News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Many of the stories we read and hear about teenagers and text messaging are far from good -- for example, sexting, cyberbullying and sleep deprivation among teens who are up all night exchanging messages with their friends.

But as a Sept. 22 Associated Press article by Beth J. Harpaz indicates, tech-friendly parents can turn texting into an advantage:

Texting isn't always bad. In some families, it's become a primary form of communication between parents and children. In fact, one of my favorite texts from kids is the earth-shattering query "Wuz4dina?"

Yes, the finest technology offered by the 21st century is being used to pose the question hungry children have been asking since cavemen roasted mammoth bones over a fire: "What's for dinner?"

Psychologist Thomas W. Phelan, author of "Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage and Let Go of Your 13-18 Year Olds," says one of the biggest problems with teens is getting them to communicate at all, so if they're willing to text their parents, we should embrace the trend.

Labels: communication, text messaging, cell phones

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A coalition of research and anti-drug abuse organizations has created and launched a new tool for parents. "WebSafe" is an online platform aimed at educating and equipping parents to better protect their kids from pro-drug messages on the Internet.

A Sept. 16 release on the website of the Partnership for a Drug-Free America provided the following details about the effort:

WebSafe is an online community offering information educating adults about pro-drug content to which children may be exposed every time they go online. WebSafe also provides Community Alerts that regularly notify registered "WebSafe Parents" about new, potentially harmful websites and other Internet threats.

Parents and other adults can also purchase "The WebSafe Lifeguard," state-of-the-art software that can monitor and control how long, when, and what sites children are visiting  and even block children from giving out personal and family information.

Eventually, visitors and members will be invited to join local "WebSafe Communities" where they can exchange information about threats with other concerned parents, educators, and professionals in their area.

"Parents would never let children surf dangerous waters unprotected," said Carey Kriz, Unyos CEO. "WebSafe transforms parents into the lifeguard protecting Internet-surfing kids from the subtle and not-so-subtle threats they face."

Labels: internet, computers, online_safety, protection

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Parents who are sure that their teens never view adult-oriented web sites may want to take a closer look at their children's surfing habits.

A survey of Australia teenagers has revealed that the vast majority has seen online pornography, though most teens claimed to have "accidentally" seen the images.

According to Sept. 11 Herald Sun article, researchers with Edith Cowan University reported that 84 percent of the boys and 60 percent of girls said they have "stumbled across" pornographic websites while surfing the Internet.

"The Internet offers a world of opportunity for young people but it is important that they are empowered to confront online problems such as cyber-bullying, inappropriate content and invasions of privacy," the nation's communications minister, Stephen Conroy, said in the Herald Sun article.

Though the Australian government has announced a $128 million effort to enhance the online security of young web-surfers, a number of groups have criticized the effort. For example, the Herald Sun reported, Liberal Senator Nick Minchin has claimed that the mandatory web-filtering program would lull parents into a false sense of security.

Labels: internet, porn

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Social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter can create unique and positive connections among family members. But consider yourselves warned, parents: There are some things your children dont want to read about -- and they may not react in the best ways when they do.

A Sept. 20 article in the "Family and Relationship" blog on the website of the British newspaper The Globe and Mail provides one such example:

Erini Shields had a sneaking suspicion her single mom, Donna, had started dating when the 54-year-old mentioned going out for motorcycle rides with a male friend.

Her thoughts were confirmed last Tuesday when one of her mother's Facebook status updates caught her eye.

What an awesome ride on the harley! Such a beautiful day. Even had time for some couch olympics....Erin, don't read that last part :)

The younger Ms. Shields, who lives in Chicago, expressed her horror through her blog and Twitter account moments later:

GROSS! GROSSGROSSGROSS!!! mom's talking about "couch olympics" with her new boyfriend on facebook!! EWEWEW EEEWWWWWW!!!!!

The wise use of social networking sites can be a good thing for parents and children -- but as the Shields' story indicates, not all online communication is good online communication (a fact that all online social networkers would be wise to keep in mind).

Labels: social-networking, parents, communication

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A study from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine at Yeshiva University found that 70 percent of American children have low levels of vitamin D. This could be prevented if children spent just 15 to 20 minutes a day in outdoor exercise.

• Dr. Michal Melamed analyzed a talk on more than 6,000 children ages one to 21 years old.
  
• Nine percent of the children were vitamin D deficient and 61 percent were vitamin D insufficient.
  
• Dr. Melamed said that new cases of rickets, a bone disease caused by low Vitamin D levels, are also increasing.

Kids have more sedentary lifestyles today and are not spending as much time outdoors, Dr. Melamed wrote in the journal Pediatrics. The widespread use of sunscreens which block UV-B rays has only compounded the problem.

