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News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

The By Parents For Parents Blog is regularly updated with the latest news and information on topics that relate to parenting teenagers. We'll post parenting advice and tips from trusted online news sources and expert parenting columns.

We invite you to add your comments. Please let us know if you would like some specific topics covered, want to share your experience as a parent dealing with teens, or just have general feedback on the By Parents For Parents Blog.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Parents: Don't Let Responsibilities Overwhelm Romance

If you're a parent, you know how it goes: Though you've been longing for a romantic interlude with your partner, the reality is that after a day of child rearing, budget managing, job stressing, and house cleaning, neither of you have much energy or interest left. So how do you maintain romance in a life that is already filled with kids, jobs, chores, and more?

Reserve special time to do something as a couple. If a date night isn't feasible, think about an errand night. I can still remember the romantic strolls I took with my husband down the isles of our local Meijer ...

[Another tip is to] work together. Studies show that co-parenting makes for happier parents and stronger relationships. (Source: Detroit Free Press)

Another important suggestion is that parents should refrain from criticizing each other's parenting decisions. Talk about what's right or safe for your children, but don't compete. Work together, and trust each other. Distrust over parenting skills can easily develop into a relationship-eroding level of resentment.

Labels: parenting tips, relationships, romance

posted by ByParents-forParents at 7:30 AM 0 comments

Monday, April 27, 2009

Post-Divorce Dating Can Impact Kids

Divorce is hard on kids. But when a parent starts dating again, it can not only open up old wounds caused by the divorce, but can also prompt new fears of losing mom or dad to a new relationship.

"If there’s one mistake that gets made too often ... it's introducing children to a partner before the child is ready or before the parent knows whether the person has much potential for a stable relationship." [Source: The Calgary Herald]

A parent may be ready to date before the child is ready for the parent to date. It's something that needs to be discussed, though the conversation can be awkward. If a child is still grieving his parents’ divorce, dating may need to wait. At the very least, hold off on introducing your child to someone unless you're sure the child is ready and that the relationship has long-term potential.

Labels: dating, divorce, parenting, parenting tips

posted by ByParents-forParents at 7:00 AM 0 comments

Friday, April 24, 2009

Researchers Link Early-Life Psych Problems with Increased Risk of Suicide

Finnish researchers have discovered that eight-year-old boys who screened positive for psychiatric problems may be at increased risk for suicide as teenagers. This relationship does not appear to hold true for girls.

Researchers from Turku University Hospital in Finland screened 5,302 people who were born in 1981, and followed them until 2005. Thirteen males and two females within the group committed suicide, and 39 made serious attempts (requiring hospitalization). Of the 27 males in the group, 78 percent screened positive for severe mental problems as eight-year-olds, but this was true of only 11 percent of the girls.

"The main finding of our study is that severe suicidality in adolescence and early adulthood has different childhood trajectories among males and females," the researchers wrote in the journal Archives of General Psychiatry.

Labels: children, suicide, teenagers, warning_signs

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:00 AM 0 comments

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Parental Alienation: An 'Invisible' Form of Abuse

The phrase "child abuse" usually brings to mind images of children who have been beaten or severely neglected. But a different kind of abuse, one that can be just as damaging, often goes unnoticed. It's called parental alienation.

The Parental Alienation Awareness Organization defines this type of abuse as, "the mental manipulation and/or bullying of children which can result in destroying a loving and warm relationship they once shared with a parent." Sadly, parental alienation is most often the result of two ... mature adults who resort to using their children as unwitting chips in a high-stakes game of post-marital revenge. [Source: The Mississuaga News (Ontario, Canada)]

In many cases of parental alienation, the parents are so wrapped up in their personal lives and challenges that they don't realize the damage they're causing to their child - or to their relationship with their child. Parental alienation is an issue that divorced or separated parents need to be particularly aware of, though families who all live under the same roof are by no means immune to this problem.

Adolescents and teens who do not have positive relationships with their parents may be prone to a range of behavior problems and mental health concerns, including depression, substance abuse, and poor academic performance.

