News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Are you responsible for your teenage child? Most parents are inclined to say "yes", but Tim Chapman - Executive Director of a residential treatment center, says the more accurate response is "No. You're responsible to them."

"By the time children enter adolescence, parents' role is to encourage, influence and monitor. At this stage in your adolescent's life, your influence is more effective than your ability to control. The sooner parents recognize this, the sooner they may more positively influence their teen."

The line between influence and control is fuzzy. Think of it this way: a controlling parent will 'supervise' a teen as he's finishing his homework, an influencing parent will be available to help but let the teen either finish on his own or deal with the consequences if he doesn't. Though it's hard to let kids experience negative consequences for their actions, it's sometimes an effective learning tool.

Read more at OCRegister.com.

Labels: consequences, control, influences

The start of a new school year brings an unsettling combination of excitement and anxiety - for both parent and teen. Getting in the routine of the school year can be tough, so KidsHealth.org has offered some suggestions to help smooth the way.

"Start the routine early: Start the school routine 1 or 2 weeks before school starts, especially mealtimes and bedtimes. Be sure that kids are having a healthy breakfast each morning."

If possible, it's good for parents to be home at the end of a school day for the first week. Having mom or dad present when he walks in the door can help an anxious teen feel more secure and supported. If it's not possible to be home, parents should keep evenings free for the first week so they can spend some extra time with their kids. Read more online.

Would your teen benefit from a private high school boarding school? Learn about Oakley School to learn about the ways they help teenagers.

Labels: parenting tips, school, time_management

Some parents are of the opinion that self-discovery is the best way for a teenager to choose a career path. Others worry that, in this highly competitive market, 'self-discovery' is too ambiguous and unstructured to provide the skills necessary to compete, so they offered other suggestions.

"Several parents said career testing had worked well for their kids, either at college counseling centers or other sources. Testing by the nonprofit Johnson O'Conner Research Foundation (www.jocrf.org), an assessment firm with 11 offices nationwide, was recommended by several readers."

One mother in Oklahoma suggests that her teens consider three "overlapping circles"; the things they love to do, the activities in which they're talented, and activities others will pay them to perform. Read more at CareerJournal.com.

Think military boarding schools will straighten out your troubled teen and get them on the right path? Learn about their ineffectiveness and about other alternatives at 4-Military-School-Alternatives.com.

Labels: careers, education, testing

It's that time of year again. Across the nation, millions of kids will be going back to school in the next few weeks. Whether a student is just starting kindergarten, or is in her senior year of high school, communication between parents and teachers is vital.

"Keep up with the hands-on parenting when the kids reach high school, adds Teresa Bullock, a Midtowner who has two graduates of the Memphis City Schools system and served for two years as president of the Central High's PTSA (Parent Teacher Student Association)... She encouraged parents to join their school's parent organizations, to check on homework projects, and to monitor mid-term progress reports."

Many teachers also suggest that parents communicate via Internet discussion boards and email, not only to check on a student's progress and overall activity, but to keep updated on things like projects and mid-term and final exams. Read more at CommercialAppeal.com.

Keeping the lines of communication open with your teen will help prevent teenage drug abuse. Learn how to you can help your teenager at DrugRehabTreatment.com.

Labels: communication, networking, parenting

Another school year is just around the corner. Many teens' lives become incredibly hectic once school starts; between actual classes and all the extracurricular activity. Helping a teen get and stay organized will help him better manage the near-chaos of school life.

"Organization means stuff management as well as time management, and these life skills are closely intertwined, experts say. Taking the time to toss or donate unused items, setting up systems to store what remains and creating a command center for dates and homework will save time - and stress - every day."

Experts say there's a difference between being disorganized and being messy. A teen that's disorganized will be late nearly every day because he was searching for homework or a permission slip. A messy teen will know which pile of papers has what he needs. Read more at MontereyHerald.com.

Looking for boarding high schools? Find a complete list at TeenBoardingSchools.com.

