News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Parenting is never easy, but parenting teens is especially trying. Making it even more difficult is all of the contradictory advice out there. There are many "myths" about raising teenagers that can make parents feel afraid, nervous, or ineffective.

"MYTH: Raising teens is easy if you do it right. REALITY: If you listen to some so-called parenting experts, raising kids - even teens - is a walk in the park. The reality is that parenting is a labor-intensive task. In order to raise kids and teach moral character, you have to go against the prevailing culture."

Family therapist Jeff Herring dispels three other myths common to parenting, including the myth that "your teen years were just like those of your teenager." Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Labels: advice, myths, parenting tips

It's a strange phrase: "junk sleep". Much like the phrase "junk food" refers to foods that have little or no nutritional value, "junk sleep" refers to sleep patterns that offer little or no actual rest. These patterns are becoming increasingly common among teenagers who never fully unplug from their technology-laden worlds.

"In a 2006 poll by the National Sleep Foundation, 97 percent of teens said they have at least one electronic item, such as a TV, computer, phone or music device in their rooms. On average, sixth-graders reported having more than two gadgets in their room, while high-school seniors said they had four. In the survey, teens with four or more devices in their bedrooms were more likely to get insufficient sleep."

When Chris and Patti Calawerts realized that technology was interfering with their daughter Stephanie's sleep, they took action. The cell phone went off at 9p.m. and both the TV and computer were removed from her room. Though she protested at first, she now says she's glad to no longer feel "dependent on technology." Read more at GreenBayPressGazette.com.

Read more on how Technology Takes its Toll on Teen Sleep.

Labels: sleep_deprivation, technology, teen_culture

Few people would associate affluent teens with stress or depression, but studies are finding exactly that. It's the subject of the book "The Price of Privilege" by clinical psychologist Madeline Levine.

"Pressure from parents and the outside world to take AP classes, excel in a sport and do community service on top of hours of homework each night produces kids who are stressed, angry and disconnected from their world, Levine said."

Levine goes on to say that increased cases of cutting - intentional self-mutilation - are the result of kids living in a world where they're expected to look good no matter how bad they feel. She encouraged parents to spend time simply getting to know their kids, rather than checking up on grades, athletic performance, or college applications. Read more at CoastLinePilot.com.

Labels: pressures, self-harm, stress

The days of dropping off your teen at the mall on Friday night are over - at least in one New Orleans-area city. Clearview Mall in Metairie has instituted a new policy aimed at limiting the number of teens that hang out in the mall on Friday and Saturday nights.

"According to the mall's Parental Escort Policy, patrons 16 and under must be accompanied by an adult who is at least 21 years old on Fridays and Saturdays from 4pm until closing. To enforce the rule, the mall has hired extra security to guard the shopping center's entrances and card the masses, General Manager Tara Lubrano said."

Though the policy has been in place since last summer, mall officials stepped up efforts to enforce it after a particularly violent fight which took place on Feb. 9, 2008. Read more at NOLA.com.

Labels: curfews, loitering, rules

Times may change, but some of the basics of parenting remain the same. So says Mary Muscari, Associate Professor at Binghamton University, who's co-authored two new books for parents of teenagers.

"'The good, old-fashioned family meal that we've long forgotten about is so critical,' she said. 'If you can't do it at night because kids are overscheduled, do it at breakfast. Have some time when people can sit down and share and connect.'"

Time with parents means kids are more likely to talk when they're confused or in trouble. Both of Muscari's books – Everything Parents Guide to Raising Adolescent Girls and Everything Parents Guide to Raising Adolescent Boys – are published through Adams Media Corporation. Read more at MedLexicon.com.

Eating together can also help prevent teen eating disorders. Learn more at EatingDisordersHelpGuide.com.

Labels: books, communication, parenting tips

Kids are getting cell phones at younger and younger ages. It's not uncommon to see elementary-aged students calling parents for rides home after school. Is your child ready for his or her first phone?

"Parenting expert [Diane] Debrovner says to consider whether your children will remember to charge the phone and turn it on, and whether they will lose it or forget to check a message. 'Do they do their homework and remember to turn it in? Get out of the house for school in the morning? Do they follow their rules?' Debrovner asked... "

It's important to consider, as well, whether or not your child is mature enough to follow the rules of cell phone use, which often includes keeping it turned off during school hours. Read more at HonoluluAdvertiser.com.

Having a phone could be a good time to teach your child about fiscal responsibility. Read Teens and Money: Teaching Fiscal Responsibility.