Labels: vitamin deficiency, health risks

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Stacy Summers and her teenage daughters have a routine. When she drops them off at a friends house, they wave good-bye at the car, then just before going into the house- they turn and wave one more time. Its a subtle but effective way for Stacy and her kids to show their affection.

While the line between showing teenagers you care and embarrassing them in front of their friends can prove difficult for parents to walk, its important that they do so," Christine Vander Weilen, a clinical therapist and a mom to 8- and 13-year-old girls, said in a Sept. 12 article in Wisconsin's Post-Crescent newspaper.

The Post-Cresent article, by Lisa Strandberg, emphasized the many ways in which parents can use small gestures in order to make big differences in their ability to maintain healthy lines of communication with their children:

• The key to showing appropriate affection lies in determining what works best for your child. Like adults, teenagers respond to different expressions of love.
  
• Some may respond to hugs and kisses, while others respond to quality time or words of affirmation.
  
• Discovering what type of affection they prefer is all part of helping them establish their own identity, and enjoying their development into young men and women.

Labels: parenting tips, communication

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The Akron (Ohio) Childrens Hospital is launching a new e-newsletter that will cover topics such as the H1N1 virus, developmental delays and back-to-school issues. Parents can register for the newsletter, iGrow, at the hospitals website, www.akronchildrens.org.

"iGrow will help keep parents informed at each stage of their childs development, Andrea Joliet, the hospital's assistant director of interactive marketing and public relations, said in the Akron Beacon Journal. "As with all the content on akronchildrens.org, subscribers to iGrow can feel confident knowing that they are receiving health information from pediatric experts."

Other issues that will be covered in the newsletter include asthma and allergies, fitness and nutrition, and diabetes. Parents who subscribe to the electronic newsletter will receive information that is appropriate for their children's age.

Labels: health, parenting tips

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Two new studies have revealed that many young people aren't sleeping enough, and that certain sleep patterns are associated with depression.

The first study compared sleep patterns of high school students with the snoozing habits of their college counterparts. College students stay up later and wake up later, but both groups averaged about seven hours of sleep a night.

The most surprising finding was that academic stress was cited most popular reason students did not get enough sleep.

• More than 1,120 Midwestern students ages 17 to 24 years old took the sleep survey by researchers from Virginia Commonwealth University and the University of St. Thomas in Minnesota.
• About one in four surveyed got less than 6.5 hours of sleep a night, even though pediatricians recommend eight.
• Students who told researchers that they drank before going to sleep averaged 21 alcoholic beverages per week, compared to 12 for others in the survey.

The study appeared in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

In the second study, researchers at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center followed 96 adolescents with no histories of psychiatric disorders for five years.

• Dr. Uma Rao and her colleagues used sleep monitors and collected saliva and urine samples to record participants cortisol levels.
  
• Students with higher cortisol levels were more likely to develop depression.
  
• Those who reached the REM stage of sleep more quickly than an average were also more likely to develop depression.

This study was in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology.

Labels: stress, depression, students, sleep_deprivation

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Young people today have access to more media and information than any previous generation. But in the age of cell phones and instant messaging, kids are also more separated from the adult world.

Maturity follows a formula," [Mark Bauerlein] wrote in the Knoxville News Sentinel. "The more kids contact one another, the less they heed the tutelage of adults. When peer consciousness grows too fixed and firm, the teachers voice counts for nothing outside the classroom. When youth identity envelopes them, parent talk at the dinner table only distracts them.

The Kaiser Foundation estimates that 68 percent of kids have televisions in their rooms. It also estimates that the total amount of time kids spend with media (in its various forms), is nearly equivalent to having a full-time job. Texting, downloading and blogging are all great pastimes, but kids also need quality time with the adults who can help guide and instruct them.

Children whose video gaming and web surfing have progressed to the point of obsession may benefit from the effective professional intervention that is available at a residential treatment program for computer-addicted teens.

Labels: technology, internet, text messaging, cell phones

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Establishing independence is a natural part of adolescence, and a teenagers attempts to establish his own identity can seem, to parents, like outright rebellion.

According to a Sept. 7 article in the British Columbia newspaper The Chilliwack Progress, a new program is designed to help parents prepare for the challenges of the teen years:

Parenting Without Power Struggles is a 10-week program for parents of preteens and young teens, between the ages of 10 and 14, designed to help support parents in their children's upbringing.

The program provides parents with a peer support network, as well as skills to help them shift from being the 100 per cent in-control parent to a parent who gives their child some independence.

Enrollment is $24 and includes a parent workbook. The first class is September 23 at Chilliwack Community Services on Mary Street.

Labels: parenting tips, help_for_parents, canada

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When properly diagnosed and treated, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a manageable condition. Now, a new tool can provide more accurate diagnoses and ensure that kids get the help they need.

