News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

A generation ago, high school students looked down on a fellow student who dated someone that was significantly older. Today, generous age gaps are not only more common, but more accepted.

"There are always exceptions, but boys are usually intimidated by girls their age and feel more secure with someone younger, he said. And girls can have self-esteem issues of their own. The rise in girls being raised by single moms created daughters who feel abandoned by their fathers [psychologist Ivan Fleishman] said."

Girls with abandonment issues gravitate towards older men, not realizing that they're mixing their need for a father figure in with their desire for a dating relationship. They "mix needs", trying to resolve unmet childhood needs in an inappropriate way.

Copper Canyon Academy girls residential treatment and boarding school helps teen girls struggling with their emotions and engaging in risky behaviors.

Labels: dating, relationships, risky_behavior

Survival guide handbooks have become very popular over the last few years. But Mark Patinkin, from the Providence Journal in Rhode Island, has noticed that we're still missing the most important survival handbook of all - How to Survive Teenagers. So he offers some good-humored tips of his own.

"Put Dominoes Pizza on speed-dial, and if you don't live within two blocks of a Subway, sell your house and move. Keep in mind that it means nothing if teenagers go out for a meatball sub at 4 p.m.; they will still want dinner at 6. I recommend buying frozen hot-pockets and chip bags large enough to feed livestock..."

He also suggests having cell phone numbers for your teen's friends (which he refers to as "the swarm") as it will be easier to track down your teen when you need him.

Surviving teen drug and alcohol abuse is no laughing matter. Learn how you can and your family can get through difficult times like these at DrugRehabTreatment.com.

Labels: advice, parenting_tips, support

Teens are busy. Any parent, teacher, friend or sibling can attest to that. School, friends, sports, drama club, choir, band, academic clubs, blogs, MySpace – all leave very little time for teens to spend with their families. Yet studies have shown that time with family keeps teens grounded and actually makes them happy. This means that parents need to be creative and make the most of the time they have.

"One year we had three kids playing on three different travel baseball teams. I spent almost four hours in the car every Saturday... In marketing, this is called a captive audience. In parenting, it's called quality time. I learned so much about my kids that summer. Little things like what music they liked to big things like their views on abortion and the war in Iraq."

Serving favorite foods for dinner also increases the chances that teens will stick around long enough to eat, or try hard to make it home in time. And consider letting them invite a friend. It not only makes "family dinner" more appealing, but helps parents get to know the kids their teens are hanging out with.

Experts say parents are the biggest influence in the battle of teen drug abuse. Visit Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com to learn how you can help your child avoid teenage drug addiction.

Labels: communication, influences, quality_time

Some educators believe that the first year of high school is the most stressful in a child's school career. Now researchers at the Centre for Studies on Human Stress plan to measure saliva stress-levels among teens entering high school to study the effects of stress on their capacity to learn effectively.

The pilot program study will involve 500 children in Montreal.

A previous research project at the Centre found that children from families of low socio-economic status experienced more stress than children from wealthier families. However, the same researchers made an unexpected discovery when they found that nearly all students in the year before high school had elevated stress levels regardless of family backgrounds.

Tania Schramek, coordinator of the pilot study, said that starting high school provides all the ingredients for human stress because it is a situation that is new, unpredictable and threatening, and one that creates a sense of loss of control.

Private boarding high schools, like the Academy at Swift River, offer therapy and counseling for students feeling stressed out about school and life in general.

Labels: health, school, stress

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America has found that fewer parents are warning their children about the dangers of drugs.

Of particular concern was that only a third of parents talked to their children about the dangers of prescription drugs. About one in five of all substance abusers use prescription or over-the-counter drugs.

Researchers surveyed 1356 parents of children in grades seven to twelve and found a 12% decline in the frequency of parental discussions about drug use compared to a similar survey a year earlier. The Partnership estimates that 32 million American families have children at risk for abusing drugs and alcohol.

North Star Center's drug treatment programs for adolescent substance abuse help young adults by offering a structured program of sobriety and recovery.

Labels: communication, influences, parenting

A new study from the University of Western Ontario indicates that peer groups can influence children to behave in ways similar to the group.

Researchers studied 526 children in grades five through eight, asking them to classify their classmates into groups such as "popular," "nice kids," and "physically aggressive." The children who were in the "nice" group did not change over the course of the study. However, children in the "cool and popular" group changed their behaviors to live up to the peer group. Likewise, children in the deviant groups engaged in more risky behaviors and became more disliked over time.

