News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Kim's teenage daughter had ridden her favorite horse thousands of times. She'd gone to the barn, saddled the horse, and taken it to the riding ring thousands of times. But this one time, a new horse in the barn attacked her daughter's horse, and her daughter had to scramble for safety.

"I asked her if the worst part was being scared she would be kicked or not being able to help her horse. She didn't hesitate, telling me the helpless feeling as she watched her horse get hurt was the worst. Welcome to parenthood. Every parent can relate to that pit in the stomach when something happens to our children and we can't fix it."

Kim reminded her daughter that she did the right thing by getting out of the way. Then she gave some advice that she knew she needed to follow as well: You can't second-guess your actions, you can only learn from them. Parents can't prevent every bad thing that happens to their kids, but they can learn from the situation - and help their kids learn as well. Source: Haven (NC) News

Labels: control, independence, safety

Setting and monitoring rules regarding computer use has always been challenging for parents. But laptops (provided or required by some high schools) present a new set of challenges: Students need them for homework, but how do parents make sure that homework is what they're actually using them for?

"Like many other child care professionals, Dr. [Tami] Amiri advocates keeping all computers on the dining room table or other public spot, with the screen in view of an adult, and limiting time spent on non-academic subjects."

While laptops can make it hard for parents to enforce rules, Amiri advises that there should still be rules in place, with clear consequences when those rules aren't followed. Source: The New York Times

If you're worried your teen is spending too much time in front of a computer or TV screen, visit Video Game Addiction to learn more.

Labels: addictions, internet, video_games

In what may have been a clever ratings move or - as producer Tom Shelly states - a genuine attempt to address the issues of teen pregnancy, NBC is launching a new series titled "The Baby Borrowers," in which teenage couples provide round-the-clock care for someone else's children.

"Unlike other reality shows, which are primarily interested in putting its players on the edge of a hot tub or a nervous breakdown, 'Borrowers' appears to be genuinely sincere about its mission: show teenage viewers that parenthood is a very grown-up grind."

An 18-year-old girl from New Hampshire who appears in the series said she got just that kind of wake up call. Kelsey Lampman went into the show thinking she had enough experience and good sense to handle full-time parenthood. By the end, however, she admitted that she needs to wait for the right time and the right person. "The Baby Borrowers" is scheduled to air Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on NBC. Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune

Youth Care teen residential treatment program offers a parenting course for pregnant teens. Visit to learn about their "Baby Think It Over" program.

Labels: reality, responsibility, tv

Many parents have heard the myth that they must develop a good relationship with their child before she's a teenager - otherwise, it's too late. But this is simply not true. It's never too late to start building a healthy relationship with your child.

"The first step in relationship building is to acknowledge that something you did was wrong..... You must be willing to apologize for what you've done. Not a blanket apology, 'I'm sorry I've not been the parent you deserve,' but a specific apology and what you intend to do to change your behavior to make things better."

Be willing to apologize and make amends where needed - and be prepared to take not just the first step, but the first several steps. It will take time for your teenager to believe and trust that you're sincere about wanting a better relationship. Source: Gant Daily

Read Five Steps to Rebuilding Trust Between Parents and Teens for more ways to strengthen your relationship with your teenager.

Labels: communication, relationships, trust

While summer means time off for students, the majority of their parents are still working five days a week. If your teen is going to be staying home alone during the day, take some proactive steps to make sure that his day includes more than just sleeping, television, and video games.

"Establish a routine and write it down. Set a time to get up, a time to have breakfast, a chore to be completed. Perhaps some reading before television or letter writing to pen pals or grandparents can be added."

Also, spend some time discussing the appropriate ways to handle certain situations, such as a stranger coming to the door, or an emergency in the home. Set a daily "call time" when then your teen is expected to call you and check in.

And - as is always the case when it comes to parenting a teen - have a Plan B ready in you're your original approach doesn't work out. Source: About.com

Read Summer Vacation Is Almost Here - Do You Know Where Your Teen Will Be? for more information.

Labels: planning, routines, summer

A report released by one of the world's oldest and largest international development agencies says that the failure to adequately educate girls costs developing nations more than $92 billion every year.

According to Plan, a child-centered community rights group, data provided by the World Bank and the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) indicates that the cost of failing to educate girls almost equals the developed world's $103 billion annual overseas development aid budget.

The group's report, Paying the Price: The economic cost of failing to educate girls, says that "those who oppose girls' education are doing great damage not only to the girls and their families but also to wider communities and economies." The report's "Reflecting on the numbers" section includes the following observations:

• Countries in South and West Asia and sub-Saharan Africa have the worst record on educating girls to secondary level. India alone misses out on potential economic growth worth about $33 billion per annum. Other major losers include Turkey ($20 billion) and Russia ($9.8 billion).