Labels: abuse, alienation, divorce, parenting, separation

posted by ByParents-forParents at 1:09 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

University Waching for Economic Stress Among Students

On April 6, a Colorado State University student committed suicide. The tragedy prompted school officials to send out a message to all faculty members, urging them to watch for signs of stress among students who may have increased financial concerns due to the economy.

Michael Daine, associate executive director of CSU's University Counseling Center, said counselors are helping an increasing number of students dealing with tight budgets and parents losing jobs during a time of year that historically is the most stressful with finals approaching.

Dean of Students Anne Hudgens said many students realize the sacrifices their parents are making and begin to feel like they're burdening their parents. Worries about finding a job after graduation are weighing heavy on their minds, too.

Source: Coloradoan

Labels: college, economics, stress, suicide

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:00 AM 0 comments

Monday, April 20, 2009

Adult Mentors Improves Teens' Skills, Confidence

A study of a Big Sister program in Boston found that an adult mentor can improve an adolescent's psychosocial functioning through shared activities, emotional support, and companionship.

Researchers from Boston University School of Social Work interviewed 12 girls and their 12 adult "big sisters" who had been working with them for two to eleven years.

"We found that these girls' relationships with their mentors offered both emotional support and opportunities to develop skills and confidence through collaborations with their mentors in shared activities, such as doing homework together or learning to sing," said Dr. Renee Spencer, author of the study.

This study appeared in the Journal of Primary Prevention.

Labels: girls, mentoring, parenting, teenagers

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:00 AM 1 comments

Friday, April 17, 2009

What to do about Friend's 'Wild' Teen?

A woman recently wrote to an advice columnist, asking what she should do about her friend's daughter, who drinks, smokes and gets into "all sorts of trouble." The girl's mother doesn’t seem to have a clue about what her daughter is doing. Should the woman say anything to her friend?

"I suspect your friend already knows about her daughter's destructive behavior," the columnist advised, "but if you truly believe she doesn't have a clue, then I believe she should be enlightened, as this is about her daughter's welfare. Whoever approaches your friend must be prepared for anger, tears, and denial."

This is a hard conversation for any parent to have, and should be handled gently. If you need to talk to a parent about her daughter's behavior, try to keep the conversation from getting too negative. Acknowledge the daughter's good traits as well, express genuine concern about her decisions, and give the parent time to respond.

Source: The Province (Canada)

Labels: girls, interferring, involment, parental-involvement, teenagers

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:00 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Expert Advises: Include Other Adults in Parenting Circle

Teenagers often have mentors. They may not be referred to by this term, but typically there is a coach, teacher or parent of a friend whom your teenager will admire. If you join forces, this person can be a valuable ally during the teen years.

"Sometimes kids can hear better when the words that are spoken are not coming from their own parents' lips. Adolescents who disregard their parents' point of view on principle can sometimes absorb an adult voice of reason when that voice is not genetically akin to their own."

While you want to accept adult friends in your teenager's life, you also want to pay attention to how your teen is being influenced. You want to be sure the influence is positive and is moving your teen in the right direction.

Source: Poughkeepsie Journal

Labels: mentoring, parenting, parents, teenagers, teens

posted by ByParents-forParents at 6:07 PM 0 comments

Thursday, April 09, 2009

National Survey Shows that Teens Prefer Marlboro Cigarettes

Results from the National Youth Tobacco Survey indicate that the favorite cigarette of adults - Marlboro - is also the top cigarette brand among teens who smoke on a regular basis. The survey included responses from 54,301 regular smokers, part of the 2004 and 2006 National Youth Tobacco Survey of nearly 5 million 12- to 17-year-olds. Approximately 52 percent of high school students who are "established smokers" prefer Marlboro, 21 percent prefer Newport, and 13 percent prefer Camel. Although cigarette smoking has declined among teens in recent years, health experts worry that cigarette advertising efforts that target adults may also be reaching teens.

