeals to a lot of parents.

"Many parents have opted to take on the responsibility of teaching their own teen to drive, and the reasons for doing it can be as varied as the families themselves. Besides scheduling, many parents find the cost of local driving schools prohibitive."

Driving schools can cost hundreds of dollars, which is not a reasonable expense for some families. Parents who have taught their children advise adapting your approach to suit the learning styles of the young driver. Source: Abilene (TX) Reporter-News

Labels: driving, parents, teaching

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Many parents of adolescents relish the thought of being "empty-nesters." And while there are good (and great) things about this stage of life, there are difficult aspects as well:

"When your major identity is no longer 'parent,' you may struggle to know exactly who you are. In the past your social life centered around your children's activities; now you may struggle just to be a couple again. Or perhaps you're no longer sure you know (or even like) that other bird in the nest. But there is hope."

Surveys have shown that marital satisfaction increases when a husband and wife make a conscious effort to reconnect with each other after the kids are gone. Rather than filling time with more and different activities, spend time doing things together. Getting to know each other again takes time and may feel awkward in the beginning, but it really can be like a "second honeymoon." Source: LifeWay

Labels: parents, relationships, lonlieness

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A report from Duke University indicates that today's young people are slightly better off than their parents in seven categories of well-being.

The 2008 Child and Youth Well-Being Index Project found a 2 percent increase in well-being from 1975 to 2005, in terms of economic well-being, health, safety and behavior, education, community connectedness, social relationships, and emotional and spiritual well-being. The only two categories to decline were community connectedness and social relationships.

However, today's teens are more likely to be overweight and live below the poverty line. They score higher on math and reading tests, have lower rates of accidental deaths, are more likely to be in school, and are less likely to abuse alcohol and drugs as compared to their parents' generation.

Labels: children, parents, well-being

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A frustrated teen wrote to Dear Abby in search of advice on how to deal with her mother, who monitors her actions so closely that she won't even let her daughter close her bedroom door. Mom has no reason to mistrust her daughter, the girl wrote, noting that she is in the top two percent of her class in school and is heavily involved in extracurricular activities.

Abby sided with the teenager:

"While I'm all for conscientious parenting, it appears your mom has gone over the top.. Is your father in the picture? If so, talk to him about the situation."

Abby suggested that the teenager also talk to a female relative or the mother of a close friend, and ask them to talk to her mom as well. The mom, Abby wrote, needs to realize that exerting too much control may simply drives her child away. Source: Fox23.com

Labels: parents, independence, control

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Parents of teenagers rarely feel heroic. And most of the time, kids' attitudes towards parents and rules enhances a parent's non-heroic feelings. But parenting teens is tough, deserves some recognition, and will benefit kids in the long run.

"Yes, you will get the 'eye roll'; yes, you will get the 'I don't believe you are actually doing this to me'; yes, your teen might be upset. But, in a private moment years hence, when reflecting on his or her teenage years, your child might say, 'Well, yes, my parents embarrassed me at the time, but I certainly knew they cared about my well-being. My friends' parents didn't check up on them; they thought I was the lucky one.'"

Though boundaries can be hard to set (and even harder to defend); though your insistence that they 'check in' might cause tension, you're letting your kids know that you care and you're helping them grow into the adults they're meant to become. Read more at JewishJournal.com

Old fashioned values are the core part of Turn-About Ranch's programs for troubled teens. Through equine assisted therapy, traditional therapy, and hard work, troubled teens work through their issues to turn around their lives. Visit www.turnaboutranch.com to learn more.

Labels: parents, role_models, respect

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Second-hand smoke can affect more than a child's health. A recently published study found that it also significantly affected academic performance.

UK students take O-level (ordinary level) and A-level (advanced level) exams at 16 to 18 years of age to test their knowledge of various subjects. The researchers found that students who had at least one parent smoking in the home were 30 percent less likely to pass their O levels. Teens who smoked one to nine cigarettes a week were 45 percent more likely to fail, while those who smoked 10 or more cigarettes weekly were at a 67 percent increased risk of failing this exam."

The study was conducted on over 6,300 kids and also found that, though prenatal smoking causes other health risks, it didn't affect academic performance at all.

Copper Canyon Academy is a boarding high school for girls in Arizona that offers accredited academics and therapy.

Labels: health, parents, smoking

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Teens who learned to drive from their parents, relatives or other non-professional instructors are 50 percent more likely to get into an injury accident, according to a study by the Texas Transportation Institute.

Researchers looked at the records of 1.4 million drivers under age 18. Those drivers who were taught by anyone other than a professional instructor were more likely to be involved in a serious injury accident. Before 1997, all Texas drivers had to have professional training.

Would you like to help your child or teen with Asperger's to achieve success in school? Read "Achieving Success in School Settings for Children and Teens with Aspergers Syndrome".

Labels: driving, teenagers, parents

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State lawmakers in Illinois are pushing for higher fines and prison time for parents who provide teenagers with alcohol and a place to drink it. Parents who allow their teens and their friends a place to party will face tougher penalties if state representatives and police agencies get their way.

"'It's not acceptable for parents to allow teenagers to break the law in their own homes,' said state Sen. Susan Garrett, a Lake Forest Democrat and mother of two. 'Parents might think that as long as teenagers are at home, they're in a safe environment. But there's nothing to keep those teens from leaving, there's nothing to keep them off the roads.'"

Throughout the state, and the country, high profile alcohol-related deaths involving teens who have been given alcohol by adults has brought the issue to the forefront. Read more online from the Daily Herald.

Labels: alcohol, parents, laws

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"Problem children" adversely affect their parents' health and well-being for decades, according to a study from Purdue University. Issues such as teen and young adult substance abuse, relationship problems including divorce, encounters with the legal system, psychiatric disorders, and poor academic and career performance can carry over into adulthood, and cause their parents to have mental health issues of their own for years.

• Professor Karen Fingerman and her colleagues surveyed 633 parents of 1251 grown children, comparing them to their peers in terms of education, career and relationships.
• Those parents who had adult children still struggling with legal or relationship problems or substance abuse and other serious issues had parents with poorer mental health, even if the "problem child's" siblings were successful.

"The reason these problems affect parents is because the parents are still invested in their grown children," Dr. Fingerman said. Some parents also view their children as extensions of themselves and believe if their child fails, they fail too.

"Parents .... may not be able to do anything to make it better," Dr. Fingerman said, "or they may be trying to help the grown child, which taxes their own financial resources or time."

This study was presented before the annual convention of the American Psychological Association.

Labels: parents, mental_health

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