News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Rural teens are more likely to get into automobile accidents than teens who drive in cities, according to a study by the Texas Transportation Institute.

Spokesperson Russell Henk said, "Teens believe nothing is going to happen to me; there are only two cars on the road. The risk is higher because the speed limit is higher on rural roads. The speed of traffic is lower in urban areas because of congestion."

In 2006, 65% of teen fatalities occurred on rural roads. Besides the speeds involved, other risk factors in rural driving are driving after 10 pm, talking on cell phones or sending text messages while driving, driving without seat belts, having too many teens in one car, and drag racing.

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Labels: driving, safety, accidents

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Teens who have taken one HIV test are more likely to get another, according to a study by Bradley Hasbro Children's Research Center.

Researchers studied 1222 sexually active young people, ages 15 to 21 years old. Those who had taken an HIV test were also more likely to have a sexually transmitted disease themselves and seek retesting.

About half of all new cases of HIV in the United States are among the age group 13 to 24 years old. The Bradley Hasbro group concludes that more widespread testing may curb the spread of the disease among this age group.

The study appears in ScienceDaily.

Labels: sexually_transmitted_diseases, AIDS, HIV

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A new federal study reports that teenagers 15 to 19 years old have the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases than other age groups.

The Public Health Institute Center for Research on Adolescent Health and Development reported this month that half of all new HIV cases are among African-American girls ages 15 years and older.

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Labels: health, sex, sexually_transmitted_diseases

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Is your teen moody? Does he have a temper? Does she fly off the handle? Blame sleep deprivation, say researchers at Harvard Medical School and University of California/Berkeley.

Most people believe that not getting enough sleep makes people sleepy and lethargic. However, sleep deprivation actually activates the brain's emotional centers most closely associated with psychiatric disorders such as depression.

Professor Mary Carskadon of Brown University said the new study might have implications for adolescents, who are being diagnosed with depression in increasing numbers.

"We don't know if early sleep deprivation projects out to things like major depressive disorder or bipolar illness and whether we're setting our kids up for these major problems as they grow up," she said.

The Berkeley/Harvard study appears in the October 23, 2007 issue of Current Biology.

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Labels: depression, sleep_deprivation, development

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A new study of more than 2,000 parents and their children found that boys and girls observe their bad parents' driving habits at early ages and may imitate them once they get drivers' licenses of their own.

Eighty percent of the children (ages 10 to 18 years) observed their parents speeding, and a majority saw them multi-tasking, yelling or arguing with other drivers, and not keeping both hands on their steering wheels. One-third said their parents' driving habits sometimes scared them.

"'Do as I say, not as I do' seems to be the philosophy of many parents when it comes to teaching children safe driving habits," said Bill Windsor, vice president of safety for Nationwide Mutual Insurance, the company that conducted the study.

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Labels: driving, parenting, role_models

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Time in front of the television is part of American life. Pre-teens (sometimes called tweens) have their own favorite shows, mostly airing on The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, which parents may or may not be familiar with. A parent might not recognize titles like "All That," "Drake & Josh," or "iCarly," but chances are their pre-teen kids know the titles and the theme song lyrics.

"While, for the most part, tween shows are the domain of children and children only, don't be so sure there isn't something in some of these shows for the parents as well."

For sake of spending time with kids, some of these tween shows are worth checking out. Though their target audience is the pre-teen crowd, many of the shows have positive messages and are entertaining enough for child and parent to watch together.

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Labels: tv, communication, teen_culture

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In an age of cell phones, GPS tracking systems and internet "monitoring", some worry that parenting has become less like parenting and more like stalking. We no longer have to trust and hope that our teens are going where they say they are, we can simply sit down at our computer and access information from the GPS device hidden in their jacket or attached to their car.

"It's not clear that a surveillance society actually provides more security. Consider the ubiquitous surveillance cameras at schools. What did they do for that Cleveland high school last month except to leave behind chilling, post-mortem pictures of the 14-year-old shooter? And how easy is it to drop the GPS jacket by the roadside?"

