News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

A study that was published in the November issues of Pediatrics magazine links television watching with the prevalence of risky sexual behavior in teenagers. The study tracked the television viewing and sexual habits of more than 2,000 teens over a three-year period.

Girls who regularly watched racy shows were twice as likely to become pregnant during the course of the three-year study as those who watched few such programs. Almost two out of three girls who watched a lot of sexual content got pregnant, and one third of the boys interviewed said they had gotten a girl pregnant.

The rate of pregnancy was consistent regardless of age - 12-year-olds were as likely to get pregnant as 17-year-olds were. The researchers said that the study emphasizes the importance of a continued dialogue between parents and children about sex - a conversation that should begin before the children enter their teen years. Source: Wisconsin Rapids Tribune

Labels: risky_behavior, sex, tv

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Parents are often astounded by how something as simple as listening can benefit their relationship with their children.

Even though it's simple, listening takes time and effort, things that most of us are short on these days. So practice this coming week. Whenever you can, drop everything when your children have something to say, no matter their age. Use eye contact and your full attention to communicate that nothing is more important at that moment.

Listen with quiet enthusiasm, concentrate on what they are saying, and most importantly, listen more than you talk.

Taking time to listen at the end of the day, just before bedtime, can create special moments between you and your child. It shows your children that you care about what's going on in their lives, and that they matter enough for you to set time aside just for them. Source: NewsSentinel (Knoxville, TN)

Labels: communication, relationships, listening

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Having a child who doesn't want to go to school is not unusual. However, if your children seem especially defiant or unwilling to go, take time to find out what their reasons are.

"For young children, it may be due to the adjustment to the routine and structure of school versus home. It may also be social reasons, such as being overwhelmed by the sheer number of kids around them, or it could even be due to bullying."

Don't talk only to your child. Get in touch with teachers, school administrators, and even bus drivers. If there's a serious problem, you'll want - and need - their help. Source: This Week (Canada)

Labels: social-skills, school, bullying

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Is it possible for children to read too much? One parent worries that the answer might be "yes," so she sought advice from a specialist in child development.

"There's no doubt that being an avid reader will help your daughter be successful in school. Does she seem to comprehend what she's reading? You might consider reading a book that she's reading and discuss it with her. You can also ask a librarian if there might be a book club or discussion group for kids her age."

The specialist also suggested limiting where and when the child can read - for example, not at the dinner table, and not late at night. As long as the child has healthy friendships and does well in school, her appetite for reading will only benefit her as she grows up. Source: The Seattle Times

Labels: education, school, reading

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A concerned parent recently wrote in to an advice column with a question about her teenage daughter, whose friends are all boys. "Is that OK?", the parent wanted to know.

"Knowing how to relate to the opposite sex will only serve her well as she matures. When she's working with a group on a project for school, she'll have experience managing herself with guys. When she lands a job, she'll have knowledge as to how to communicate with her male co-workers, bosses and subordinates."

As long as the friends are just friends (and aren't engaging in risky behavior), the daughter should be just fine, said a behavioral specialist,. The specialist suggested that the concerned parent should get to know the boys her daughter is spending time with by inviting them to spend time at her house or offering to give them rides to their activities. Source: The Seattle Times

Labels: sex, boundaries, friends

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Telling your children to follow rules is one thing; showing them how by doing it yourself is another. This is a lesson that one Oregon mom failed to teach when she objected to a book her son had checked out from his high school library.

"She declared to the world, or at least the Pacific Northwest, that she would not return the book and would, in fact, burn it. She also claimed that if the library tried to replace the book, she would 'have somebody else check it out' and she'd keep that one, too."

Whether she realized it or not, she set the example for her son that you don't have to follow rules that you don't like or agree with. It can be easy for parents to forget that teens don't just listen to what we say, they watch what we do. And if our words and actions don't line up, we can become our own children's excuse for breaking rules. Source: Statesman Journal (OR)

Labels: rules, consequences, role_models

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One-third of students in a new Nielsen survey told researchers that their parents would disapprove of what they do online.

The students who were surveyed told researchers that they watch videos or go to websites that depict alcoholism, drug abuse, self-mutilation, eating disorders, and pornography. Nielsen did the research for the Office of National Drug Control (OFNDC) in June.

• One in twenty said they view drug- and alcohol-related videos that promote or treat the subject in a light-hearted way.



• One in eight told researchers that someone had spread a nasty rumor about them online.



• One in eleven reported that someone had posted an embarrassing picture of them online.



• Many view pornography, with the average age of first exposure to porn being eleven.

OFNDC director John Walters said many parents remain clueless about their children's online activities, and worry too much about sexual predators on the Internet.

