News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

A woman recently wrote to an advice columnist, asking what she should do about her friend's daughter, who drinks, smokes and gets into "all sorts of trouble." The girl's mother doesnt seem to have a clue about what her daughter is doing. Should the woman say anything to her friend?

"I suspect your friend already knows about her daughter's destructive behavior," the columnist advised, "but if you truly believe she doesn't have a clue, then I believe she should be enlightened, as this is about her daughter's welfare. Whoever approaches your friend must be prepared for anger, tears, and denial."

This is a hard conversation for any parent to have, and should be handled gently. If you need to talk to a parent about her daughter's behavior, try to keep the conversation from getting too negative. Acknowledge the daughter's good traits as well, express genuine concern about her decisions, and give the parent time to respond.

Source: The Province (Canada)

Labels: teenagers, parental-involvement, girls, involment, interferring

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There seems to be increasing concern among parents about teenage, co-ed sleepovers. They are more common now than ever before, and many parents are unsure how to respond.

"Experts say there's a quick way for parents to solve these and other sleepover dilemmas: Examine your values and do what makes you most comfortable. And if that means giving a big, fat 'no' to any co-ed sleepover arrangement, feel free to ignore the ensuing arguments, emotional blackmail and whining..."

Ultimately, the parent is still the parent and doesn't have to agree to anything she doesn't feel is in the best interest of her child. Source: Cowichan Valley Citizen (British Columbia, Canada)

Labels: sex, values, involment

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There aren't many of them out there, maybe one in every neighborhood: a house where teens feel comfortable congregating and hanging out. The parents in that house often benefit as much as the kids do.

"That pays off in the parents knowing their kids' friends, and the kids telling their parents what they're up to [Dr. Scott] Wooding says... Wooding says gaining that kind of rapport with your teenagers and their friends isn't rocket science."

Just take an interest in what's going on in their lives; ask questions and be willing to listen to the answers. Having a few extra snacks around helps, too! Source: The Calgary Herald

Labels: communication, relationships, involment

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In the PBS special presentation "Growing Up Online", viewers get a look inside the very private online worlds that kids are able to create for themselves these days. It's a growing trend that leaves parents struggling to keep up with their children's lives.

"As more and more kids begin to grow up online, parents are finding themselves on the outside looking in, struggling to remain relevant and engaged in their kids' lives. 'I remember being 11; I remember being 13; I remember being 16, and I remember having secrets,' one mother says. 'But it's really hard when it's on the other side.'"

Danah Boyd, a fellow at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard Law School reminds parents that things like MySpace and Facebook can't just be turned off. Parents have to learn how to live in a society where these things exist, and teach their kids how to live in it as well. Read more at IndianaLawBlog.com.

Worried that your child is struggling with internet addiction? Visit Video-Game-Addiction.org for signs of computer addiction and what you can do to help your child.

Labels: internet, online_safety, involment

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Jennifer Cole is so busy trying to keep up with her five boys that she admits she doesn't have much time to worry about what they're watching on TV. She feels that the time she spends talking with them about real life verses television life is enough to keep TV's influence to a minimum. Some experts agree.

"While [Elizabeth] Berger, a child psychologist, believes that TV violence and sexuality are not constructive for children, she said there is too much of a tendency to blame TV rather than adult society. When children aren't spoken to about violence, she said, it could present a problem."

Dr. Don Shifrin, co-chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Communications Council agrees, saying it's important for parents to talk to their kids about the things they watch on television because most TV violence is "sanitized." Read more at KCRA.com.

Labels: tv, communication, involment

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Few teens are completely honest with their parents, though most parents think their teens tell them everything. In reality, few teenagers feel comfortable being upfront with their parents about issues like sex or alcohol.

"Alcohol, drugs, sex - all have huge negative consequences and cannot be condoned. But since most teens are experimenting with one or more of these things, parents who form an open, loving dialogue with their teen, while setting clear boundaries, have the best chance of being a positive influence."

It's up to parents to establish an open dialogue with their kids and help them talk about and handle subjects that can be both intense and awkward. An open dialogue won't ensure that your kid doesn't make any mistakes, but it increases your chances of being called upon to help when mistakes are made. Read more at AuburnJournal.com.

A good private boarding school can offer smaller classes which will better prepare your child for college. The Academy at Swift River is a private boarding school that offers teens a balanced program of accredited academics and extra-curricular activities.

Labels: influences, communication, involment

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It's common nowadays for family members to see very little of each other. Parents are both working, kids are at school and involved in extracurricular activities. Time together is rare. But the absence of family time can lead to dangerous behavior among teens.

"The constant togetherness means young people are, for all practical purposes, raising each other. It's not just that what their peers think carries more weight than what Mom and Dad think. It's that many teenagers spend so little time with their families that they don't really know what Mom and Dad think."

As a result, teens are much more "tethered to each other" than generations past. Where one goes, the others will follow, even if the direction is not good. Read more at News.Cincinnati.com.

Boarding schools that create a positive peer culture help teens by encouraging emotional growth and self expression. Find the best boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: influences, involment, independence

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The information age is giving some parents the ability to track their kids' school performance. Several schools in the Chicago area have begun using electronic grade books that both students and parents can access online. It's an ability that most kids appreciate, as long as the parent doesn't get too carried away.

"The challenge for parents lies in keeping their children focused, but also encouraging them to take responsibility for their own grades, said Lee Shumow, a Northern Illinois University professor of adolescent development. It's important for adolescents to start developing autonomy, she said."

Many students are taking initiative and tracking their own grades, which gives them the opportunity to monitor their performance and make necessary improvements. The program, called Pinnacle Internet Viewer, was developed by Colorado-based software company Excelsior Software.

A good private college prep school, like Mount Bachelor Academy in Oregon, helps students with academics as well personal growth.

Labels: school, involment, grades

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In DeKalb County, Illinois, the Youth Services Bureau is launching a six-week program based on Dr. Michael Popkin's book "Active Parenting for Teens". The program is designed to help parents better understand their teenage children and offer suggestions for communicating, setting rules and boundaries, and more.

"As part of the six-week program, the parents discuss various topics such as improving a teenagers self esteem, parenting styles for dealing with a teenager, disciplining a teenager and becoming more involved in a teenager's life. Trisha McKendry, coordinator for the Active Parenting of Teens program, said they also discuss other issues such as drug use, sexual activity, and alcohol consumption among teenagers."

Some parents who participate in the program sign up on their own; others are referred through DeKalb social services programs. The program is getting great feedback. Parents have said they are able to really talk to their teens, enforce rules and curfews without explosive arguments, and show their love and affection in ways their teens understand. Read more at MidWeekNews.com.

Labels: communication, arguments, involment

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