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News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

The By Parents For Parents Blog is regularly updated with the latest news and information on topics that relate to parenting teenagers. We'll post parenting advice and tips from trusted online news sources and expert parenting columns.

We invite you to add your comments. Please let us know if you would like some specific topics covered, want to share your experience as a parent dealing with teens, or just have general feedback on the By Parents For Parents Blog.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Online World

Cyberbullying is not a new phrase to many parents. But a recent story from Washington State puts it back in the spotlight. A Web site invites teens to anonymously post gossip about anyone they'd like - and name names - whether the gossip is true or not.

"This recent example presents a teachable moment, however, that educators, students leaders and parents should seize. For many families, it's a two-way opportunity. Parents may have as much to learn about the various ways their children are communicating these days as they can teach about doing so responsibly."

Cyberbullying is a growing problem that occurs not only on "gossip sites" but also in personal blogs, e-mails, instant messages, and even cell phone text messages. With so many different forms of communication available, parents have the tough job of teaching their kids how to use them all respectfully and responsibly. Read more at HeraldNet.com.

Labels: cyberbulling, internet, online_safety

posted by ByParents-forParents at 12:22 PM 0 comments

Monday, April 28, 2008

Teens Spending Less Money than Last Year: $70 a Week

Call it the teen recession.

Teen spending on clothes is down by more than 12% this year, and experts believe it will fall further. Teens spend over 40% of their money on fashion, according to the15th semi-annual "Taking Stock with Teens" survey.

Teens represent a huge chunk of the American economy, spending $1.65 trillion over the past ten years. The average person in the 12- to 17-year-old age group spends $70 a week, down from $83 last year.

Labels: money, teen_culture, teenagers

posted by ByParents-forParents at 6:17 PM 0 comments

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Cooperative Learning Better than Competitive Styles

Teens that learn in classrooms where students cooperate and share information score higher on tests than those in classes based on individual competition.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota analyzed data from 148 studies involving 17,000 people aged 12 to 15. Those in classes that supported students working together on projects and test preparation achieved higher scores in problem-solving, critical thinking, and reasoning compared to those who studied alone or in classes based on competitions and "winning."

"When teachers set up their classrooms in a cooperative way," said Dr. Cary Roseth, "both social and academic goals are met simultaneously. Students can interact, which is naturally what they want to do at this age."

This study appears in Psychological Bulletin.

Boarding schools can often cater to different learning styles and offer more attention to students. Find the best boarding school for your child at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: education, learning_styles, teaching

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:41 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Students Get Taste of Real Life

Lamont Jackson had to buy life insurance and health insurance - with a $78 budget. Brendan Settles had to sell his car to get the money he needed to take care of his children. These were some of the imaginary scenarios faced by students at Manassas Park High School who participated in the third annual "Making It Real" program.

"Sponsored by Synergy One Federal Credit Union, the three-hour event gave students a sometimes painful view into what it takes to live, work and play in Prince William County. Each student was given a job with a corresponding salary and all but two had children, which were designated by blue or pink beads."

Many of the students were shocked to learn how much things really cost and how hard it can be to make ends meet. Some students had to return nonessential items like big-screen televisions that put them over budget. Source: Inside NoVa

Labels: money, responsibility

posted by ByParents-forParents at 12:18 PM 0 comments

Monday, April 21, 2008

Teens Need Less TV

The average American household has three to five televisions. On average, teenagers spend more time watching TV than in school or talking to their parents.

"This should be a major cause for concern among parents, as studies have found that excessive amounts of TV can lead to obesity, poor school performance, anger issues and early sexual activity. This is because in an average year of television viewing, a teen will be exposed to more than 14,000 sexual references, over 1,000 alcohol commercials, more than 1,000 murders, rapes, assaults, and armed robberies, and nearly 20,000 commercials."

That's a lot for a teenager to take in during a year. If parents aren't active in their kids' lives, television can influence the way teens view themselves and the world around them. While some parents may be tempted to unplug the TV and pack it way in the attic, what they really need to do is simply spend more time with their kids. The messages kids get via television can be confusing and possibly damaging. They need their parents to help them process and keep a "real world" perspective. Source: Pryor Daily Times

Worried your teen is spending too much time playing video games or surfing the internet? Internet or Video Game Addiction is a real problem many parents face. Learn more at Video-Game-Addiction.org.

