News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

If you've ever expressed concern about something you've seen, heard about or experienced, only to have your concerns dismissed as being "no big deal," then you're familiar with "discounting." Discounting is something we all tend to do when faced with an issue or situation that makes us uncomfortable.

But as Amy Johnson, MSW, advises in her column in the Aug. 12 edition of the Federal Way (Wash.) Mirror when it comes to raising healthy children, discounting can be decidedly dangerous:

Any level of discounting allows us to keep from moving toward solving the problem. We might feel relief that we're not alone from a discussion with these responses, but the problem remains unsolved. In order to move forward, we need to take the next step to empowerment.

Parents may be tempted to discount a childs behavior, or problems a teenager says he's having in school. Though the intent is not to harm, discounting a teen's concerns or struggles can leave him feeling marginalized or hopeless.

Johnson advises parents to determine what is negotiable (for example, a curfew) and what is not (such as teen substance abuse or sexual behavior). Once these parameters have been established, parents need to stick to their beliefs and not discount behaviors that run counter to the rules and boundaries they've established.

Labels: parenting, discipline, discounting

Posted By: Aspen/CRC