Two-way communication still needs to be part of parenting. Once upon a time, all parents could do was ask questions and cross their fingers - and those generations seemed to turn out alright. Additional safety measures aren't bad, if they are in fact additions to standard parenting approaches of communication with and trust in our kids.

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Labels: safety, communication, trust

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Having a cell phone has become more than a rite of passage for teens; it has become commonplace. It can also help keep a teen safe. But rather than just handing over a phone, crossing fingers and hoping the bills aren't sky high, consider having your teen sign a usage contract.

"Contracts with adolescents are an excellent parenting approach because teens yearn to be treated as adults. These parents are not dictating cell phone usage but instead pulling their teenager into full agreement; he obtains the privilege of using a cell phone but only under certain conditions."

If the teen violates the conditions, he loses the phone for a predetermined time. A contract not only teaches the teen responsibility, but helps the parents keep cell phone costs under control.

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Labels: safety, responsibility, cell_phones

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Genarlow Wilson spent nearly three years in jail for having a sexual encounter with a 15-year-old girl; he was 17 at the time. The media frenzy surrounding his case has brought to the forefront an unpleasant new reality - an increasing number of teens are engaging in oral sex.

"Studies show that, in what appears to be a generational shift, oral sex has become increasingly casual among kids. Erik Fisher, a Dunwoody psychologist, believes there's a disconnect between the attitudes of parents and kids toward oral sex. A lot of teens don't consider it sex at all, he said."

What many teens don't know is that the dangers of oral sex are almost as numerous as the dangers of intercourse. For example, STDs can still be transmitted. Parents need to talk to their kids often about sex, in all its forms, and help teens understand that oral sex is still sex, and there could still be consequences if teens engage too early in sexual activity.

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Labels: attitudes, sex, acceptable_behaviors

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Are the rules that were developed by American spies in the 1950s applicable to parenting? Gregory Ramey PhD, thinks so. At a recent visit to the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C., he found himself thinking that parents would do well to follow the "Moscow Rules".

"'Pick the time and place for action.'... With teens, discipline judiciously. When you make everything important, nothing is important to your teen. Chose your issues carefully, and avoid nagging and sarcastic remarks. When you need to deal with an important issue, don't impulsively react at a time of anger. Select a time when both you and your teen can talk, listen, and try to understand each other."

Other rules include "keep your options open" and the ever-important "you're never completely alone". Though this last rule was considered a bad thing for spies, it's a great thing for parents.

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Labels: parenting_tips, discipline, rules

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The 2004 U.S. Census seems to indicate that parents are taking parenting more seriously than in previous years. About 7 percent more parents set television restrictions for their teenagers in the 2004 census than did in census 10 years ago.

"How do TV restrictions translate into healthier families? By establishing such limits, parents show their children that they care about their development and help establish certain values for their households."

More parents also read to their younger children. Analysts believe the changes reflect parents' growing concern about the challenges and dangers their kids will face as they grow up. It also indicates that parents are beginning to realize that children who grow up in a strong, stable home are better equipped to live health, stable lives when they become adults.

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Labels: parenting_tips, responsibility, role_models

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Many parents struggle with setting rules and sticking to them. Teenagers are excellent at pressuring parents to ease up on things like curfew and even punishments. But parents need to remember that they have a responsibility to help their kids navigate the troublesome teenage years - and rules are part of that navigation.

"...all kids know they need guidance from their parents. In fact, they want it. They're probably not going to admit that. To do so would be too much of a concession, too big of a blow to their youthful egos. They like the reassurance that comes with knowing there's somebody who cares for and looks after them.'

If you've set rules that you know are fair  stick to them. Be prepared for the pressure your teen will exert and the anger he may feel. Know that in the long run, you're doing what's right and what's best for your child.