Labels: media_infuences, role_models, tv

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:03 AM 0 comments

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Threats Won't Work

An out-of-control teen can be a parent's worst nightmare. A parent will try anything he or she can think of to reel the teenager back in: grounding, taking away privileges, yelling, even calling the police. But often, these negative approaches don't help.

"[Mark] Hutton and many other therapists and psychologists argue for a more positive approach than threats and punishments. A key to this approach is learning new ways to communicate with teenagers."

Hutton suggests finding positive ways to communicate. For example, instead of saying "Don't yell at me," try saying "I need you to talk to me in a calmer tone of voice." Though adjustments in communication can be hard, they'll go a long way toward helping teens develop socially and emotionally. Source: WMUR.com.

Labels: communication, discipline, parenting_styles

posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:05 PM 0 comments

Friday, April 18, 2008

Overprotected and Entitled?

Today, there are so many sensational stories about kids getting abducted or sexually solicited online that parents often refuse to let their kids out of their sight. As a result, parents may over-protect their kids, trying too hard to keep them out of harm's way.

"The problem with this everything-is-dangerous outlook is that over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself. A child who thinks he can't do anything on his own eventually can't. What today's parents are teaching their kids is that they can't be independent..."

A child's self-esteem is tied closely to his ability to achieve things on his own. If he's never given the opportunity to exert his independence, he may not develop the self-confidence he'll need later in life. Source: Plastic.com.

Read "Narcissistic and Entitled to Everything! Does Gen Y Have Too Much Self-Esteem?"; if you like that article, you may want to sign up for the Parenting Tips Newsletter so you'll receive articles like that in your inbox twice a month.

Labels: entitlement, narcissism, overproteced

posted by ByParents-forParents at 8:23 AM 1 comments

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Teens' Screen-time can Equal 40 or More Hours a Week

Today's teens spend an average of 30 hours per week on "screen time," and a third of teens spend over 40 hours, according to a new Canadian study.

"Screen time" is time spent using computers, playing video games, or watching television.

Researchers questioned 1,293 Montreal 7th graders over a five-year period in a study funded by the National Cancer Institute of Canada. They found:

60% of teens spend at least 20 hours a week in front of screens.

52% of boys and 26% of girls report at least 42 hours per week.

7% report 50 hours or more.

Teens from lower socio-economic backgrounds spend up to five times more time in front of screens than their more affluent counterparts.

This study was presented at the 48th Annual Conference on Cardiovascular Disease Epidemiology and Prevention.

Worried you're child is addicted to video games or the Internet? Visit www.video-game-addiction.org to learn more.

Labels: addictions, internet

posted by ByParents-forParents at 7:00 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Teen Talk Helps Families Connect

When children are younger, they love talking to their parents. As they become teenagers, however, that often changes and parents may begin to lose touch.

"While it's normal for teens to want to spend more time with their friends, parents and teens need to stay connected... When it comes to the tough topics, you are the best person to talk to your teen. Clear communication is essential to keeping teens safe. Your teen needs to know what your values and expectations are and the consequences for unacceptable behavior."

The book The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising a Successful Child offers several suggestions for keeping communication open. Among them are "do things one-on-one," "talk often with your teen using an affirmative tone and body language," and "do as I say, not as I do doesn't work." Source: Centre Daily Times

Labels: communication, relationships, teenagers

posted by ByParents-forParents at 6:32 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Girls Who Go Through Early Puberty Have More Problems with Boys

Girls who go through early puberty tend to be more popular with boys, but they also are at greater risk for teen pregnancy, sexual promiscuity, substance abuse, obesity, depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety. In addition, they are less likely to finish high school and college.

Dr. Susan Bradley, a child psychiatrist at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children, said such girls are more vulnerable to becoming involved with an older crowd. "They relate more to the interests of the older crowd ... but they may be catapulted into things that they do not have the maturity to deal with," she said.

If girls do not receive sufficient nurturing at home, they are more likely to seek affection from boys. "Girls who look more mature will be more likely to be perceived by others and to see themselves as attractive and appropriate romantic and sexual partners, opening the doors to dating and sexual activity," according to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

The average girl in the United States matures around age 12; however, one in six mature before age 8, according to a groundbreaking study of 17,000 females in 1997.