Labels: cell_phones, responsibility, teaching

Teens who attend movies often are also more likely to watch twice as much television and radio than their peers do, according to a study of 3,000 people by Integrated Media Measurement, Inc.

IMM divided the interviewees into two groups: those who go to movies and those who don't. The moviegoers consumed the most television and radio. In fact, the more movies they saw, the more they used the other media. IMM analyzes data for companies who are marketing to teens.

Labels: marketing, media_infuences, media_use

About 14% of teens have symptoms of chronic insomnia, and 46% experience at least some symptoms, according to a study from the University of Texas School of Public Health in Houston. Researchers collected data from over 4000 youths ages 11 to 17, and then followed up on them a year later.

"Our data suggest that burden of insomnia is comparable to that of other major psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety and substance abuse," said Dr. Robert E. Roberts, professor of behavioral sciences. He suggests that teens should have about nine hours of sleep per night, and those with insomnia should be treated by their physicians.

Learm more on how Technology Takes its Toll on Teen Sleep.

Labels: depression, mental_health, sleep_deprivation

Richard Dudum is a father of four. Three of his kids are teenagers, and two of those are girls. He has a unique ability to communicate with teens, and he uses that ability in his newest book "What Your Mother Never Told You – A Survival Guide for Teenage Girls".

"The father of four children... also believes that 'most of the negative messages coming from the media, the Internet and popular culture are directed primarily at girls,' especially in music videos and reality television. The book addresses a wide variety of problems that teen girls face... "

Dudum's blunt, straight-forward book has just hit #1 in Amazon's Parenting-Teenagers category, just three short months after its release.

Girls Boarding Schools, like Copper Canyon Academy, offer smaller classes and teaching styles geared towards the way girls learn. Visit CopperCanyonAcademy.com to learn more about their girls boarding school.

Labels: advice, books, role_models

When kids misbehave, regardless of their age, parents often push for an apology. Kids are made to say "I'm sorry" to their siblings, parents, fellow students and others. But Jane Nelsen, author of the parenting book Positive Discipline, has a different idea.

"'I don't think you should force anyone to apologize at any age,' she [says]... 'That's teaching kids to lie. If they're not sorry and we make them say sorry, just to make us feel good, that's not about empathy.' Nelsen is all for seeking forgiveness. She just thinks the idea needs to come from the kids themselves."

Her suggestion is that the parent talks to her child about his behavior, how it might make the other person feel, and what he could do to make that person feel better. Read more at Slate.com.

Are you dealing with a brat? Turn-About Ranch, a program for troubled teens, was featured in several of the UK series Brat Camp. Visit TurnAboutRanch.com to learn more.

Labels: apologies, discipline, forgiveness

Pediatrician Jean-Yves Frappier recently released results of a study which showed that Canadian teens are at high risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. The study, conducted with nearly 1,200 teens, found that 25 percent of those who were sexually active didn't use a condom the last time they had sex.

"'They don't know some of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and their consequences,' Frappier said. '(About) 25 percent think it can be contracted by sitting on the toilet seat or swimming in a pool.'"

The ignorance about STDs, combined with so many teens having unprotected sex, has led to a spike in sexually transmitted infections. The study found that, on average, teens reported having three partners since they started having sex, and 38 percent of them engage in casual sex. Read more at Canada.com.

Labels: risky_behavior, sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases

The Kansas State House Transportation Committee is considering a bill that would, among other things, enact a graduated driver's license. The bill would also raise the age requirement for obtaining driving permits from 14- to 15-years-old.

"The bill would restrict young drivers in a number of ways including reduced driving hours and prohibitions on cell phone usage and number of young passengers in the car."

Additionally, the proposal raises the age requirement for restricted licenses from 15- to 16-years-old and limits driving hours to between 5 a.m. and 9 p.m. Read more at CJOnline.com.

Keeping your teen safe behind the wheel and from other risky behaviors can be challenging. Visit our Resources for Parents section to learn more free parenting tips and advice.

Labels: driving, liability, safety

A psychology professor in Great Britain is refuting the claim that today's teens are more narcissistic than other generations.

Dr. Kali Trzesniewski, of the University of Western Ontario in London, studied questionnaires from more than 425,000 adolescents ages 17 to 24 from University of California studies dating from 1976 until the present.

Dr. Trzesniewski analyzed answers to questions such as "I am going to be a great person" and found no increase in narcissism since the 1970s. She also found slight decreases in socially undesirable traits such as superiority, and slight increases in positive traits such as self-sufficiency, but no major changes.