This study appears in the July/August issue of Child Development.

Therapeutic boarding schools, like Oakley School in Utah, offer college prep academics in addition to therapy and counseling.

Labels: behavior, influences, research

Karen is the mom of two teenage boys, and she struggles with finding the right balance between providing for her boys and spoiling them. She believes they need to experience the rewards that come from hard work.

"So when GD mentioned that he would like to get the new Metroid Prime game for the Wii, I said fine. How are you going to earn the money to buy it?... GD talked it over with his boss (i.e. his dad.) The hubs was no longer his father in this case, but was his boss. And if GD wanted to earn enough money to buy the game, he would have to do something in return. The hubs, er, the boss, told him that he could paint our shed for a set amount of money."

The shed painting didn't go well at first and Karen's son almost gave up. It was a hard lesson, for her son and for her, but one that's necessary for kids to truly thrive once they're out in the "real world."

Mount Bachelor Academy is a private high school in Central Oregon that offers an emotional growth program as part of their curriculum.

Labels: money, responsibility, working

Children who have been sexually abused benefit from psychological interventions, although many can improve on their own, according to a new study from Western Illinois University and Northern Illinois University.

Professors Melanie Hetzel-Riggins, Amy Braugh, and Brad Montgomery analyzed the results of twenty-eight studies on sexually abused teenagers and children. They concluded that those who undergo cognitive-behavioral therapy or abuse-specific therapy achieve the best results, especially if it is a long-term therapy. Therapies ideally tailored to each individual work best. If the abuse occurred within the child's family system, it is harder to treat.

This study appears in the August 2007 issue of Child Sexual Abuse and Neglect.

Equine therapy or Animal assisted therapy can reach kids who haven't responded to traditional talk therapy. Visit Animal-assistedTherapy.com to learn more.

Labels: abuse, research, therapy

A jury in suburban Chicago convicted Tara and Daniel Hutsell this week of endangering the life of a child and lying to police after two teenagers died in a car crash after attending a party at their home.

The Hutsells, both age 53, will be sentenced in September.

Both adults were home during a party hosted by their son. Two eighteen-year-old guests died when their car slammed into a tree. The driver was legally drunk, and the passenger had been smoking marijuana.

More and more states are passing laws that make parents legally responsible for the consequences of underage drinking in their homes, according to James Mosher, director of the Center for the Study of Law and Enforcement Policy. Mosher said he was unsure if the criminalization of parents would become a good way of preventing other such tragedies.

The parent of one of the boys at the party, Vicki Ettelson, disagreed.

"Parents cannot operate under the assumption that drinking occurs, and there's not a lot that we as parents can do about it," she said. "It's okay to say no."

Parents accept responsibility for their teen drivers every time their child gets behind the wheel. Learn the risks involved in this informative article: Parental Liability for Underage Drivers.

Labels: driving, liability, responsibility

Two studies of teenagers' sleeping habits indicate that 45% are getting less than the optimal nine hours a night, and 30% sleep less than seven hours.

One study links loss of sleep to the use of caffeinated beverages. Another links it to having computers, television and other technology in a teen's bedroom.

Researchers at the University of Alabama found that teens who drink caffeinated beverages get less sleep than those who do not. About 75% of teens drink at least one caffeinated drink a day. Professor Beverly Sedlacek said that teens use the beverages to get by on less sleep, and "getting by" is not as healthy as getting adequate sleep.

A study of 1000 British teens found that many teens fall asleep watching television, listening to music, or using the computer. This produces "junk sleep" that is not as rejuvenating as normal sleep, according to The Sleep Council of Great Britain. The Council reported that technology is "exaggerating night-owlism in teenagers," and recommended that parents enforce "turn-off" times.

A private high school, like Mount Bachelor Academy in Oregon, uses a very structured environment to make sure students get the rest they need to perform their best during the day.

Labels: health, influences, sleep_deprivation

Family therapist Sharon Smith has spent years advising parents on how to prevent their children from having an "entitlement" mentality. She also warns against "helicopter parenting", where a parent hovers over a child, making all of the decisions for him or her. But when a tragic accident took the life of her step-daughter, Smith found herself having to apply the advice she'd been giving for so many years to her grandson who was now in her care.