Some experts think that early maturation is not necessarily a bad thing. Pediatrician Dr. Mark Palmert commented, "My bias is that I don't think this is something people should be concerned about. It could just be a sign of better health."

To learn if an all girls private school might help, visit BoardingSchoolsforGirls.com for more information.

Labels: girls, puberty, relationships

posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:07 AM 1 comments

Monday, April 14, 2008

Preteens Want Hair Highlights Just Like Their Favorite TV Stars

Preteen girls are going to beauty salons for hair coloring, permanents, and straightening, according to an article in the New York Times. Color streaks that make them look like teen idol Hannah Montana are particularly popular.

"We've had girls as young as 6 in for highlights, but 9 and 10 is more the norm," said Tammy Currin, the owner of the Toadly Kool Me in Fayette, N.C. "If it's not a relaxer, highlights are usually the first step mothers will allow. Once the girls' friends see them, they're in the next week getting streaks of their own."

Unlike most adult clients who want natural-looking highlights, the preteens prefer chunky ones in wild colors like hot pink. "It's a lucrative niche market for the industry that is beginning to be addressed at trade shows and other association events," Gordon Miller of the National Cosmetology Association told Times reporter Camille Sweeney.

Mark Goodman, the vice president of the association and owner of Hair Designers, a salon in Hilton Head Island, S.C., said that preteens make up 25% of his clients. "Five years ago, the rule of thumb was 15- to 16-year-olds would come in for their first color. Now, that girl is 10," he said.

Some people are uncomfortable with the trend. Nancy Amanda Redd, author of Body Drama, attended Harvard University and is a former Miss Virginia. She said, "These girls are going from baby to mini-adult. They feel naked without their highlights. I think we need a giant dose of realism here."

Source: New York Times

Junior boarding schools for girls offer a safe, nurturing environment for pre-teen girls. Learn about New Leaf Academy and their all girls schools.

Labels: media_infuences, role_models, tweens

posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:37 PM 0 comments

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Parents Teach Kids to Go Green

Along with the already numerous responsibilities of parenthood, some parents are adding one more: environmental responsibility. They've made the choice to "go green," and are teaching their kids to do the same.

"Greer Tidwell says it was important to he and his wife to hand off these standards to his daughter Brittainy, 15, son Hunter, 13, and daughter Sophie Rose, 5. 'We have tried to develop a foundation of being thoughtful consumers and to connect the kids to the outdoors through gardening and through hunting,' he says."

The family also recycles, switched to energy-efficient light bulbs, and gets most of their vegetables from their own garden. Read more at Tennessean.com.

Labels: responsibility, role_models

posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:41 PM 0 comments

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Help Your Child Regain Control

Adolescence comes with dozens of changes. For some teens, those changes can be hard to handle. Parents can help their kids adjust by letting them learn how to make decisions, cope with their choices, and accept the consequences.

"Practice giving them some room to make tough decisions, and then discuss with them the outcome. Try to suspend your judgment, helping your youth 'connect the dots' between their choices and the consequences, good or bad. You will likely be pleasantly surprised at how competent your child has become at making responsible choices..."

There is a risk that children who feel out of control can overcompensate by becoming too assertive and controlling. Help them maintain a sense of control by letting them explore their own independence and identity. Read more at PostIndependent.com.

Labels: confidence, consequences, independence

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:43 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Most Students Pass National Writing Test

"The nation's newest report card" says that most middle and high school students score at or above the basic level in writing. Scores did not change in any significant way from the last time American students took the national writing test in 2002. About a third of the eighth-graders and a fourth of the twelfth-graders scored at the "proficient" or above-average levels.

Eighth-graders went from 85% to 88% passing, but twelfth-graders improved more: from 74% to 84%. Some educators suggested that the reason for that increase might be that the newer college board examination (SAT) now has a writing component.

Girls scored higher than boys.

Labels: education, school, studying

posted by ByParents-forParents at 4:53 PM 0 comments

Monday, April 07, 2008

Girl-friendly Chemistry Program May Keep Girls Focused on Science

Most girls lose interest in science around fifth grade. However, a new program developed at the University of Missouri may be changing all of that.

