News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

In recent days, MySpace has been in the news again. A federal grand jury indicted a mother whom they say played a cruel hoax - via MySpace - on a 13-year-old girl that resulted in the girl's suicide. Stories like this feed the fears many parents have about social networking sites and the Internet in general.

"Experts warn that taking MySpace away just makes the site all the more seductive for today's tech-savvy kids, who find a workaround. Also, cybersyping driven by fear of MySpace, rather than a child's bad behavior, can break the trust between a parent and child and create a rift in their relationship."

Instead, child psychologists and others recommend that parents set clear rules around Internet use, including consequences for breaking rules. Put the family computer in a common room where activity can't be hidden, and keep communication open so your child knows that she can come to you if something negative happens. Source: MSNBC

Therapeutic boarding schools, like Youth Care in Draper, Utah, help teens deal with their emotions and behaviors while they earn school credits.

Labels: internet, myspace, safety

It used to be that parents worried about what their kids were doing on their computers. Now, many parents are beginning to wonder what their kids are doing on their cell phones. Now that most cell phones offer Internet access, the Web is available just about everywhere.

"Among teens, there is a strong demand for text messaging and email on cell phones. Now they want additional features, too, says Chris Collins, a senior analyst with Yankee Group. In a survey, 26% of teens said that having Internet access was a must-have feature for the next phone they bought..."

Many cell phone carriers offer options that allow parents to control how much access kids have to the Internet. Some service plans enable parents to block certain types of websites, or block Internet access altogether. Source: The Wall Street Journal

Worried that your teen is becoming addicted to the Internet? Check out Video-Game-Addiction.org to learn more.

Labels: cell_phones, internet, safety

Cyberbullying is not a new phrase to many parents. But a recent story from Washington State puts it back in the spotlight. A Web site invites teens to anonymously post gossip about anyone they'd like - and name names - whether the gossip is true or not.

"This recent example presents a teachable moment, however, that educators, students leaders and parents should seize. For many families, it's a two-way opportunity. Parents may have as much to learn about the various ways their children are communicating these days as they can teach about doing so responsibly."

Cyberbullying is a growing problem that occurs not only on "gossip sites" but also in personal blogs, e-mails, instant messages, and even cell phone text messages. With so many different forms of communication available, parents have the tough job of teaching their kids how to use them all respectfully and responsibly. Read more at HeraldNet.com.

Labels: cyberbulling, internet, online_safety

Today's teens spend an average of 30 hours per week on "screen time," and a third of teens spend over 40 hours, according to a new Canadian study.

"Screen time" is time spent using computers, playing video games, or watching television.

Researchers questioned 1,293 Montreal 7th graders over a five-year period in a study funded by the National Cancer Institute of Canada. They found:

• 60% of teens spend at least 20 hours a week in front of screens.


• 52% of boys and 26% of girls report at least 42 hours per week.


• 7% report 50 hours or more.


• Teens from lower socio-economic backgrounds spend up to five times more time in front of screens than their more affluent counterparts.

This study was presented at the 48th Annual Conference on Cardiovascular Disease Epidemiology and Prevention.

Worried you're child is addicted to video games or the Internet? Visit www.video-game-addiction.org to learn more.

Labels: addictions, internet

In the PBS special presentation "Growing Up Online", viewers get a look inside the very private online worlds that kids are able to create for themselves these days. It's a growing trend that leaves parents struggling to keep up with their children's lives.

"As more and more kids begin to grow up online, parents are finding themselves on the outside looking in, struggling to remain relevant and engaged in their kids' lives. 'I remember being 11; I remember being 13; I remember being 16, and I remember having secrets,' one mother says. 'But it's really hard when it's on the other side.'"

Danah Boyd, a fellow at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard Law School reminds parents that things like MySpace and Facebook can't just be turned off. Parents have to learn how to live in a society where these things exist, and teach their kids how to live in it as well. Read more at IndianaLawBlog.com.

Worried that your child is struggling with internet addiction? Visit Video-Game-Addiction.org for signs of computer addiction and what you can do to help your child.

