News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh Medical School have found a link between chronic insomnia in parents with and suicidal thoughts and behaviors in their teenage children. Only 1.7% of teens whose parents do not have sleep disturbances attempt suicide, compared to 9.5% of teens whose parents have chronic insomnia.

Chronic insomnia is defined as ongoing sleep disturbances such as trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, as well as waking up too early. People with depression and bipolar disorder often suffer from chronic insomnia - and this recent study indicates that if parents have this condition, the risk of suicidal thoughts in their teenaged children is tripled.

Dr. Xianchen Liu, a professor of psychiatry at University of Pittsburgh, presented the study at a meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies.

Labels: influences, insomnia, suicide

Parenting is a full-time job, at least for the first 17 or 18 years. But by that age, children begin morphing into adults and the best thing a parent can do is - less.

"I still try my 'Not a good idea,' or 'Work harder at this,' but my guidance lacks its former authority. My voice is a distant bell. She hears it, but she may ignore its call."

A child's transition to young adulthood can be as hard for the parent as it is for the child. Responsibilities decrease and worry almost inevitably increases. Still, as teens move toward adulthood, the role of the parent becomes one of "consultant," and letting go becomes a necessity. Read more at NorthFulton.com.

If your child is transitioning into adulthood and dealing with recovery from substance abuse, then NorthStar Center can help. NorthStar's addiction recovery programs for young adults combine a sober living environment, therapy, and academics.

Labels: independence, influences, role_models

Few teens are completely honest with their parents, though most parents think their teens tell them everything. In reality, few teenagers feel comfortable being upfront with their parents about issues like sex or alcohol.

"Alcohol, drugs, sex - all have huge negative consequences and cannot be condoned. But since most teens are experimenting with one or more of these things, parents who form an open, loving dialogue with their teen, while setting clear boundaries, have the best chance of being a positive influence."

It's up to parents to establish an open dialogue with their kids and help them talk about and handle subjects that can be both intense and awkward. An open dialogue won't ensure that your kid doesn't make any mistakes, but it increases your chances of being called upon to help when mistakes are made. Read more at AuburnJournal.com.

A good private boarding school can offer smaller classes which will better prepare your child for college. The Academy at Swift River is a private boarding school that offers teens a balanced program of accredited academics and extra-curricular activities.

Labels: communication, influences, involment

It's common nowadays for family members to see very little of each other. Parents are both working, kids are at school and involved in extracurricular activities. Time together is rare. But the absence of family time can lead to dangerous behavior among teens.

"The constant togetherness means young people are, for all practical purposes, raising each other. It's not just that what their peers think carries more weight than what Mom and Dad think. It's that many teenagers spend so little time with their families that they don't really know what Mom and Dad think."

As a result, teens are much more "tethered to each other" than generations past. Where one goes, the others will follow, even if the direction is not good. Read more at News.Cincinnati.com.

Boarding schools that create a positive peer culture help teens by encouraging emotional growth and self expression. Find the best boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: independence, influences, involment

Dr. Drew Pinsky, most famous for his radio call-in show LOVELINE, has joined Partnership for a Drug Free America's TimeToTalk™ campaign. The Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Keck USC School of Medicine has posed a question for parents on the Yahoo! Answers Q&A community.

"Dr. Drew is asking parents the following question currently featured on Yahoo! Answers: 'How do you turn media publicity about celebrities with drug problems into teachable moments for your kids?' Drew's question reflects TimeToTalk's mission to encourage and empower parents to have ongoing conversations with their teens about the risks of drug and alcohol abuse."

Dr. Drew will also create a 30-second public service announcement about addiction recovery that will air during his first episode of VH-1's "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew".

Want to learn more about teen drug use? Visit http://www.adolescent-substance-abuse.com to learn more.

Labels: addictions, drugs, influences

Materialism in teenagers is linked to lower levels of self-esteem in teenagers, according to research form the University of Minnesota.

Professor Deborah John from the Carlson School of Management found that materialism increases in middle childhood and early adolescence (ages 8 to 13 years) and decreases by the end of high school. This mirrors patterns of self-esteem.

"The level of materialism in teens is directly driven by self-esteem," she wrote. "Self-esteem drops as children enter adolescence, when materialism peaks. By late adolescence when self-esteem rebounds, materialism drops too."

