News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

"Parent Aides are professionally trained home visitors who work one-on-one with families. They teach parents to be more loving and attentive to the needs of their children."

Labels: communication, parenting, relationships

"Our kids learn honesty as well as dishonesty mostly from us. So my only big rule on however you choose to answer is this: 'Never - ever - lie or deceive thy child.' Doing so only breaks down trust with your child and sends a very wrong message."

Labels: communication, honesty, respect

Labels: communication, text_messaging

"The teen survival guide is full of straight talk and smart advice on dealing with the 'difficult years' that every teen girl experiences. The guide covers everything from negotiation and bargaining tactics to surviving the report card storm."

Labels: communication, parenting, relationships

"Rules without relationship are generally crafted for selfish, egocentric and unloving reasons. The goal is control, personal convenience, and power. These types of rules not only have no relationship - they actually stifle it!"

Labels: communication, relationships, rules

"Although your kids may want to be like Hannah Montana, a recent National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy survey offered statistics providing hope that you are still the most influential role model in your child's life when it comes to sex. Research shows that regular discussions about sex with your child can delay the onset of his or her sexual activity and improve the parent-child relationship."

Labels: communication, pregnancy, relationships

"It has evolved into a spoken language among young teens and middle school students, who use acronyms to speak to their friends in shorthand, save a little time or tell off-color jokes in front of confused parents..."

Labels: cell_phones, communication, technology

"There is no doubt that cell phones are creating new ways for parents to connect with... teens... That is a very good thing."

Labels: cell_phones, communication, text_messaging

"[Mark] Hutton and many other therapists and psychologists argue for a more positive approach than threats and punishments. A key to this approach is learning new ways to communicate with teenagers."

Labels: communication, discipline, parenting_styles

"While it's normal for teens to want to spend more time with their friends, parents and teens need to stay connected... When it comes to the tough topics, you are the best person to talk to your teen. Clear communication is essential to keeping teens safe. Your teen needs to know what your values and expectations are and the consequences for unacceptable behavior."

Labels: communication, relationships, teenagers

"While [Elizabeth] Berger, a child psychologist, believes that TV violence and sexuality are not constructive for children, she said there is too much of a tendency to blame TV rather than adult society. When children aren't spoken to about violence, she said, it could present a problem."

Labels: communication, involment, tv

"Alcohol, drugs, sex - all have huge negative consequences and cannot be condoned. But since most teens are experimenting with one or more of these things, parents who form an open, loving dialogue with their teen, while setting clear boundaries, have the best chance of being a positive influence."

Labels: communication, influences, involment

"Talk to each other. There is power in unity. Talk through the issues behind closed doors until you are in agreement on your standards, such as curfews and dating venues. Is a school dance, sports event, or movie acceptable? What about an unchaperoned party? Will a boy have to come to the door or is a honking horn good enough?"

Labels: communication, dating, relationships

"'The good, old-fashioned family meal that we've long forgotten about is so critical,' she said. 'If you can't do it at night because kids are overscheduled, do it at breakfast. Have some time when people can sit down and share and connect.'"

Labels: books, communication, parenting tips

"'I think the more information you have, the better prepared you are,' said Cherish Stickel, 40, who recently attended one of the sessions at Pleasant Valley Junior High School in LeClaire. 'Power is knowledge, I think.' That need for information is especially great now, in light of recent media attention on teen pregnancy, said Libbet Brooke, one of the program facilitators and the health educator at the Edgerton Clinic in Davenport."

Labels: communication, parenting_tips, sex

"It's easy to criticize what this dad is doing, but listening to his stories leads more to understanding and sympathy than to censure. Parenting is tough, and raising some kids is particularly demanding... How do you live with a child that you love, but don't really like?"

Labels: communication, compromise, relationships

"More often than not, when we complain that our teenagers won't talk to us, what we are really saying is, 'My teenager won't listen to me.' In order to make a connection with your teen, the conversation has to be two-sided with mutual respect. Wait until they've completely finished telling you something before jumping in with advice or an opinion."

Labels: communication, parenting_tips, respect

"'You Shut Up!' is not a comfortable read. It challenges parents to reassess the way they relate to their teenagers and come up with an approach that is guided by a mixture of love and pragmatism, communication and non-interference, with less judgment and more trust – something we aren't always very good at."

Labels: communication, parenting_books, relationships

"How early to start talking about sex depends on the maturity of your child. If a question comes up, be honest, open, and respectful. Also be sure there is two way conversation and not a one way lecture."

Labels: communication, pregnancy, sex

"Start with ideas. Ask your teen about what she wants to see happen in her life this year. Encourage her to imagine what her life would be like if her desires actually happen. What would change? What would stay the same? Who would be involved."

Labels: communication, goals, resolutions

"Find a time once a week where your family can get together and talk about a certain issue or play a game. Make it consistent. One family I know has every family member during the week write down at least five words they came upon in everyday life they didn't recognize. It makes both parents and kids think about the 'challenge' during the week, they get to learn new words and supposedly they have some pretty funny guessing games and example sentences on their weekly Sunday night challenge."