• Nine countries in sub-Saharan Africa have a gap of 10 percentage points or more between the proportion of girls educated to secondary level and the proportion of boys. Yet, despite this poor record, the region's total lost annual growth ($5.3 billion) is limited by the small size of its economies.



• By contrast, just two countries in South and Central America fail to educate girls to the same standard as boys. Indeed, many have more girls in secondary education than boys.

The report did include some good news for advocates of girls' education, noting that net primary enrollment rates for girls across the globe increased from 78 percent in 1990 to 85 percent in 2005, and that secondary enrollment for girls had improved from 47 percent to 57 percent over the same 15 years.

Labels: economics, education, girls

A report by an education advocacy organization says that the 1.2 million students who drop out of U.S. high schools every year inflict a significant financial burden on themselves and their communities.

According to the Alliance for Excellent Education, high school dropouts earn an average of $9,634 less every year than do those who earned their diplomas. Extending this financial disparity into the future, the group estimates that the dropouts from the class of 2008 alone will deprive the U.S. economy of $319 billion in income throughout their lifetimes.

The authors of the organization's June 2008 "Issue Brief" on this topic indicate that graduating from high school is good for both student and society:

Everyone benefits from increased graduation rates. The graduates themselves, on average, will earn higher wages and enjoy more comfortable and secure lifestyles. At the same time, the nation benefits from their increased purchasing power, collects higher tax receipts, and sees higher levels of worker productivity.

The AEE's website states that the organization's mission is "to promote high school transformation to make it possible for every child to graduate prepared for postsecondary education and success in life." The group focuses its efforts on the low-achieving students who are most likely either to drop out or to graduate from high school without mastering the skills necessary to pursue a productive future.

Labels: dropouts, future, grades

Representatives from the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, web domain company Go Daddy, and a host of other organizations have asked Congress to impose additional restrictions on the online pharmacy industry as a means of fighting the illegal distribution of prescription medication.

According to the McClatchy news service, the DEA has requested that Congress pass legislation requiring a valid prescription written after a face-to-face medical evaluation as a precursor to making a prescription drug purchase over the Internet.

Testifying June 24, 2008, before the House Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, and Homeland Security, Joseph Rannazzisi, the deputy assistant administrator of the DEA's Office of Diversion Control, noted that while a normal brick-and-mortar pharmacy fills about 180 prescriptions a day (11 of which are for anti-anxiety or pain-killing medication), an average illicit online pharmacy processes more than 400 daily sales of controlled substances.

The problem of online pharmacies "isn't just about people trying to save money on prescription drugs by unknowingly buying counterfeit brand name pills," Christine Jones, Go Daddy's general counsel, told the subcommittee. "This is about young kids who use their parents' credit card, tell them they are buying music or video games and instead stock the weekly party with enough ecstasy for them and all their friends. This is very, very serious."

The June 24 meeting was not the first time that Congress has looked at the online pharmaceutical industry. During a May 16, 2007 hearing by the Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Joseph A. Califano of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse referred to the Internet as "a pharmaceutical candy store, its shelves stacked with an array of addictive prescription drugs offering a high to any kid with a credit card number at the click of a mouse."

Labels: internet, prescription_drugs, safety

A survey conducted by Cingular Wireless found that 63 percent of parents who text-message their children said it improved communication within the family. Child psychologist Dr. Greg Ramey agrees:

"'If you are calling a teen to remind them to come home at a certain time, (or) calling to say hi, it can be embarrassing for teenagers,' [Ramsey] said. 'A text asking if all is OK, are you having fun is a way to let them know you care and to connect.'"

Though texting may seem hard for some parents to learn, many cell phone store associates are willing to teach customers the basics. Source: Dayton Daily News

Read Text Your Teen 4 Better Communication to learn more.

Labels: communication, relationships, text_messaging

The instruction manual parents have been looking for may have finally arrived. At least, that's how Stephanie Ferguson, Adolescence Editor for BellaOnline, feels about a new book by Dr. Sylvia Rimm.

"In her book How to Parent So Children Will Learn: Strategies for Raising Happy, Achieving Children, Dr. Rimm provides practical, no-nonsense advice for addressing both the mundane tasks of living day-to-day as well as deeper issues that we may encounter while raising our progeny."

The book is divided into four chapters, each of which includes a chapter summary, illustrations, sample activities and dialogues, and a frequently asked questions section. Dr. Rimm designed her book with the busy parent in mind, presenting her information in a manner that is simple, straightforward and easily accessible. Source: BellaOnline.

Labels: advice, books, parenting_tips

Most people are aware that 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. But many don't know is that about one million children experience divorce right along with their parents - and a poorly handled divorce can be traumatic for kids.

"[Barbara] Cochran [of Community Counseling Services] described children responding to conflict in their parents' divorce in very different manners. Some act out with delinquent or violent behavior and an uncontrolled anger, others simply isolate themselves and fall into depression, substance abuse or frequent headaches, accidents or injuries. She also showed how children in homes of great conflict do not interact well with others, or have trouble with school."