Labels: internet, involment, online_safety

More teen girls set up personal Web sites and keep online blogs than teen boys, according to a new study from the Pew Internet and American Life Project.
About 35% of girls ages 12 to 17 who are online keep blogs (diaries) compared to only 20% of boys. Girls are more likely to create Web sites and other Internet content compared to boys (55% vs. 45%).

"Girls have always demonstrated a more aggressive adoption of online posting," according to Mary Madden, a senior research specialist at Pew. "It seems that girls are more focused on verbal expression."

Studies have shown that girls think differently than boys and therefore learn differently than boys. Private all-girls boarding schools address the specific needs of girls, both in and out of the classroom. New Leaf Academy is an all girls junior boarding school with campuses in Oregon and North Carolina. Bromley Brook is a boarding high school for girls that offers a more traditional location in New England. Copper Canyon Academy boarding schools for troubled girls is located in Arizona.

Labels: boundaries, girls, internet

Teens are socializing online and by cell phone more than ever, although email is now "uncool," according to a study by the Pew Institute.

Over 63% of teens own cell phones, and 55% use them every day to talk with friends. Fifty-five percent have profiles on social networks like Facebook and MySpace, and 41% use these websites to communicate with friends every day. Over 40% of girls and 20% of boys blog or keep online diaries.

The "Teens and Social Media" study involved interviews with persons ages 12 to 17 years old between 2004 and 2006.

NorthStar Center drug abuse recovery programs offer adolescents and young adults a sober living environment and addiction therapy.

Labels: cell_phones, email, internet

You want to know what your teenager is doing and saying on his favorite social networking site (MySpace, Facebook, etc). So you go online, create a profile of your own and "friend" your son so that you can see his profile, comments, pictures, etc. But is that the best place to start?

"Rather than going to your teen's favorite social networking site, finding something disagreeable and then telling him your were looking at his profile, talk about it first. Let him know that a condition of his being allowed to use MySpace, Facebook or the next big thing to come along is that you have access to his page. The purpose of this conversation is not to negotiate, but to underscore the value you place on being upfront and honest."

Instead of creating a profile of your own and trying to "sneak a peek" at your daughter's Facebook page, ask her if the two of you can look at her profile together. Most young people don't think they post anything dangerous on these web sites, but often they're unaware of little things (pictures or comments) that would make them vulnerable to online predators. Make sure your teen knows that your primary focus is to help her be safe.

Looking for a private school for your teen? Visit BoardingSchoolsInfo.com for a complete list of private boarding schools.

Labels: interferring, internet, privacy

Tom and Cindy (not their real names) know more about their daughter than she could possibly imagine. Using one of many available programs, they are able to view her email, instant messages, and track the web sites she views.

"Every time Jane writes or reads one of those [keywords], Cindy gets an email and can see what she's up to. It's a far cry from past generations, where parents knew what their kids were up to. The family telephone didn't offer much privacy."

Parents have reason to worry. Nearly one-third of all teens who are online have been contacted by a stranger. Still, some kids and parents consider this level of monitoring an invasion of privacy and insist there are other ways to keep kids safe. It's a debate that's likely to continue as long as there are teens, parents, and the Internet.

Keeping kids safe online, and offline, can be a daunting task for any parent. Visit the ParentingTipsNewsletter for more free advice and help for parents of teenagers.

Labels: internet, privacy, safety

Strangers are more likely to contact teens who post profiles online or who participate in social networks like Facebook or MySpace, according to a new survey by the Pew Institute.

It did not matter if a teen's profile was public or private. Strangers contacted about one-third of the teens in the survey. Of that group, one-fourth reported feeling scared or uncomfortable when contacted. Girls were more likely to be contacted by strangers than boys.

The survey was conducted in August 2007 among 935 adolescents ages 12 to 17 years old.

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Labels: internet, online_safety, teenagers

Cyber-bullying and cyber cruelty are prevalent on social networking and blog sites. The News Courier in Athens, Alabama recently ran a story about a young girl who received cruel and perverted comments on a memorial video she posted on YouTube to honor a friend who had died.

"'There's the perception when we post something online we're invisible, no one can see us,' she said. 'When you're invisible, you can engage in activity that might cause harm but the perception is that no one in authority knows who you are. It removes fear of detection. It makes them oblivious to the potential harmful impact on those who lost a teenager. They have no remorse because they're distanced from any concept of what harm they're actually causing.'"