Health Digest News reported on the new technique:

The Quotient" ADHD Test gives clinicians objective and accurate data to perform better assessments and to guide treatment decisions. The Quotient" ADHD System accurately measures motion and analyzes shifts in attention state to give a clear picture of the core symptom areas of ADHD.

The test report is broken down into four areas: motion graphic and analysis; attention response graphic and analysis; attention state analysis and scaled scores. The test takes 15 minutes for children under the age of 13, and 20 minutes for adolescents.

Labels: health, adhd

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More children are going to emergency rooms for injuries suffered during physical education classes even though fewer children have daily physical education, according to a new study published in the journal Pediatrics.

• Researchers from the Center for Injury Research and Policy at the Research Institute at Nationwide Childrens Hospital used data from emergency rooms throughout the United States.
• The number of injuries incurred in gym classes doubled between 1997 and 2007.
• However, in 1991, over 40 percent of students had daily physical education classes, but by 2003, only 28 percent had such classes.

Dr. Lara McKenzie, author of the study, offered several explanations, such as increased childhood obesity, a shortage of school nurses, and the fact that many children are over-training and over-specializing in just one sport.

Gender differences were also noted in the injuries that were studied. Boys were more likely to have head injuries, fractures or cuts, and girls were more likely to have strains, sprains and non-contact injuries.

Labels: physical education, school, injuries, gym class

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The transition from junior high to high school -- and from high school to college -- can be challenging for parents and their children.

In an effort to fit in and make friends, some students will do things that would normally be out of character. Parents need to determine ahead of time how theyll respond if they find out their child has been drinking or experimenting with drugs.

In an Aug. 27 article in the Long Island newspaper The Times Beacon Record, Rev. Francis Pizzarelli offered the following advice to prepare parents for addressing these transitional challenges:

• Every family needs to have a core of basic values, rules and regulations that govern the smooth operating of one's family system.
• When parenting teenagers, parents should always be consistent and fair. Never say something that you do not intend to enforce.
  
• Do not compromise your moral compass for the sake of being friends with your teen. Be clear with your expectations, and be prepared to practice what you preach.
  

Rev. Pizzarelli also advised against tolerating teen substance abuse, especially if parents are operating under the misconception that teen drinking and marijuana use is just a phase.

Labels: parenting tips, rules, substance_abuse

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Overweight children who wet their beds at night may have obstructive sleep apnea, according to a study from the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Jersey.

Dr. Joseph Barone and his colleagues compared 149 overweight children (ages five to 15 years) to 139 normal weight children of the same age. Bedwetting and being overweight raised the risk for sleep apnea.

This study appeared in the journal Pediatrics.

Labels: health, overweight, research, sleep_apnea, bedwetting

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Mothers of autistic children are under more stress than are mothers of developmentally disabled children, according to a new study from the University of Washington.

Processor Annette Estes compared 51 mothers of children with autism to 22 mothers whose children had developmental delay. All the children in the study were about three years old. Although many of the developmentally delayed children needed high levels of care, the study indicated that the autistic children caused their parents more psychological stress.

"If a child has more needs in getting dressed and in other daily living skills that means the parents are working harder and seemingly would be under stress," Dr. Estes wrote. "But it is not the hard work that is stressing the mothers. Our findings really pointed to the behavioral problems that can occur with autism. Children with autism had significantly higher levels of problem behaviors than children with developmental delays."

This study appeared in the journal Autism.

Labels: autism, mothers, parents

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Short children are teased only somewhat more than their friends, and such teasing does not appear to affect their popularity or risk for depression, according to a new study from the University of Michigan.

• Dr. Joyce Lee studied 712 sixth-graders using data from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Developments Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development.
• The data included reports from the children and their teachers, as well as measures of depression, optimism, popularity, and social support from peers.
• Short children scored slightly higher in self-reports of peer victimization; however, their teachers reported no differences.

Dr. Lee said there wasn't any real emotional difference between short and tall children based on the factors that she evaluated. This study appeared in the journal Pediatrics.

Labels: depression, bullying

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An innovative study of babies found that even small children can feel guilt and want to atone for something they did wrong. The study found that such guilt was not necessarily a bad thing, because the two-year-olds who showed the most guilt went on to have fewer behavioral problems over the next five years.

• Dr. Grazyna Kochanska and her colleagues at the University of Iowa told toddlers that they should be very careful with a certain toy.
• The toy was special and precious because it had belonged to the researcher when she was a little child.
• However, the toy was rigged to fall apart. Once that happened, the researcher would observe the child.

Some children would cover their faces with their hands, avoid eye contact with the researcher, and otherwise express guilt. The ones who expressed the most guilt were more likely to behave well over the next five years, even if they scored low on their ability to focus and control their impulses.

(By the way, the researchers did assure the children that the toy was easily fixed, showing them perfect replicas and reassuring them that it wasn't their fault and that toy was as good as new.)

Labels: research, emotions, babies

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