Labels: homework, stress, time_management

The competition seems to get tougher and tougher. Even in her freshman year of college, your child might begin vying for post-graduate internships and jobs. But as Sue Shellenbarger from The Wall Street Journal has watched this scenario unfold in her own household, she's less concerned about the level of competition and more concerned with the ultimate career paths her kids are choosing.

"Although I'm glad my son, 16, and my daughter, 19, are thinking about jobs, their deliberations hold none of the curiosity or sense of exploration that I recall feeling at their age. Instead, they seem rushed and grim."

Most young people feel a high level of "career anxiety", according to college counselors. This anxiety causes them to choose a career path - any path - very early and set about pursuing it without much thought to what they actually enjoy or might find satisfying. Ask leading questions when your teen begins talking about work and a career. Help him discover not only his natural talents, but the ways he enjoys using those talents. Be one of the few voices in your kid's life that's telling her it's ok to choose a career she actually loves. Read more at OCRegister.com.

The best boarding schools will offer your teenager a peak at different career choices by offering a variety of classes. Find a boarding school for your teen at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: careers, education, stress

Recent studies have found that kids as young as ten are beginning to use illegal steroids to increase their athletic performances. A myriad of health problems have been linked to steroid use, especially in bodies that are still growing and developing. The recent media frenzy surrounding Barry Bonds creates just the open door that parents need to begin discussing steroid use with their children.

"If you haven't heard, Barry Bonds just tied the home run record. This is the perfect opportunity to start up the 'steroid talk' with your kids. Whether Bonds did or didn't use muscle-building enhancers shouldn't be the key point; instead, focus your conversation on 'Should he or shouldn't he?'"

Find out what your child knows about steroid use. Learn as much as you can so that you can make a strong case when you talk. Be sure your child is clear about the health risks involved in using steroids. And if your child is an athlete, no matter how talented, be careful not to place too much emphasis on his or her performance as this could be a motivating factor for steroid use. Read more at Micheleborba.ivillage.com.

Often, kids who are involved in sports, are less likely to find themselves with a teen drug addiction. If your teenager is addicted to drugs or alcohol, find out how you can help at DrugRehabTreatment.com.

Labels: communication, drugs, steroids

Teens seem to have mastered, at an early age, the ability to re-direct a discussion in order to avoid something unpleasant. When asked to clean, or be home at a certain time, teens have a knack for turning the focus onto something completely different.

"And the most effective way they sidetrack you is through certain responses - call them their greatest hits - that they hope will undo your words. They're hoping you'll say 'Oh. I'm sorry. I've changed mind. It was inconsiderate of me to ask you to clean up the TV room. I'll do it myself.'"

Phrases like "I hate you" simply re-direct the conversation from curfew to your level of affection for your child. It's a discussion that no one wins and that often disintegrates into a full-blown argument. And at the end, you still haven't settled the original curfew issue. If your teen is truly upset, acknowledge his feelings, but make sure the conversation stays on track. Read more at TheGlobeandMail.com.

Teens who lash out at their parents may have positive experiences with equine therapy. Learn more about the equine therapy program at Aspen Ranch.

Labels: arguments, communication, consequences

When a new teen driver gets added to his parents' insurance, the insurance often increases dramatically. In an effort to keep costs down, and keep kids safe, several companies and organizations have developed systems for monitoring teen drivers.

"Rookie tags: The mother-and-son team of Corinne and Austin Fortenbacher of Spring Lake, Mich., has developed a line of magnets and removable vinyl stickers starting at about $7 that identify novice teen drivers and promote safe habits."

Other companies have developed GPS tracking systems, or "how's my driving?"-type bumper stickers. None of these is guaranteed to reduce insurance premiums directly, but they can keep a teen's driving record clear, which will at least keep insurance premiums steady. Read more online.

Some of the best boarding schools can be found throughout the US. Find the best school for your child at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: driving, money

There's no shortage of special news reports and newspaper articles about the dangers of on line social networking sites like MySpace. But most of MySpace is positive and safe.