The bottom line is that children need their parents, and parents need to make the health and well-being of their kids a priority - even in cases of divorce. Source: Telegraph Forum

Labels: divorce, relationships, trauma

Let's face it: We live in a world where bad things happen. If something traumatic happens to your family, or in your neighborhood, your kids will need to process their emotions - and they may need some help from you.

"Stick to routines. It is easiest for children to deal with stress when they feel comfortable and know what to expect. Minimize exposure to the media. Do not let children repeatedly view footage of traumatic events, and avoid letting them watch footage alone."

Take some extra time to reassure your child that she is safe, and talk about what happened in terms your child can understand. Because children process trauma at differing rates, be sure to give your child plenty of opportunities to ask questions and talk about how they're feeling. Source: WISinfo

Labels: stress, therapy, trauma

A recent study found that levels of physical activity drop significantly when children enter their teen years. Summer can be the perfect time for kids to do less, as parents are at work, there's no school, and they're not participating in extra-curricular activities.

"Experts suggest teens spend an hour a day engaged in physical activity, and when you compare that with the 6 hours per day that the average teen spends in front of screens, it really isn't that significant."

You can help your teen stay active by encouraging his interests, whether it's team sports or skateboarding. You can also set a good example by staying active yourself. In addition, try assigning "active" chores like lawn mowing or car washing. Source: San Marcos Daily Record

Labels: activities, exercise, summer

Scientists at the University of Vermont found a link between social problems in childhood and depression in later life. However, they are unsure if social problems cause depression or vice versa.

Professor Keith Burt led the study using data from Project Competence, in which a group of more than 200 people submitted information over a 20-year period beginning when they were between 8 and 12 years old.

Dr. Burt found that people who were not socially competent as children and teenagers were at greater risk for anxiety and depression, even when he considered other explanations such as social class and intelligence.

Dr. Burt said the study indicates that "youth at risk for depression might benefit from interventions focused on building healthy relationships with peers."

Labels: depression, social-skills

Many family vacations include a stop or extended stay in Washington, D.C. As our nation's capital, it's a favorite summertime destination. The rich history is fun for adults, but can kids enjoy it, too?

"One spot we like is the Rock Creek Park Nature Center (at the North end on the D.C. map) located just off Military Road, NW. The park, with hiking trails, creeks and scenic views, has rangers on horseback, which delight kids. The Nature Center has a separate Discovery Room, with an array of items for youngsters to handle, a planetarium, and even stables nearby for horseback riders."

If you have kids of varying ages, consider sending one adult with each child to age-appropriate attractions. There's also a huge underground cafeteria between the East and West wings of the National Gallery - a great place to cool off and grab some ice cream. Source: Fodor's

Labels: independence, summer, vacation

Summer means a lot more free time for teenagers. Though they may have summer jobs, they don't have homework, sports, or other extra-curricular activities. Take some extra steps to ensure that the lazy days of summer are safe ones.

"It's important for parents to create an atmosphere of open communication with their teens, especially during the summer months when teens have more free time. ... Along with setting firm rules and guidelines, parents can teach teens critical decision-making skills to help them make responsible choices - including not drinking when underage."

Parents have far more influence than they realize. According to the 2007 GfK Roper Youth Report, 69 percent of teenagers say their parents are the top influencers on their decisions regarding drugs and alcohol. Source: Albion (Indiana) New Era

Labels: safety, summer

The transition from high school to college can be hard. As your teen prepares to make this shift, there are some things you can do to help.

"Be excited for them. If you are struggling to let them go, then it is OK to tell them that, but do not put pressure on them to worry about you. They are likely feeling overwhelmed by it all or are so excited that they don't want to be bothered by your struggle."

Take time to listen. Give your teenager the chance to express himself, to talk about his fears, concerns, and hopes about this new phase of his life. Don't smother your teen, but be available to spend time with him and reassure him that you're there for him. Source: Clarion Ledger

Learn more about college prep boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: college, support, transitions

A study by European researchers has found that excessive cell phone use can inhibit a teen's ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. The study reviewed cell phone usage and sleep patterns of 21 healthy teens, ages 14 to 20.

"Results showed that compared with light cell phone users, teens who were heavy users had a harder time getting up in the morning... woke up more often during the night, spent more time tossing and turning before falling asleep..."

Researchers were surprised to find no difference in mental states, depression, and anxiety between heavy and light cell phone users. Still, the study's results highlight the importance of structured and reasonable cell phone usage. Source: CBS News

Learn more: The Latest Teen Obsession: Is Your Child a Cell Phone Junkie?