"Overall narcissism is not changing but there are some changes and they don't seem so bad," she said. "They just describe your basic CEO. It's not always a terrible thing."

Her study, published in the February issue of Psychological Science, contradicts that of Dr. Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled and More Miserable Than Ever Before.

High school boarding schools like the Academy at Swift River in New England offer teens a chance for true emotional growth in a safe, structured environment.

Labels: entitlement, generations, narcissism

A Seventeen Magazine survey of 500 girls ages 13 to 18 found that half of them believe it is possible they would become pregnant within the next five years. However, the majority (66%) worry more about sexually-transmitted diseases than getting pregnant.

Seventy percent of the girls reported that if boys took a more active part in birth control, which would help in preventing unplanned pregnancies. Over 66% said that they had a friend who is now or has been pregnant.

The Seventeen survey was done in conjunction with the Candie's Foundation, which works to prevent teen pregnancy. According to foundation statistics, about 40% of all American girls will become pregnant before they are 20.

"It is unacceptable that approximately 750,000 teenagers will have babies this year in the U.S. Teens need to know and understand that pregnancy has incredibly devastating consequences," Neil Cole, founder of the Candie Foundation, said.

If you have a pregnant teen and need an alternative to traditional boarding schools, visit TeenBoardingSchools.com for a list of alternative boarding schools.

Labels: birth_control, pregnancy, sex

Researchers at the University of Michigan are calling for restrictions on teen driving at night and on weekends, after studying seventeen years of records of automobile crashes.

The University of Michigan Transportation Research Institute scholars went through data from 7000 teenage drivers and recommended that teens be licensed to drive in a series of phases. In Phase 1, they could drive only if a licensed adult driver were in the car. In later phases, they could have passengers in the car and drive at night or weekends.

The researchers found that teen drivers are two and a half times more likely to be involved in an automobile accident than adult drivers, and their risk increases at night, on weekends and when there are passengers in the car.

Other states, including California, already have such granulated licenses for adolescents.

By sending your teen off to a private boarding school you can reduce his or her need to drive. Learn more about the safe, secure environments of private boarding schools at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: driving, research, safety

Cell phone use is linked to headaches, insomnia and confusion, according to a report in the British journal, The Independent.

Scientists asked 70 people to talk on their cell phones before they went to bed and found that such usage shortened the stages of deep sleep. The study also linked such sleep disturbances to depression, mood swings, ADHD symptoms and personality changes in teenagers.

"This study strongly suggests that mobile phone use is associated with specific changes in the areas of the brain responsible for activating and coordinating the stress system," according to the report.

Last week the Federal Drug Administration called for more scientific studies of the long-range effects of cell phone use on health, especially since more people are using the phones at very young ages.

Looking for programs for troubled teens? Aspen Ranch offers animal assisted therapy and other ways to help troubled teens.

Labels: cell_phones, research, sleep_deprivation

Young people should not to use tanning salons, a new study from New Zealand warns.

People under 35 years old who frequently use sun beds double their risk for dangerous skin cancers. Among those who only tried synthetic tanning just one time, skin cancer risks were 22% higher than average.

Scientists at the Queensland Institute of Medical Research came to those conclusions after analyzing the results of 21 previous studies.

Teens engaging in tanning and other risky behaviors can benefit from a therapeutic boarding school. Learn more about therapeutic boarding schools at TherapeuticBoardingSchool.com.

Labels: cancer, health, risky_behavior

It's never an easy conversation. It's hard to say who's more embarrassed, the parent or the child. But talking to your child about sex is important and even if you've procrastinated, it's never too late. There are even organizations that specialize in hosting programs for parents to help them figure out what to say to their child and when.

"'I think the more information you have, the better prepared you are,' said Cherish Stickel, 40, who recently attended one of the sessions at Pleasant Valley Junior High School in LeClaire. 'Power is knowledge, I think.' That need for information is especially great now, in light of recent media attention on teen pregnancy, said Libbet Brooke, one of the program facilitators and the health educator at the Edgerton Clinic in Davenport."

The rise in media attention reflects the recent spike in pregnancies among 15- to 19-year-old teenagers. It's important that parents be armed with the right information and can use facts rather than scare tactics when talking to their teens. Read more at QCTimes.com.

An adolescent residential treatment center can help pregnant teens deal with their emotions and the risky behaviors that lead to their condition. Youth Care offers a program for pregnant teens where they get therapeutic help while earning academic credits.

Labels: communication, parenting_tips, sex