"The Magic of Chemistry" began almost 10 years ago with a group of 35 Girl Scouts taking part in workshops like "The Case of the Unsigned Letter," "Fun with Polymers," and the "Chemistry of Colors." Since then, almost 2,500 elementary school girls have participated in these female-friendly math and science classes designed by chemistry professor Sheryl Tucker, who is also associate dean of the graduate school at University of Missouri.

Tucker and her aides found that more than 80 percent of girls who participated in the Magic of Chemistry said they wanted to learn more about science and related careers.

"There was a critical national need to start a program targeting young girls with the purpose of igniting and retaining their interest in science at an age where national studies indicate they begin to lose this curiosity," said Dr. Tucker.

Bromley Brook School is a private girls boarding school with a strong program in math and science. Learn more at www.bromleybrook.com.

Labels: education, girls, learning_styles

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:49 PM 0 comments

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Abstinence-only Sex Ed Programs May Not Curb Teen Pregnancy

Last week's announcement from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that one in four American teens has a sexually transmitted disease has ignited more fury in the debate on sex education in public schools. Now, a new study from the University of Washington (UW) reveals that students who receive comprehensive sex education that includes information on condoms and birth control are half as likely to become teen parents as those who participate in abstinence-only programs.

UW analyzed the education of 1,719 heterosexual teens ages 15 to 19 and found that 67% had comprehensive sex education, 24% had abstinence-only, and 9% had no sex education. The ones in the comprehensive program were 50% less likely to report pregnancy than those in abstinence-only group.

"We're building more and more evidence that abstinence-only education isn't having much effect," said Pamela Kohler, the lead author of the study.

Congress has spent more than $1.5 billion over the past decade on Title V Abstinence Education, and yet American teens have higher rates of pregnancy, abortion, and STDs than those in other developed countries.

Labels: education, pregnancy, sex

posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:40 PM 0 comments

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Cell Phone Users Take More Risks Walking Alone at Night

Almost 90 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds own cell phones, and 32 percent of them say they "couldn't live without" their mobile phone, according to the Pew Internet & American Life Survey completed in December 2007.

The study revealed that cell phone ownership gives young people a false sense of safety.
.
"Especially for women, cell phones offer a sense of security that may make them more willing to put themselves in risky situations," said study author Jack Nasar, a professor of city and regional planning at Ohio State University.

Cell phone users are more likely to walk alone at night if they are carrying their phones. If they are talking on their phones, they are more likely to cross busy streets without looking and take risks when driving.

Labels: cell_phones, risky_behavior, safety

posted by ByParents-forParents at 2:01 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Summer Job Openings on the Decline

Teens may have a tough time finding summer jobs this year. In a survey of 1,100 companies by SnagAJob.com, almost half of managers said they would not be hiring seasonal workers this year.

"We could be headed for a historic low in the teen employment rate this summer," said Joseph McLaughlin, spokesperson for the Center for Labor Market Studies at Northeastern University. He pointed out that because of an economic downturn, more adults will be taking jobs traditionally held by teens.

"The summer 2008 job outlook for teens looks particularly bleak," he said.

The overall number of teens with summer jobs has been declining for years, partly because parents in all socioeconomic groups are increasingly encouraging their children to participate in academic and extracurricular pursuits to improve their resumes for college. Last year the number of college applicants was at an all-time record high.

Labels: jobs, money, summer

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:23 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Teens Mostly Happy with Their Lives

A new survey by a national consumer research group finds that the vast majority (over 70%) of teens rate themselves as happy with their friends, talents, grades, health, and family members.

Most teens (58%) are also happy with their bodies and looks (68%). The 13- to 17 year-old group also believes that looks are important to the way you feel about yourself and to being respected by others.

When asked the age-old question of "love or money," teens clearly preferred popularity. Only 24% chose "having a lot of money" compared to the 75% who preferred "having a lot of friends." However, 47% would rather become one of the world's 50 richest people compared to 53% who would rather be among the world's most beautiful.

The Intelligence Group is a market research, trend-forecasting, and consulting company focusing on Gen X, Gen Y, moms, teens and tweens. This survey involved interviews of 750 teenagers.

"The answers to our questions surprised many in the marketing community," said Jane Buckingham, president of the Intelligence Group. "We need to rethink how to appeal to this demographic."

Labels: happiness, mental_health, teenagers

posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:38 AM 0 comments

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