News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

As more parents become aware of the problems posed by corporal punishment, spanking seems to be employed less often means of correcting children. But as writer Hillary Stout reports in her Oct. 21 New York Times article, the decline of spanking hasn't necessarily been accompanied by a rise in more logical approaches to parenting:

"I've worked with thousands of parents and I can tell you, without question, that screaming is the new spanking," said Amy McCready, the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, which teaches parenting skills in classes, individual coaching sessions and an online course.

"This is so the issue right now. As parents understand that it's not socially acceptable to spank children, they are at a loss for what they can do. They resort to reminding, nagging, timeout, counting 1-2-3 and quickly realize that those strategies dont work to change behavior. In the absence of tools that really work, they feel frustrated and angry and raise their voice. They feel guilty afterward, and the whole cycle begins again." ...

Parental yelling today may be partly a releasing of stress for multitasking, overachieving adults, parenting experts say.

"Yelling is done when parents feel irritable and anxious," said Harold S. Koplewicz, the founder of the New York University Child Study Center. "It can be as simple as 'I'm overwhelmed, I'm running late for work, I had a fight with my wife, I have a project due  and my son left his homework upstairs.' "

Labels: parenting, spanking, communication

Posted By: Aspen/CRC