News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

People who form close relationships with at least one of their siblings during childhood lower their risk for depression as adults, according to a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry.

Professor Robert Waldinger, M.D., of Harvard Medical School analyzed results of an ongoing 68-year study of 229 men that began when they were children. Poor relationships with siblings and a family history of depression could predict if a man would experience major depression and use mood-altering drugs after age 50.

On the other hand, those with a close relationship with one sibling were at low risk for depression, even when Dr. Waldinger factored in other explanations, including parental relationships.

Labels: depression, relationships, siblings

A report released June 4 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that risky behavior among teenagers is declining. The study found that teens today drink, smoke, and have sex less often than their peers did 16 years ago.

"The 2007 national data were collected from 14,041 students who self-reported their behavior and included only blacks, whites and Hispanics because other populations are too few for a representative sample, the CDC said."

The only "red flag" in the CDC's findings concerned Hispanic teens. Though risky behavior declined among the members of this group, Hispanic teens are still at higher risk than their Caucasian or African-American counterparts. Source: USA Today.

If you're looking for help for your troubled teen, then visit TurnAboutRanch.com. The youth ranch programs for troubled teens offer a rural setting that removes teenagers from their destructive environments.

Labels: drinking, risky_behavior, smoking

Crisis and pain are a part of life, and children are often affected more than we realize. They may not know how to respond to traumatic events, but parents can help them through these difficult times.

"For example, some children may behave as if nothing is wrong. They may not know what to feel or say, particularly if they have mixed feelings about a loss or a person who has died."

Bertie Conrad, a youth counselor, says it's important for parents to let kids know that they're emotions - whatever they are - are OK. There are books and other resources available that can help parents know learn the best ways to talk to their children. Among the most common tips offered to parents is that they should honest with their children about their own emotions. Source: Bellvue Reporter

If your family has experienced a traumatic event, an adolescent treatment center, like Island View in Utah, may help your teenager heal wounds and work towards healthier relationships.

Labels: crisis, feelings, trauma

Summer jobs don't only provide some extra money, but also offer valuable life experience for teenagers. However, teens may have to work harder this year to get a summer job. Experts advise parents of summer job seekers to begin setting their teens' expectations early, and help them to develop a Plan B in case Plan A doesn't work out.

"Discuss the fact that if your teen is fortunate enough to find a job, it may not be what he had hoped for. The job may be part time, inconvenient hours and, yes, may not even pay that great. If your son or daughter hopes to work a little this summer in order to buy a brand new convertible in August, disappointment will surely be the result."

If Plan A - the summer job - doesn't happen; encourage your child to consider Plan B - volunteer work. This might be a difficult sell, but is a great way for teenagers to get some real world experience and learn that life isn't always about "me". Source: The Star - Cleveland County, North Carolina

If you're looking for a summer camp instead of a summer job for your child, visit SummerCampsInfo.com for a complete list of summer camps.

Labels: jobs, summer_job

A concerned parent recently wrote in to the Wall Street Journal's "Work and Family Mailbox," looking for advice about her teenage children. She's divorced, and her ex-husband allows their kids to use his house when he's out of town, even though they've been caught throwing parties. Because she's not willing to let the kids use her house, her kids say she doesn't trust them, and she isn't sure what to do.

"I'd recommend holding your ground. Your teens are simply behaving like normal adolescents, pushing boundaries and challenging rules, says Pauline Tesler, a San Francisco family-law attorney and co-author of 'Collaborative Divorce.' The limits you've set are appropriate..."

Tesler goes on to say that even the most well-intentioned teen is subject to peer pressure, which should be considered when setting rules and boundaries. She also suggests that the woman and her ex-husband work hard to come to an agreement about rules regarding empty houses and unauthorized parties. Source: The Wall Street Journal

Boarding Schools Info offers comprehensive lists of the best private schools, boarding schools, and independent schools. Find the best school for your teenager at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: boundaries, responsibility, rules

For over 30 years, ParentingPartners has offered parenting education classes in South Carolina. The goal of the classes is to prevent child abuse and neglect, and strengthen families through their many classes and programs.

"Parent Aides are professionally trained home visitors who work one-on-one with families. They teach parents to be more loving and attentive to the needs of their children."

In addition to Parent Aides, ParentingPartners offers classes on nurturing, dealing with divorce, parenting teens and tweens, and more. Source: Wach.com

New Leaf Academy girls boarding schools in North Carolina and Oregon offer a safe, nurturing environment for middle school aged girls to grow into healthy teenagers.