This study appears in the Journal of Consumer Research.

Labels: influences, money, self-esteem

The "hip-hop" culture is about sexually suggestive music, dancing and videos. However, researchers at Columbia University believe that hip-hop does not necessarily encourage teens to experiment with sex. Factors that do influence early sexual expression are drugs, alcohol, peer pressure and "sexually degrading" lyrics in contemporary music. The Columbia group found that hip-hop lyrics are not always sexually degrading, but sometimes were actually sexually empowering for girls.

Dr. Miguel Munoz-Laboy, an assistant professor of socioeconomic sciences, and his colleagues studied more than 1,400 teenagers over a two-year period. They explored the hip-hop culture, and even went to dance clubs. They found that sexually degrading lyrics, as opposed to sexually explicit lyrics, negatively influenced young people. The worst were lyrics that portray women as sexual objects, men as insatiable and sex as meaningless.

Dr. Munoz-Laboy's work appears in the journal Culture, Health and Sexuality.

Pine Ridge Academy is a boarding school for troubled teens that helps teenagers transition from a residential treatment center to a more traditional boarding school.

Labels: influences, music, sex

Marketing firms spend millions of dollars every year pushing products of every kind to pre-teens and teenagers. And, as materialism continues to increase in kids, the marketing appears to be working. But are the ad agencies really to blame?

"In her recent paper 'Growing Up in a Material World...' in the December 2007 issue of the Journal of Consumer Research, [Deborah Roedder] John and co-author Lan Nguyen Chaplin... report the results of two studies conducted with children in three age groups. In the first study, they found that materialism increases from middle childhood (8 and 9 years old) to early adolescence (12 and 13 years old) but then declines by the end of high school (16 to 18 years old). This mirrors patterns in self-esteem, which instead decreases in early adolescence but increases in late adolescence."

The results from this and a second study conducted by John and Chaplin both indicate that materialism in young people is directly tied to their self esteem. The more confident they are, the less materialistic. The results give a clear indication for parents that more emphasis should be placed on helping kids developing a healthy self-esteem and less on helping them develop their wardrobe.

Labels: influences, money, peer_pressure

Researchers in Canada have found a link between early sex and bad relationships with teachers and peers.

Children who had been verbally abused by their teachers or picked on by their friends were more likely to have sex before age 13. They were also more likely to use drugs and alcohol, and engage in delinquent behaviors such as fighting and stealing.

Dr. Mara Bendgren said that these students with negative relationships with teachers and peers might become less interested in school.

She and her colleagues tracked 312 children from kindergarten through seventh grade. About 17% had sex by the time they were 13 years old.

The study appears in the American Journal of Public Health.

Private boarding schools often offer more extra-curricular activities and honors classes to challenge students academically. Find one at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: influences, sex, teaching

The dangers of tobacco use are well-known. Despite that, about 20 percent of the nation's adolescents smoke cigarettes, and about 8 percent chew tobacco. This Q and A from the Des Moines, Iowa register helps parents figure out the best ways to talk to their kids about smoking.

"According to the Centers for Disease Control 'parents can be the greatest influence in their kids' lives.' Being involved and interested in a child's life is a great way to avoid a whole host of problems. The Centers for Disease Control also suggests 'talking directly to children about the risks of tobacco use. If friends or relatives died from tobacco-related illnesses, let your kids know.'"

The Q and A goes on to suggest being open with kids about the diseases and other risks of tobacco. Don't use scare tactics, but be honest. Choosing to dine in restaurants and other places that are smoke-free can help keep kids away from cigarettes as well.

Learn about adolescent drug treatment at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: health, influences, smoking

Teens are busy. Any parent, teacher, friend or sibling can attest to that. School, friends, sports, drama club, choir, band, academic clubs, blogs, MySpace – all leave very little time for teens to spend with their families. Yet studies have shown that time with family keeps teens grounded and actually makes them happy. This means that parents need to be creative and make the most of the time they have.

"One year we had three kids playing on three different travel baseball teams. I spent almost four hours in the car every Saturday... In marketing, this is called a captive audience. In parenting, it's called quality time. I learned so much about my kids that summer. Little things like what music they liked to big things like their views on abortion and the war in Iraq."