Dr. Victor Strasburger, a professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine and a spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatrics, commented, "cigarettes are still the most heavily advertised drug in America ... it's sad." (Source: www.google.com/hostednews/ap)

Labels: cigarettes, marketing, smoking

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:31 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Study: Obesity as Dangerous as Heavy Smoking

Obesity causes as many early deaths as does a 10-cigarette-a-day smoking habit.

Researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden studied 45,000 men ages 16 to 19 years old, and then followed up with them about 20 years later. Those who smoked more than ten cigarettes a day and who were also obese at the greatest risk for premature death, being five times more likely to die than non-smokers of healthy weights. Smoking between one and ten cigarettes a day was the equivalent of being overweight, but not obese.

Alone, obesity and heavy smoking each doubled the risk of premature death.

This study appeared in the British Medical Journal.

Labels: health, obesity, smoking

posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:43 PM 0 comments

Sunday, April 05, 2009

New Stationary Bikes Simulate Outdoor Experience

A new kind of stationary bicycle provides users with the feeling that they are moving, which leads to a more effective workout.

The new stationary bikes twist and tilt so that riders have to use more muscle groups to negotiate imaginary curves and other hazards. One of the hardest things to do is to maintain a leaning position while you stand up on the pedals, because in real life your bicycle would tip over.

"It's a great way to prepare for the outside," personal trainer Toussaint McCrae said about the bikes, though he noted that "there are things you cannot have inside, like wind resistance."

Labels: activities, exercise

posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:39 PM 0 comments

Friday, April 03, 2009

College Students Believe Effort Should Be Rewarded by Good Grades

A study from the University of California at Irvine found that 33 percent of college students believe they should earn grades of B or higher just because they attend lectures. About 40 percent said they should get Bs for doing the required reading.

This study, which appears in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence, reinforces the opinions of many college professors that students today have an increased sense of entitlement when it comes to grades.

"Students often confuse the level of effort with the quality of work," said Dr. James Hogge, associate dean of the Peabody School of Education at Vanderbilt University. "There is a mentality in students that 'if I work hard, I deserve a high grade.'"

Dr. Aaron Brower, vice provost for teaching and learning at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, believes that their attitude "stems from their K-12 experiences. They have become ultra-efficient in test preparation, and this hyper-efficiency has led them to look for a magic formula to get high scores."

Nearly 66 percent of the students in the UC study believe that if they told their professors how hard they were trying, that should count toward a higher grade.

Labels: college, grades, students

posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:35 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Media Exposure Linked to Early Sex, Aggression in Teens

Two new studies indicate that the kinds of media teens consume might affect their behaviors in a negative way.

Dr. Chih Hung Ko, a professor at Kaohsiung Medical University in Taiwan, found that teens who are "addicted" to the Internet are more likely to be aggressive. After surveying more than 9,400 Taiwanese teenagers, Dr. Ko and his colleagues found that those who used the Internet in a compulsive way were also more likely to tell the researchers that they had hit, shoved or threatened someone in the past year. Teens who are "addicted" to the Internet experience "withdrawal" symptoms, such as moodiness, when the Internet becomes unavailable to them.

This study was published in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

The second study involved listening to sexually degrading lyrics and having sex at an age earlier than average.

After classifying musical lyrics as either degrading or non-degrading, Dr. Primack and his colleagues surveyed more than 700 American teenagers about their musical choices and age of sexual initiation.

"There does seem to be a strong association between sexual experience and music with degrading lyrics, and yet the same relationship does not hold with non-degrading lyrics in other sexually-explicit songs," said Prof. Brian Primack of the University of Pittsburgh.

This study was published in the journal Pediatrics.

Critics were quick to point out that neither study demonstrates that media exposure causes the behaviors in question. In other words, aggressive teens may be more likely to use the Internet, and sexually active teens may be more likely to listen to degrading lyrics.

Labels: aggression, media_infuences, sex

posted by ByParents-forParents at 6:46 PM 0 comments

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