Labels: communication, parenting, relationships

Fewer of today's high school students are smoking, drinking, and having sex than were their counterparts in the 1990s, according to a new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Cigarette usage is down to 11 percent from 26 percent in 1991. Alcohol use declined from 27 percent to 20 percent today. The percentage of sexually active teens changed from 54 percent in 1991 to 48 percent today. Condom use went up to 61 percent from 46 percent in 1991. Today's teens are also more likely to wear seat belts, the study found.

Labels: drinking, sex, smoking

Though difficult, the current economic downturn has its bright spots. One of them is that teens are learning to live more frugally.

"Facing the likelihood of paying $4 to $5 for a gallon of gas this summer and fewer employment opportunities, teenagers are curbing their propensity to buy $100 jeans and $60 shirts in favor of bargains, with the Associated Press recently reporting that secondhand clothing chains have experienced booming business among teens and their parents looking to buy brand names for less while 'stalwart retailers of teen apparel' have taken a hit."

This is a great time for parents to have conversations with their teens about money and budgeting, helping them see the value in finding great deals and living modestly. Source: Snohomish County Business Journal

Labels: money, responsibility

Though there are lots of "doom and gloom" stories about today's teenagers, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has statistics that may put trends in adolescent behavior in a better light. According to the CDC, most teens have not had a drink in the past 30 days, few have tried marijuana, and only 50 percent of them have had sex.

"This reality can be leveraged to promote healthy choices through 'social norming'. Social norming operates on the notion that if the general impression is that most kids don't drink alcohol, then those who do drink will drink less, and fewer will start drinking."

Several high schools, middle schools, and colleges have begun using the social norming approach and found it to be very effective in curbing risky behavior. It's a strategy parents can use as well by talking to their teens about what everyone is not doing. Source: San Marcos Daily Record

Labels: behavior, stereotypes, trends

American high school students are finding their junior year to be increasingly stressful, according to a new report in the May 24, 2008 edition of the Wall Street Journal.

"It is a marathon year of tests, stress and sleepless nights," reporter Jonathan Kaufman writes. Students feel pressure to participate in as many extracurricular activities as possible to enhance their college resumes. They are taking "advanced placement courses," which are on the college level and require passing a rigorous examination to receive college credit for them. They are visiting college campuses and filling out applications. They are taking after-school courses to prepare themselves for their College Board examinations.

One survey of 2,700 middle- and upper-income students in San Francisco found that juniors felt "often or always" stressed by schoolwork. About 75% had stress-related physical problems such as headaches, insomnia, and exhaustion. Over 25% used energy drinks and over-the-counter caffeine pills to keep going, and 9% admitted to using controlled substances like Ritalin and Adderall.

Parents, teachers, and counselors often try to persuade juniors to take it easy and find time to relax. The pressure does not necessarily come from adults, but from a teen's peer group.

Labels: pressures, schoolwork, stress

By Hugh C. McBride

A parent has filed a complaint with the Morningside (Florida) Elementary School administration and is considering legal action after learning from her 5-year-old son that his teacher had led a vote by his fellow students that resulted in his being banished from the classroom.

Melissa Barton had originally filed a criminal complaint after learning that her son, Alex, had been relegated to the nurse's office on May 21, 2008, by virtue of a 14-2 "election" in his kindergarten class. However, the state attorney's office declined to file charges, noting that it felt the actions taken by the teacher did not meet the standard for child abuse.

On the day in question, Alex - who his mother said is in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a high-functioning form of autism) - had been sent to the principal's office because of bad behavior. When he returned, his teacher, Wendy Portillo, had him stand in front of the class while other students told him what they didn't like about him. They then voted that he not be allowed back in the class.

On May 29, the TC Palm website reported that the teacher had provided police with an alternate version of the events. According to a report the Port St. Lucie Police Department released that day, the teacher claimed that she was attempting to demonstrate to Alex the degree to which his behavior was having a negative effect on those around him. She also told police that the vote was to decide whether Barton should be removed from class for that day only, and was not meant to establish his permanent exile.

"Portillo said she did this as she felt that if (Alex) heard from his classmates how his behavior affected them that it would make a bigger difference to him, rather than just hearing it from adults," the police report stated.

The St. Lucie County School District and Florida's Department of Children and Families are both conducting investigations related to the incident.

Labels: school, special needs, teaching

More than two-thirds of teen drivers killed in car accidents at night were not wearing seatbelts, according to a study from the National Highway Safety Administration.