"Parents read news stories about Internet pedophiles, and they understandably worry about their children being exposed to online pornography," Walters said. "But they may not be aware how pervasive this content is, and how young the children are who are being exposed to this. Parents are not worrying about drug, alcohol and other dangerous content online and how it impacts their child's behavior."

Labels: internet, interferring, independence

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A new survey of 1,100 teenagers found that 99 percent of boys and 94 percent of girls play video games.

Perhaps the most surprising result of the survey was that video gaming is not an isolated pursuit. About 75 percent of respondents said that they play games with friends at least some of the time, and 65 percent reported played with others in the same room.

A third of the teens, including the younger group (ages 12 to 14), play games with mature content recommended for adults only. However, 52 percent said the games made them think about moral and ethical issues.

The Pew Institute performed the survey with support from the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.

Learn more at Video Game Addiction

Labels: video_games, teenagers, teen_culture

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A survey of parents of college-bound seniors found that most parents are encouraging their children to consider in-state public universities or otherwise limit their choices to inexpensive institutions. The survey, conducted by ApplyWise.com, found that 88 percent plan to limit spending because of today's economic downturn. Less than a third said economic factors would not influence their college selections.

Two-thirds of those who were surveyed said that they intend to apply for need-based scholarships, and 53 percent will ask for government and private loans. Many plan more drastic ways of financing college: seven percent will sell real estate, 11 percent will liquidate a retirement fund, and 27 percent will take out a second mortgage.

Labels: college, economics, student_loans

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A survey of 2,700 middle- and high school students found that almost three-fourths consider themselves friendly, honest, and smart. More than 80 percent said their parents make them feel good about themselves, and 60 percent reported having close relationships with parents.

The survey from Teens Today research also found that if young people spend time with their parents, they are less likely to drink (67 percent vs. 43 percent) or to use drugs (87 percent compared to 77 percent).

The survey was sponsored by Students against Destructive Decisions.

Labels: parental-involvement, relationships, role models

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The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has asked the nation's governors to raise the legal age for driving to 17 years old.

During the Governors' Highway Safety Association meeting in September, Anne Fleming and other Institute personnel presented a report that indicates that raising the driving age lowers both the crash rate and death rate among teenagers.

Currently, most states license drivers at age 16, although South Dakota allows 14-year-olds to drive. Six states and the District of Columbia have a legal age of 16.5, and only New Jersey's is 17 years old. Great Britain's age for driving is 17, although most European nations require drivers to be at least 18 years old.

"It's a hard sell to go against that double push of parents wanting to get out of the chauffeur business and teens wanting to drive," Ms. Fleming said, but she and others pointed to data from New Jersey that shows seventeen-year-olds have better driving records than sixteen-year-olds.

"Teen brains develop quickly between sixteen and eighteen, so older teens can better access risks," said Dr. Clea McNeely, executive director of Johns Hopkins Center for Adolescent Health. "It would definitely reduce morbidity, no doubt about it. However, it is really hard on families when kids can't drive."

The Institute's proposal comes at a time when more than 100 college presidents have asked governors to work toward lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18.

Labels: driving, safety

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Students who attend weekly religious services have grade-point averages that are 0.144 higher than the GPAs of those who never worship, according to a new study from the University of Iowa. Teens who attend regular services - even those who said that religion was not important to them - also have lower dropout rates, and report being happier in school.

Researchers concluded that worship involves regular contact with adults from different generations who can serve as role models, more communication and friendships among teens and parents who share similar values, and more participation in extra-curricular activities.

Dr. Jennifer Glanville said that she wanted her study to help parents who are not interested in attending church services give their children the advantage of "allowing access to the same beneficial social networks and opportunities that religious institutions provide."

This study appears in Sociological Quarterly.

Labels: influences, grades, religion

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Text messaging is coming under increased scrutiny in the aftermath of a California train accident that left 25 dead and 150 injured. Apparently, the train engineer was sending and receiving text messages prior to the collision of two trains September 12.

State legislators are introducing laws that ban texting while driving, and an association of emergency room doctors warned that they are seeing more injuries and deaths stemming from trying to text while doing something else.

"The act of text messaging automatically removes ten IQ points," said Paul Saffo, a Silicon Valley consultant on technology. "The truth is ... you don't want to do mushroom hunting and bird watching at the same time. ... We have all seen people walk into parking meters or even into oncoming traffic and seem startled by cars."

Many of the initiatives against texting are aimed at teenagers. According to the Nielsen research company, the average teen sends and receives more than 1,740 messages a month. One study by an insurance group found that 40 percent of people ages 16 to 30 years old admit to texting while driving.