Serving favorite foods for dinner also increases the chances that teens will stick around long enough to eat, or try hard to make it home in time. And consider letting them invite a friend. It not only makes "family dinner" more appealing, but helps parents get to know the kids their teens are hanging out with.

Experts say parents are the biggest influence in the battle of teen drug abuse. Visit Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com to learn how you can help your child avoid teenage drug addiction.

Labels: communication, influences, quality_time

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America has found that fewer parents are warning their children about the dangers of drugs.

Of particular concern was that only a third of parents talked to their children about the dangers of prescription drugs. About one in five of all substance abusers use prescription or over-the-counter drugs.

Researchers surveyed 1356 parents of children in grades seven to twelve and found a 12% decline in the frequency of parental discussions about drug use compared to a similar survey a year earlier. The Partnership estimates that 32 million American families have children at risk for abusing drugs and alcohol.

North Star Center's drug treatment programs for adolescent substance abuse help young adults by offering a structured program of sobriety and recovery.

Labels: communication, influences, parenting

A new study from the University of Western Ontario indicates that peer groups can influence children to behave in ways similar to the group.

Researchers studied 526 children in grades five through eight, asking them to classify their classmates into groups such as "popular," "nice kids," and "physically aggressive." The children who were in the "nice" group did not change over the course of the study. However, children in the "cool and popular" group changed their behaviors to live up to the peer group. Likewise, children in the deviant groups engaged in more risky behaviors and became more disliked over time.

This study appears in the July/August issue of Child Development.

Therapeutic boarding schools, like Oakley School in Utah, offer college prep academics in addition to therapy and counseling.

Labels: behavior, influences, research

Two studies of teenagers' sleeping habits indicate that 45% are getting less than the optimal nine hours a night, and 30% sleep less than seven hours.

One study links loss of sleep to the use of caffeinated beverages. Another links it to having computers, television and other technology in a teen's bedroom.

Researchers at the University of Alabama found that teens who drink caffeinated beverages get less sleep than those who do not. About 75% of teens drink at least one caffeinated drink a day. Professor Beverly Sedlacek said that teens use the beverages to get by on less sleep, and "getting by" is not as healthy as getting adequate sleep.

A study of 1000 British teens found that many teens fall asleep watching television, listening to music, or using the computer. This produces "junk sleep" that is not as rejuvenating as normal sleep, according to The Sleep Council of Great Britain. The Council reported that technology is "exaggerating night-owlism in teenagers," and recommended that parents enforce "turn-off" times.

A private high school, like Mount Bachelor Academy in Oregon, uses a very structured environment to make sure students get the rest they need to perform their best during the day.

Labels: health, influences, sleep_deprivation

Are you responsible for your teenage child? Most parents are inclined to say "yes", but Tim Chapman - Executive Director of a residential treatment center, says the more accurate response is "No. You're responsible to them."

"By the time children enter adolescence, parents' role is to encourage, influence and monitor. At this stage in your adolescent's life, your influence is more effective than your ability to control. The sooner parents recognize this, the sooner they may more positively influence their teen."

The line between influence and control is fuzzy. Think of it this way: a controlling parent will 'supervise' a teen as he's finishing his homework, an influencing parent will be available to help but let the teen either finish on his own or deal with the consequences if he doesn't. Though it's hard to let kids experience negative consequences for their actions, it's sometimes an effective learning tool.

Read more at OCRegister.com.

Labels: consequences, control, influences

Maggie Modjeski has fond memories of her dad. Growing up, he was never a harsh disciplinarian, but always found creative ways to make sure she learned the lessons she would need later in life.

"The morning after I had my first experience with alcohol and didn't feel good, he didn't lecture for my wrong doings – but I was not going to stay in bed. I was going to have a full breakfast and full day as planned."

The organization Dads and Daughters (DADS) recently conducted a national poll of fathers, in which they discovered that 75% of dads said they had a good or great relationship with their daughters, but only 1/3 believed their involvement was vital to their daughters' well-being. Read more at WinonaDailyNews.com.