"'My parenting ideas as a counselor have changed,' Smith said. 'I'm going to have to live it - practice what I preach.'... Smith says life requires more than the tough parenting and marriage skills she dissects with others. It requires humor and faith."

There's been a lot of practicing and preaching in the Smith household. Smith and her husband currently have temporary custody of her step-daughter's son, Jake. They're awaiting ruling by the Family Court on a permanent arrangement. Read more at IslandPacket.com.

Pine Ridge Academy alternative boarding schools help students struggling from a variety of issues. Learn more about the therapeutic programs available at Pine Ridge today.

Labels: communication, counseling, parenting_tips

Last week, AT&T announced a new service that will allow parents to set cell phone limits for their children. While most parents want their kids to have cell phones for safety reasons, they don't want kids being able to call and text at all hours of the day and night.

"The functions, ranging from call blocking and hour limits to text message and download allowances, will be set through a Web site. Calls to or from a parent's number can be made to override the restrictions, and calls to 911 can be made anytime."

The add-on feature is called Smart Limits and will cost $4.99 per month per line.

Through their equine therapy program and accredited academics, Aspen Ranch offers help for troubled teens.

Labels: cell_phones, responsibility, safety

Teenagers who participate in sports, clubs, and extra-curricular activities gain more insight into themselves and their emotions, according to a new study at the University of Illinois. The activities provide opportunities for personal growth that are unavailable in formal classroom settings.

Dr. Reed Larson surveyed high school adolescents in Illinois high schools and found that those who participate in such activities report that they learn about themselves and emotional control. Typical insights were emotions can distort perception, people are more emotional when tired, and people can learn to control their emotions even under stress. Activities that encourage emotional expression and exploration, such as drama, were particularly helpful.

This study appears in the August 2007 issue of Child Development.

Private boarding schools offer a wider variety of extra-curricular activities than many public schools. Visit BoardingSchoolsInfo.com to find a private boarding school.

Labels: activities, emotional_growth, sports

Setting rules about the type of language and behavior that's allowed is every parent's right. Such boundaries also benefit the teens that have to follow them, so long as it's handled appropriately.

"'Be careful when you lay down the rules so as not to embarrass your daughter,' say panelist Rochelle Freedman. She suggests you talk to your daughter first and warn her you plan to discuss her friends' bad language with them."

Other experts suggest using humor to make the conversation less awkward.

Excel Academy offers a structured environment that helps troubled teens work on their issues while catching up on missed school credits.

Labels: communication, respect, rules

In an Op-Ed letter to the Corvallis Gazette-Times, Aliza Tuttle expresses her anger and sorrow over a recent story about a father who resorted to publicly humiliating his daughter when she was caught stealing.

"These girls are not being taught never to steal; they are being taught never to get caught and have lost all respect for their dad or uncle."

Tuttle goes on to urge the parent to attend a parenting class and learn more effective methods of punishment. She also reminds him and all parents that public humiliation of a teenage child can potentially breed hate between parent and child. Read more at GTConnect.com.

Private high schools, like the Oakley School, strive to inspire students to pursue educational and emotional growth while developing the individual skills crucial to succeed in a complex, changing world.

Labels: communication, parenting_styles, punishment

A report from the American Physical Therapy Association says that carrying a backpack weighing more than 10 to 15% of a child's weight will throw off his or her posture, leading to muscle strain and vulnerability to injuries.

The APTA suggests that children wear two shoulder straps, put heaviest items closer to their backs, and use hip and chest belts to transfer weight from their backs to their hips and torsos. The group also recommends wheeled backpacks with handles long enough so that a child does not have bend over to reach them.

Cedars Academy non verbal learning disorder schools offer specialized programs for students with learning disabilities like ADHD and Aspergers.

Labels: backpacks, health, safety

If you are an average American teenager, happiness is a cellphone, spending time with family, and having spiritual and religious values, according to a study by the Associated Press and MTV. You also want to be rich when you grow up.

In a survey of 1280 people ages 13 to 24 years old, almost two-thirds told interviewers that they are currently happy with their lives and optimistic about their futures. Eighty-percent of those happy with their lives also said that religion and spirituality was important to them. Spending time with family and friends was the top priority of 45% of those surveyed. Two-thirds of respondents believe that new technology, such as cell phones and computers, makes people happier.