Labels: text_messaging, regulations

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Empathy is defined as the ability to feel what someone else is feeling; to step into their situation or perspective and understand what they are experiencing. Though empathy can be difficult to put into practice, it can be a powerful and effective parenting tool.

"When the focus is on competitive communication, whoever gets the other person to understand their point of view wins. Using empathy turns this upside down..."

Some parents worry that teenagers will equate empathy with the condoning of bad behavior. But in fact, while empathy shows concern, it can also lower a teen's defenses and make him or her more likely to take advice or receive correction. Source: The Chilliwack Progress (British Columbia)

Labels: perspective, empathy, perceptions

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Many experts feel that too many medications, especially those that are designed to treat mood and behavioral issues, are being prescribed to young people. Ritalin prescriptions for U.S. kids, for example, rose from 900,000 in 1990 to 5 million in 2000.

"From my diminutive observations in Northwest Ohio, having worked in one school district for over 25 years, I am amazed at the increase in teens diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. The practice of prescribing psychotropic drugs to kids has snowballed, regardless of the unknown side effects." (Rachel Morton, retired school psychologist)

Morton went on to caution both parents and doctors against the "quick fix" of medication, encouraging them instead to explore behavior modification solutions first. Source: News-Messenger (OH)

Labels: teens, overmedicated, psychotropic drugs

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Adolescence is marked by a series of incremental steps toward independence. One of the bigger steps teens take is into the world of dating. Though some may have had boyfriends and girlfriends in middle school, high school relationships are more serious, and can fill parents with anxiety.

"Teens will be making decisions on their dates, but they still need boundaries from a parent. Some policies you and your teen might agree on: A curfew. No alcohol. Date details should be known. And number one on the list... should be 'Don't ever do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.' Teach your child that she is special. It will give her more courage to handle peer pressure and say no."

Communication is key when teenagers start dating. Though some of the conversations may be awkward, they need to happen, none-the-less. Discuss healthy relationships, the dangers of dating, and even the worries you have as a parent. But give your teenager plenty of time to talk, too. Source: Metro Kids

Labels: dating, communication, independence

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The increasing number of television shows that focus on rich teenagers is affecting the pocketbooks of real parents. Fictional TV characters can easily sport the latest trends from Coach or Abercrombie, because they don't have to pay for it. But how can real parents help their children understand that expensive purses just don't fit into the family budget?

"Estimate how much you spend a year on your kids' clothes and then divide it by four (for each season) or 12 (for each month). Younger kids can be in charge of just part of the budget, and older kids can try the whole thing, says Atlanta pediatrician Jennifer Shu... The strategy allows kids to complain about Abercrombie's prices instead of 'how cheap you are'..."

Psychologist Margot Touris also suggests talking to kids about the shows they watch. For example, children who watch Gossip Girl may think that the show depicts real life for most teenagers, when in fact it's only reality for a select few. Also, the clothing that many celebrities wear is given to them - another fact that may help teens put their fashion needs and wants into proper perspective. Source: Newsweek

Labels: influences, celebrities, clothing

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For years, the entertainment industry has placed ratings on products such as movies, television programs, and video games. But do these ratings have the desired effect? Do parents use them, or even know what they mean?

"While about 80 percents of parents use the MPAA's ratings, the number drops precipitously for TV ratings, where as few as 39 percent of parents said they used them. When quizzed about the exact meanings of TV ratings, parents fared even worse, with only 18 percent recognizing that 'FV' in a TV rating had something to do with violence... and 5 percent understanding that 'D' stood for dialogue with sexual intent or innuendo."

The rating systems can also have the adverse effect of increasing the appeal of a movie, TV show, or video game's appeal by adding the allure of being officially "off limits". Source: Cognitive Daily

Labels: media_infuences, role_models, ratings

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Energy drinks should have warning labels describing the health risks of caffeine, according to researchers from Johns Hopkins University.

"We need to label the amount of caffeine and label it prominently - not in fine print," said Dr. Roland Griffiths, lead author of a study on the matter. "At the very least, we should know how much caffeine is in the product, and we should have some indication of what the drug does."

Dr. Griffiths noted that young children are becoming addicted to these drinks, which can have same effect on their bodies as eight cups of instant coffee can have on an adult. Caffeine can cause headaches, insomnia, bed-wetting, anxiety, tremors, nausea, diarrhea, and more rarely, seizures, high blood pressure, and heart palpitations.

Energy drinks typically contain between 50 to 100mg of caffeine per serving, compared to 20mg in a cup of tea, and 80mg in a small coffee. Compounding the problem, many teenagers often mix energy drinks with alcohol.

Labels: health risks, caffeine, energy drinks

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