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Labels: responsibility, discipline, rules

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A new report from the American Medical Association indicates that 18,650 people died in 2005 of a drug-resistant strain of bacteria.

The super-bug, known as MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus areus) is on the increase all over the United States. The AMA report estimates that between 25 to 30% of Americans carry the infection in their bodies. Parents worry because several high school athletes have died from MRSA infections.

Dr. Julie Gerberding, of the Center for Disease Control, said it was important to get medical treatment early for wounds that are swollen and red. Death occurs when people wait too long for treatment.

"The healthy person -like the high school athlete-is going to be able to be treated adequately without adverse outcome," she said. Children undergoing MRSA treatment can be allowed to go to school.

The study appeared in the October 18, 2007 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association.

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Labels: health, athletics, school

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Strangers are more likely to contact teens who post profiles online or who participate in social networks like Facebook or MySpace, according to a new survey by the Pew Institute.

It did not matter if a teen's profile was public or private. Strangers contacted about one-third of the teens in the survey. Of that group, one-fourth reported feeling scared or uncomfortable when contacted. Girls were more likely to be contacted by strangers than boys.

The survey was conducted in August 2007 among 935 adolescents ages 12 to 17 years old.

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Labels: internet, teenagers, online_safety

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Many parents struggle to talk to their teens about sex. It's going to be an awkward conversation, no matter what, and that's ok. It's also ok for teens to say no to sex. It's a message they don't hear often, but one they need to hear from their parents.

"Endeavour to teach your children the ins and outs of dating and sex from an early age and reinforce this message frequently. Above all, help your teenagers to appreciate that dating means getting to know other people emotionally and not only physically."

Many teens will feel pressured to have sex, and many will think they have to give in to that pressure. Having a parent tell them it's ok to say no' may be just the confidence booster they need to not only resist the pressure but maybe exert some pressure of their own to have a more holistic, healthy dating relationship.

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Labels: sex, dating, communication

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Most parents turn to "the experts" for advice on raising their kids. There is certainly a lot of information out there, much of it is excellent. But Mary Haupt of the Press & Sun Bulletin reminds parents that their instincts are often the best guide.

"Some of what made raising teenagers so challenging was my lack of confidence in my own judgment. Put another way, I shoulda trusted my gut... I lost sight of the fact that I knew my children better than any best-selling expert did."

The parent of a teen has lived with that child for over a decade, and has been the primary influence in shaping and molding that child's character. Though there are times when expert advice is helpful - or even necessary - when parenting a teenager, in most instances, a parent knows their child well enough to know what's right and what's best.

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Labels: parenting_tips, confidence, advice

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"Friends with benefits" is a term today's teenagers and college students use for couples who have sex but are not romantically in love.

A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicates that such relationships are common. About 60% of 125 students surveyed at Michigan State University reported having had a "friend with benefits" relationship. Only one-tenth of these couples became full-scale romances. About a third stayed friends but stopped having sex, and a fourth broke off altogether. The rest remained "friends with benefits."

"We found that people got into these relationships because they didn't want commitment. It was perceived as a safe relationship, at least at first," Dr. Timothy Levine observed. "But there was this growing fear that the one person would become more attracted than the other." The couples usually never talked about one subject: their relationships.

On scales of intimacy, "friends with benefits" score low on passion and commitment.

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Labels: relationships, denial, commitment

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Parenting is never easy. Parenting alone can be especially difficult. Though there can be some benefits to being a single parent ("my house, my rules" - for example) there are a number of challenges as well, not the least of which revolve around money.

"Everyone should follow a budget, agrees Erika Penner, a financial planner in Richmond, B.C. Single parents can especially benefit, she says, since there's generally less money coming in and fewer tax-planning opportunities than for couples."

If possible, come to an agreement with your ex regarding how the children will be disciplined. Consistency, even in discipline, will give kids a greater sense of stability and security and keep them from trying to pit one parent against another.

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Labels: responsibility, money, single_parent

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