Labels: cell_phones, sleep_deprivation

Passing laws that make it illegal for teenagers to drive while talking on cell phones do little good, according to a new study from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. The reasons are that teens ignore the laws and police do not enforce them. Police officers told researchers that it is impossible for them to tell which drivers are teens or if they are using hands-free devices, which are legal in some states.

Researchers watched teenagers driving out of high schools in North and South Carolina before and after such laws passed. About 12% of the students drove while talking on their phones, no matter what the law was.

Seventeen states and the District of Columbia have passed laws restricting teen cell phone use while driving.

Barbara Harsha, director of the Governors Highway Safety Association, said "the laws send a message to parents more than anything else."

Is Your Child a Cell Phone Junkie? Find out now!

Labels: cell_phones, driving

A study of British teenagers found that this generation is becoming more independent of their parents and more likely to be influenced by their peers, turning to members of their own age group for guidance and emotional support. This puts the youth at higher risk for drinking, smoking, and using drugs.

Researchers from the World Health Organization who surveyed 200,000 children at ages 11, 13, and 15 years old in 41 countries found that British teens ranked third for alcohol consumption. Forty percent of British 15-year-olds reported drinking at least once a week. The more time they spent with friends in the evening, the more likely the teens were to abuse alcohol and other substances.

"There is something very interesting going on about where young people are getting their support," said Candace Currie, lead author and director of the Children's and Adolescent Health Research Unit at the University of Edinburgh. "It's shifting from the home and parents to their school and peers."

Labels: independence, peers, support

Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh Medical School have found a link between chronic insomnia in parents with and suicidal thoughts and behaviors in their teenage children. Only 1.7% of teens whose parents do not have sleep disturbances attempt suicide, compared to 9.5% of teens whose parents have chronic insomnia.

Chronic insomnia is defined as ongoing sleep disturbances such as trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, as well as waking up too early. People with depression and bipolar disorder often suffer from chronic insomnia - and this recent study indicates that if parents have this condition, the risk of suicidal thoughts in their teenaged children is tripled.

Dr. Xianchen Liu, a professor of psychiatry at University of Pittsburgh, presented the study at a meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies.

Labels: influences, insomnia, suicide

Piercings of the in and around the mouth can lead to tooth loss, broken teeth, and gum disease, according to a study published in the American Dental Journal.

Dr. Yehuda Zadik, who co-authored the study with Dr. Tal Becker, warned that a piercing causes "repeated trauma to the gum area and is in many cases a precursor to tooth loss," most often the front teeth. Piercings can also cause periodontal disease.

Zadik and Becker studied teenagers from around the world, and discovered that the percentages of teens with such piercings varied from 20 percent in Israel to 3.4 percent in Finland.

Both dentists advise parents to dissuade teens from getting piercings. However, if the teen is insistent, tell him to have the piercing performed by a person who uses disposable tools. The teen should rinse regularly with a chloroxidine mouthwash for two weeks after the procedure, and should have the piercing professionally cleaned twice a year to remove tartar buildup and calculus formation.

Labels: health, piercings

Only 4% of American and European children will experience the sudden death of a parent. However, that event puts them at a threefold risk for depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS).

Dr. Nadine Melham of the University of Pittsburgh Medical School compared 140 children who had lost a parent to suicide, accident, or sudden natural death to children with two living parents. She found that the children who had lost a parent suddenly were at high risk for depression, and that it did not matter if the death was a suicide. The children fared worse if their caregivers were suffering from depression, PTSS, anxiety, or other psychological disorders.

This study appears in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

Labels: death, depression, post-traumatic-stress

A small high school in Gloucester, Massachusetts, has seventeen pregnant students - four times as many as last year. What's most shocking to many of the town's residents is that some of the girls apparently agreed to have babies as a group and then raise their children together.

There may be even more members of the "pregnancy pact," because administrators at a local clinic are reporting that an unusual number of teens are coming in for pregnancy tests and then expressing disappointed if the results are negative.

Half of the pregnant girls are under age 16, and some of their sexual partners may have been in their 20s, according to the New York Times.

Gloucester is a small town of 30,000. Mayor Caroline Kirk said that the town's economy is bad because of a decline in the fishing industry, and many families are suffering.

"It's the social environment," she said. "These girls think a baby can give them love or status or fill an empty space in their life, and they are very very young."

Labels: pregnancy

When high schools start their school day later students get more sleep, and that's a good thing, according to a new study from Norwalk Hospital Sleep Disorder Center in Connecticut.

Researchers followed 259 students whose starting time changed from 7:35 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. Students used the time to sleep an extra half hour in the mornings, but did not change their bedtimes, which averaged around 11 p.m.

Previous studies have shown that increased sleep is linked to better grades and motivation, less emotional disturbance, and even reductions in ADHD symptoms. However, this does not mean that lack of sleep causes those conditions.

Author Mary O'Malley presented this study at the annual meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies.

Labels: school, sleep_deprivation