By Parents For Parents

The By Parents For Parents Blog is regularly updated with the latest news and information on topics that relate to parenting teenagers. We'll post parenting advice and tips from trusted online news sources and expert parenting columns.

We invite you to add your comments. Please let us know if you would like some specific topics covered, want to share your experience as a parent dealing with teens, or just have general feedback on the By Parents For Parents Blog.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Responding to Manipulation

As kids grow up and begin to develop their sense of personal identity and independence, they're more likely to challenge their parents about things like curfew, the friends they hang out with, and their general activities. They also start learning how to tell parents what they want to hear and get what they want at the same time. In other words - they begin to master the art of manipulation.

"One of the very best defenses against manipulation is to let your 'yes' mean 'yes' and let your 'no' mean 'no'. If you say no at first, and your teen keeps asking you and asking you over and over, and then you give in and say yes, you have taught them that your no does not mean no."

A parent who determines that it's time for "no" to mean "no" again needs to be prepared for some repercussions. Teens will push back, possibly harder than before, in an attempt to revert mom and dad back to their old patters. But stand firm, and in time your teen will adjust to the new "balance of power".

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Labels: parenting_tips, independence, manipulation

Posted By: Aspen Education Group 1 Comment

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Shift of Power

Kids often begin exerting pressure for more freedom when they hit their early teens, or very late pre-teens (11 or 12-years-old). The pressure inevitably increases tensions between parent and child, causing parents to want to throw their hands up in frustration.

"Many parents wish that children would be perfectly compliant until they graduate from high school. This is not how parenting works. It's a gradual turnover of power and control from the parent to the child. Your child is pushing for more control, so look for areas in her life where she can grasp it without jeopardizing her health and well-being."

Instead of allowing her to stay out later, increase the amount of time she can be on-line or on the phone. Let her take a school-chaperoned trip that will satisfy her desire for adventure. This is a crucial time in a child's life; parents need to be as engaged with their kids as ever.

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Labels: independence, manipulation, power

Posted By: Aspen Education Group 0 Comments

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Responding to Manipulation

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Shift of Power