Nancy Willard, executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, and others remind parents that monitoring of a child's online activity is important not only for the child's safety but for the safety of others with whom he or she may be interacting. Read more at TahlequahDailyPress.com.

Read Cyber-Bullies: What You Need to Know to learn more.

Labels: cyberbulling, internet, online_safety

There's no shortage of special news reports and newspaper articles about the dangers of on line social networking sites like MySpace. But most of MySpace is positive and safe.

"Kids raise money for mission trips, they raise the profile for their music or art, and they have direct access to millions of people without wading through the corporate cesspool. Composers of all sorts still post their music on their pages, and in our rootless society, friends and family from around the world can log on and hear it."

MySpace Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam says that safety remains a top priority for the web site, but that technical solutions only work if parents are teaching teens to be safe, too. Read more at VailTrail.com.

Drugs and teens don't have to go together. Learn how you can prevent your child from going down the wrong path at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: internet, positivies, safety

"Online predator" is a phrase that's become well-known thanks to shows like Dateline's To Catch a Predator. Social networking sites have been the subject of news stories and all-school events where kids are warned not to post pictures or personal information on line. But Anastasia Goodstein, author of the book Totally Wired, thinks some of the scare tactics might be overstated.

"The biggest myth that has been perpetuated by well meaning law enforcement, Internet safety advocates, and the media is that the Internet is teeming with predators who are waiting for your child to post just enough information so they can find them and abduct them."

The truth is that, of the 800,000 kids that are reported missing every year, only about 150 are actually kidnapped by strangers. Most men who seek out kids and teenagers online aren't secretive about their identity. Most, about 80% are very open about who they are and what they want. The kids who talk to these men are often kids who have suffered some kind of physical or sexual abuse or have an otherwise troubled home life. Read more at PBS.org.

Labels: internet, media_infuences, safety

A comprehensive survey of Canadian children ages 13 and 14 years old found that the vast majority had seen pornography over the Internet or watched it as a rented movie. The most dramatic finding was that one-third of the boys told researchers they used pornography deliberately and had seen it "too many times to count."

Boys in rural areas viewed more porn than their urban counterparts.

Sonya Thompson, a graduate student at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, was the author of this study.

Labels: boys, internet, porn

Over 40% of children ages 10 to 17 who used computers told researchers that they have looked at pornography online, according to a new study by the University of New Hampshire. This represents a 25% increase from a similar study in 2000. The study compared children's internet use between 2004-2005 with that of 1999-2000.

The good news from the study was that children were experiencing less sexual solicitation on line, but there were increases in reports of bullying and harassment. This study appears in the February issue of Pediatrics.

Labels: internet, pediatrics, research

Last year, social networking sites like MySpace came to the forefront in the media, but the focus was online predators. While it's true that teens need to be mindful of who they're interacting with online, social networking sites aren't all bad. They can, in fact, provide information or clues as to whether a teen is engaging in dangerous or inappropriate behavior.

"...some experts [are] urging parents to use social networking Web sites as an early warning system to alert them to problems from substance abuse to eating disorders to violent fantasies."

Some parents admit they're hesitant to view their children's MySpace or Facebook profiles, because they feel it's an invasion of privacy. But Ann Collier, of Net Family News, hopes parents will reconsider. There's a big difference, she says, between viewing a web page on the internet and looking through - for example - a diary hidden in a drawer. And the information found in a child's profile could help a parent steer him or her away from dangerous or even life-threatening behaviors. Read more online.

Labels: internet, myspace, warning_signs

Most parents (hopefully) have friends and family who can offer guidance and help during their children's trying teenage years. But for some, that support system isn't available, or is inadequate. Nancy Brown, PhD, has collected a handful of websites and blogs that give insight into the world of teenagers and also offer guidance regarding movies and other media.

"The term 'blog' come from 'Web log', and is a form of 'social media' (e.g. MySpace and Wikipedia). The word 'blog' can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog."

Websites include information on teen health, media and marketing, and entertainment. Read more at HealthLine.com.

Labels: internet, myspace, support