Labels: communication, families, quality_time

Labels: communication, text_messaging

"This Parent's Bill of Rights and Responsibilities was created by a group of parents, educators, counselors, law enforcement personnel, and an assortment of community leaders - collectively known as the Tri-City Substance Abuse Coalition - in response to questions and concerns expressed by parents in their community."

Labels: communication, respect, rights

"The survey is sent via the mail each year in January or February and covers 20 topics including how well they feel adults are teaching values, spending time with their families, protecting kids from violence, preventing child abuse, being honest, running the government, understanding the realities of teen sex, leading by example, and helping young people cope with anxiety and depression."

Labels: communication, relationships, role_models

"While, for the most part, tween shows are the domain of children and children only, don't be so sure there isn't something in some of these shows for the parents as well."

Labels: communication, teen_culture, tv

"It's not clear that a surveillance society actually provides more security. Consider the ubiquitous surveillance cameras at schools. What did they do for that Cleveland high school last month except to leave behind chilling, post-mortem pictures of the 14-year-old shooter? And how easy is it to drop the GPS jacket by the roadside?"

Labels: communication, safety, trust

"Endeavour to teach your children the ins and outs of dating and sex from an early age and reinforce this message frequently. Above all, help your teenagers to appreciate that dating means getting to know other people emotionally and not only physically."

Labels: communication, dating, sex

"[You could] set up a 'TV room' where [your husband] can wander in and read, talk on the phone or actually put 100% attention on the TV itself, but where it was a no-kid zone. Most of the time he'd know it was there but you'd leave the TV off, and if he felt like he needed a 'fix', he could get it easily and with minimal disruptions."

Labels: communication, compromise, tv

"The easiest way to get started is to realize that you'll never know all the lingo that your teen or child will know. Choose bits and pieces of lingo then turn to a guide or lingo dictionary for guidance. Some terminology is common sense, some is completely unnecessary and some is a way to hide information. Check out resources available to educate yourself on chat lingo and decide if you want the necessities or more of the whole picture."

Labels: communication, safety, text_messaging

"The easiest way to get started is to realize that you'll never know all the lingo that your teen or child will know. Choose bits and pieces of lingo then turn to a guide or lingo dictionary for guidance. Some terminology is common sense, some is completely unnecessary and some is a way to hide information. Check out resources available to educate yourself on chat lingo and decide if you want the necessities or more of the whole picture."

Labels: communication, safety, text_messaging

"One year we had three kids playing on three different travel baseball teams. I spent almost four hours in the car every Saturday... In marketing, this is called a captive audience. In parenting, it's called quality time. I learned so much about my kids that summer. Little things like what music they liked to big things like their views on abortion and the war in Iraq."

Labels: communication, influences, quality_time

Labels: communication, influences, parenting

"'My parenting ideas as a counselor have changed,' Smith said. 'I'm going to have to live it - practice what I preach.'... Smith says life requires more than the tough parenting and marriage skills she dissects with others. It requires humor and faith."

Labels: communication, counseling, parenting_tips

"'Be careful when you lay down the rules so as not to embarrass your daughter,' say panelist Rochelle Freedman. She suggests you talk to your daughter first and warn her you plan to discuss her friends' bad language with them."

Labels: communication, respect, rules

"These girls are not being taught never to steal; they are being taught never to get caught and have lost all respect for their dad or uncle."

Labels: communication, parenting_styles, punishment

"It is difficult to determine the limits of what is appropriate to share with your kids about your own life. Teenagers can be remarkably persistent when it comes to "building a case" in support of minimizing their own transgressions. The last thing we want is for them to use our youthful indiscretions as ammo against us. We have already suffered enough. Do our kids need to know this stuff? Is it helpful, even?"

Labels: boundaries, communication, privacy

"Keep up with the hands-on parenting when the kids reach high school, adds Teresa Bullock, a Midtowner who has two graduates of the Memphis City Schools system and served for two years as president of the Central High's PTSA (Parent Teacher Student Association)... She encouraged parents to join their school's parent organizations, to check on homework projects, and to monitor mid-term progress reports."

Labels: communication, networking, parenting

"If you haven't heard, Barry Bonds just tied the home run record. This is the perfect opportunity to start up the 'steroid talk' with your kids. Whether Bonds did or didn't use muscle-building enhancers shouldn't be the key point; instead, focus your conversation on 'Should he or shouldn't he?'"

Labels: communication, drugs, steroids

"And the most effective way they sidetrack you is through certain responses - call them their greatest hits - that they hope will undo your words. They're hoping you'll say 'Oh. I'm sorry. I've changed mind. It was inconsiderate of me to ask you to clean up the TV room. I'll do it myself.'"

Labels: arguments, communication, consequences