Nationally, seatbelt usage is increasing, with 82% of drivers and passengers fastening up.

However, seatbelt usage declines at night by over 20%. Car fatalities tend to occur between midnight and 3 a.m. During those hours, the fatality rate is 20 times higher than it is for daytime driving.

Nationally, about 4,400 teenagers 16 to 19 years old die in car accidents every year.

Teenagers think they're invincible - that's why they think they can do drug without becoming addcitied. If you need a rehab for teens, viist DrugRehabTreatment.com to find a teen rehab today.

Labels: driving, risky_behavior, safety

Teenagers don't tell their parents everything. No matter how open your relationship is with your child, there will always be topics that are too awkward for them to discuss with you. That's where teenagers can benefit from confidential conversations with a doctor or clinician.

"Giving a professional clinician private time with your child provides your teen a moment to freely express concerns. Maybe your teen will feel more comfortable broaching topics like drugs and alcohol, sexually transmitted diseases, and birth control with a clinician."

Some parents are hesitant to let their kids have confidential time with a doctor or nurse, thinking it will force their kids to talk to them instead. Unfortunately, all that typically does is force a young person to try and figure things out for themselves. Source: The Daily News

A good resource for teens interested in diet and nutrition is WeightLossCentral.org.

Labels: confidentiality, health, relationships

Tammy Linn is a business woman, mother, and has been married for 26 years. But as her kids begin to enter their teenage years, she thinks her most challenging years are still ahead of her. So she developed some "common-sense" tips to help get her through.

"Choose your battles. It's pretty safe to say that I disagree with many of the things my teen says and does, but if I confronted him on all the issues that are 'just not for me,' our mother-son relationship would be nonexistent."

Linn goes on to suggest that parents stop trying to figure out what their teen is thinking ("it will drive you crazy"), and that they catch their kids doing something "right" for which they can receive recognition and praise. Source: AZ Central

Stone Mountain School offers help with troubled boys. Learn more about their therapeutic boarding school at StoneMountainSchool.com.

Labels: advice, parenting_tips, teenagers

It's true; kids do say the darnedest things. But sometimes those things are embarrassing questions about their parents' past lives. What's the best way to respond if a child asks whether you drank or had sex before you got married?

"Our kids learn honesty as well as dishonesty mostly from us. So my only big rule on however you choose to answer is this: 'Never - ever - lie or deceive thy child.' Doing so only breaks down trust with your child and sends a very wrong message."

Telling the truth doesn't mean you have to tell everything; it doesn't mean that you have tell anything. Consider the child's age and developmental stage and answer honestly, but appropriately. Source: Parenting Secrets

Programs for troubled teens can help the troubled teenager as well as the entire family. Located in Escalante, Utah, Turn-About Ranch is teen ranch camp that puts families back together.

Labels: communication, honesty, respect

In recent days, MySpace has been in the news again. A federal grand jury indicted a mother whom they say played a cruel hoax - via MySpace - on a 13-year-old girl that resulted in the girl's suicide. Stories like this feed the fears many parents have about social networking sites and the Internet in general.

"Experts warn that taking MySpace away just makes the site all the more seductive for today's tech-savvy kids, who find a workaround. Also, cybersyping driven by fear of MySpace, rather than a child's bad behavior, can break the trust between a parent and child and create a rift in their relationship."

Instead, child psychologists and others recommend that parents set clear rules around Internet use, including consequences for breaking rules. Put the family computer in a common room where activity can't be hidden, and keep communication open so your child knows that she can come to you if something negative happens. Source: MSNBC

Therapeutic boarding schools, like Youth Care in Draper, Utah, help teens deal with their emotions and behaviors while they earn school credits.

Labels: internet, myspace, safety

Teens who believe that others like them and feel good about their level of social acceptance are more likely to be well-adjusted, even if they are not popular in the traditional sense, according to a new study from the University of Virginia.

On the other hand, teens who do not feel socially accepted and whom peers rate as unpopular tend to become more withdrawn, hostile, and less sought out over time.

Researchers interviewed 164 teens at age 13 and then again a year later, asking them to rate themselves and their peers in terms of likeability and popularity.

"Perceiving oneself to be liked may actually be at least as critical in determining future social outcomes for teens as actually being liked," said Dr. Kathleen McElhaney, lead author of the study, which appears in Child Development.

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome may have a hard time getting along with peers and classmates. An all girls school geared for girls with ADHD and Aspergers, like New Leaf Academy, can help.

Labels: acceptance, peer_pressure, perceptions