The absence of a father figure in a teens' life can result in teenage drug abuse and addiction. Learn the signs of teen drug use at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: fathers, influences, role_models

Disappointment is part of life. You teen will feel disappointed about friendships, test scores, tryouts for plays and sports teams; she'll even feel disappointed with you on occasion. You can model responses that help your teen learn to handle disappointment.

"Express your own sadness when it is appropriate, and try to stay firmly on your kid’s side, even if she decides to be angry with you instead of the circumstance. Modeling the appropriate expression of feelings – by talking about them without using every bad word you know, by crying if you feel like it, by going for a walk or hard run, all demonstrate difference coping options for your child."

Watch the way your teen reacts to disappointment. What would be a mild disappointment to you can be devastating to an adolescent. Watch for signs of depression and - without pestering – ask your child how he's feeling. Read more at PoughKeepsieJournal.com.

Labels: communication, influences, role_models

The old saying "you are the company you keep" is true; even (or maybe especially) for teenagers. Most adults can look back on poor decisions they made as teenagers and point to a classmate, girl - or boyfriend who influenced them to make those decisions. Teenagers today are no different, and parents need to be aware of who their kids are spending time with.

"If your children are ditching school, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, lying, engaging in sexual activity or doing other things that cause you to worry, you can bet their decisions can be traced back to their friends."

Take time getting to know your teenager. He or she may try to shut you out at first, but be persistent (not pushy... persistent). The better you know your kids, the more quickly you'll notice behavior that's uncharacteristic. Consider having family movie nights, mandatory family dinners, and other activities that will give you adequate time to know your child and ample opportunities to offer the wisdom and guidance he or she needs. Read more at CleburneTimesReview.com.

Labels: communication, influences, role_models

Bruce Crevier has spent 16 years mesmerizing crowds with his basketball-spinning ability. He's even been in the Guinness Book of World Records four times. But he doesn't spin basketballs to get his name in a book, he does it to capture an audience's attention and share with them an important message: the choices you make matter.

"'G.A.M.E. stands for goals, attitude, morals, and excellence,' Crevier explained. 'If kids don't discipline themselves with good choices when they are younger, they will pay for it in later years. They can lose their family, faith and freedom."

Crevier travels around the country with his wife and kids, encouraging youth people to make healthy choices, and warning parents not to try and replace quality time with things like iPods and DVD players. Read more at MyDJConnection.com.

Teens who are spinning out of control may benefit from military boarding schools. Find private boarding schools and military boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: influences, morals, role_models

Parenting styles have been changing over the last 20 years. It used to be that children were told what to do and expected to obey. Today, however, more parents are giving their children choices, and helping them learn how to make good decisions.

"By the time children have become teens, if their parents have allowed them to learn to make choices, they'll understand why making good choices in important."

It's important for parents to create structure when teaching good decision-making. Give your child options, but make sure each option is appropriate, good, and healthy. Read more online.

Labels: choices, influences, parenting_styles

A new 30-second television commercial will air on NBC on April 30th. Titled "Daddy's Girl", the spot emphasizes the importance of saying "no" and guiding teenagers in making healthy decisions, especially when it comes to underage drinking.

"According to a recent survey conducted by Data Development Worldwide for Anheuser-Bush, 98 percent of parents agree that it's never OK for parents to buy alcohol for their own teens and other teens at parties or gatherings. Unfortunately, some parents say 'yes' when faced with this situation. Research has found that two-thirds of teens who drink say they get alcohol from their parents or other adults."

The Roper Youth Report, an annual survey of teens, reports that 74 percent of teenagers consistently name their parents as the number one influence on their decision to drink or not. Read more online.

Labels: influences, parenting, pushovers

Rosalind Wiseman, author of the book which inspired the movie "Mean Girls" has a unique message for parents: parents and their children aren't perfect, no matter their status. Many parents strive to keep their kids on a "perfect path" of being academically, athletically, and socially perfect - but nobody's perfect.

"So many times... parents buy into the same cultural ideas as their children as they fight to keep flawless appearances or push their children to compete with others. Rather than focusing on getting their children in the AP Physics course or on a sports team, parents should be in the business of raising 'socially competent children.'"

Though her advice is mainly directed at parents of teenagers, it's good information for those whose children haven't yet reached the teen years. Read more at Bradenton.com.

Labels: influences, role models, social_pressure