Some 70% of the young people reported that they want to be rich someday, and 50% believe that they will attain that goal.

Excel Academy offers programs for troubled teens to help them get back on track emotionally and academically.

Labels: future, happiness, optimistic

Cyber-bullying and cyber cruelty are prevalent on social networking and blog sites. The News Courier in Athens, Alabama recently ran a story about a young girl who received cruel and perverted comments on a memorial video she posted on YouTube to honor a friend who had died.

"'There's the perception when we post something online we're invisible, no one can see us,' she said. 'When you're invisible, you can engage in activity that might cause harm but the perception is that no one in authority knows who you are. It removes fear of detection. It makes them oblivious to the potential harmful impact on those who lost a teenager. They have no remorse because they're distanced from any concept of what harm they're actually causing.'"

Nancy Willard, executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, and others remind parents that monitoring of a child's online activity is important not only for the child's safety but for the safety of others with whom he or she may be interacting. Read more at TahlequahDailyPress.com.

Read Cyber-Bullies: What You Need to Know to learn more.

Labels: cyberbulling, internet, online_safety

A young girl writes in to an Arizona newspaper, asking for reasons why boy and girls should have adult supervision. The responder, Marilyn Heins, makes her case well.

"It sounds as though you are old enough to know about sex and you have hormones that already have changed your body and now lead you to think about sex a lot, or least about kissing and stuff like that. But I'm pretty certain that you aren't old enough to know how to deal with these curiosities and urges. So you need help learning how to be the boss of your body."

Heins goes on to say that girls and boys need help understanding why it's important to learn to control their bodies and their urges.

In addition to controlling their bodies, teens need to understand the importance of avoiding teen substance abuse and sexual abuse. Visit the Teen-Help-Directory to learn more.

Labels: safety, sex, supervision

The competitive, high-achieving mind-set that has ruled corporate America for decades has begun working its way into the lives of teenagers and even younger children. Today, it's not unusual for a 12-year-old girl to be involved in so many activities that her day is completely scheduled from sun-up to sun-down. But many experts are trying to warn parents that over-scheduling can have detrimental effects.

"Last year, the American Academy of Pediatrics released a report touting the benefits of play. The report found play 'essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social and emotional well-being of children and youth. Play also offers an ideal opportunity for parents to engage fully with their children.'"

Dr. Denise Pope, lecturer at Stanford University's School of Education says that businesses are increasingly disappointed in the graduates they're seeing, who lack the type of creativity and innovation for which they're looking; a direct result, experts say, of an over-scheduled childhood. Read more at WisconsinRapidsTribune.com.

Looking at programs for troubled teens? Aspen Ranch offers animal assisted therapy in addition to their accredited academics and traditional therapies.

Labels: development, down_time, time_management

When parents discuss privacy, the focus is typically their teenagers. But teens aren't the only ones in the house who need, and are entitled to, a private life. Parents need to set clear boundaries with their kids and maintain their own level of privacy as well.

"It is difficult to determine the limits of what is appropriate to share with your kids about your own life. Teenagers can be remarkably persistent when it comes to "building a case" in support of minimizing their own transgressions. The last thing we want is for them to use our youthful indiscretions as ammo against us. We have already suffered enough. Do our kids need to know this stuff? Is it helpful, even?"

When sharing details about your personal life, you are free to use your own discretion. The same is true of your personal space. Married couples have the right to spend time alone, behind locked doors, and are not obligated to answer questions about their activities. Similarly, single parents need their time alone as well.

Talisman's Southeast Journeys program offers semester long academic Aspergers schools and programs for children with learning disabilities.

Labels: boundaries, communication, privacy

Across America many cities, counties and states have made laws increasingly strict for teen drivers. Graduated laws ban young drivers from having other teens in the car. To get around this law, some teens have resorted to riding in the trunk.

"'I've ridden in the trunk many times,' said David Mack. 'We often have too many people in the car and since I'm the smallest, it all came down to me.'"

But teens don't realize that "trunking" is not only illegal, but extremely dangerous. Experts are pushing parents to make their kids aware of the driving laws, stating that it's up to the parents to ensure kids make it "through their teenage years safely." Read more at WoodTV.com.

Teenagers don't always make the best decisions. Sending your child to a private boarding school is never a bad idea. Learn more at TeenBoardingSchools.com.

Labels: driving, risky_behavior, safety