"Kids raise money for mission trips, they raise the profile for their music or art, and they have direct access to millions of people without wading through the corporate cesspool. Composers of all sorts still post their music on their pages, and in our rootless society, friends and family from around the world can log on and hear it."

MySpace Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam says that safety remains a top priority for the web site, but that technical solutions only work if parents are teaching teens to be safe, too. Read more at VailTrail.com.

Drugs and teens don't have to go together. Learn how you can prevent your child from going down the wrong path at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: internet, positivies, safety

It's estimated that 60 percent of the tween population will have cell phones by the year 2010. A tween is defined as anyone between 8 and 12 years of age. The rising trend is due mostly to parents who view cell phones as a good way to keep track of their kids.

"Elizabeth Englander, a psychology professor at Bridgewater State College, says there can be positive and negative aspects to a child as young as 7 or 8 years old having a cell. She says it all depends on weighing a phone's pros and cons. She says there is an advantage to a younger child having a cell phone to call a parent during an emergency or to be picked up, but that kids and parents must be aware of the possible dangers."

Dangers include a child being called by someone who intends them harm, or the possibility of receiving disturbing pictures or videos on their phone. The likelihood of these things happening is minimal, and it's up to parents to decide if the benefits outweigh the potential negatives. Read more at TheSunChronicle.com.

Boarding schools for middle school girls can get a tween who's headed down the wrong path back on track. New Leaf Academy is a private girls schools with campuses in Central Oregon and North Carolina.

Labels: cell_phones, safety, tweens

No parent wants to see their child hurt or rejected. The desire to protect children from potentially hurtful situations is natural. But parenting expert Dr. James Dobson warns that overprotective parents may inhibit their children's emotional and relational development.

"...in order for your children to become healthy, successful, mature adults, they need to gradually learn independence and responsibility throughout their childhood. Dobson warns that overprotection can cause a child to fall behind in their preparation for adulthood. And a child who hasn't had to solve his own problems won't know how to resolve conflict with other children, and additionally may face rejection... Other risks of overprotection include selfishness, self-centeredness, indecisiveness, lack of self-discipline, unpreparedness for adult freedom and responsibility."

It's important to give your child age-appropriate responsibilities and teach him conflict resolution. Though it's hard to see children get hurt or rejected, they need to learn how to process feelings of sorrow or pain that come from those situations. Read more at 1190kex.com.

Teens with out of control feelings and behaviors can benefit from a residential treatment center like the Aspen Insittute that helps by assessing their behaviors and creating a treatment plan. Visit www.aspenassessment.com to learn more.

Labels: development, parenting_styles, problem_solving

SafeCo is preparing to launch a new program called "Teensurance", meant to help parents monitor the driving habits of their teenagers. The program consists of a GPS device that can be installed in a car to record information. Parents can then monitor the information on line.

"The service, for $15 per month, gives drivers 24/7 roadside assistance, and lets parents set speed limits and 'safe driving zones,' and use curfew reminders."

If a driver goes over the speed limit or leaves a designated safety zone, an alert is sent via text message or email. SafeCo Vice President Jim Havens said they developed Teensurance in response to parental concerns over teenagers' initial driving period. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, car crashes are the number one cause of death among U.S. teenagers. Read more at StatesmanJournal.com.

Mention the term "teenage drug addiction" to any parent and you'll see a look of concern cross their face. Lear more at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: driving, safety

Tweens are not quite teenagers, but they're not kids anymore either. It's a difficult time for both child and parent. As a tween begins to exercise more independence, and as hormones begin working overtime, some parents unintentionally distance themselves from their kids.

"But tweens need to feel they have a secure nest as they launch themselves into the exciting but scary world. Kids who feel disconnected from their parents lose their anchor and look for it in their peer group."

Having a strong bond with your tween is the best way to for both of you to navigate these years. Harsh discipline and stiff punishments will only work until your child starts to challenge you. Commit to regular family dinners, one-on-one time with each parent, and setting reasonable boundaries. Read more at HealthNewsDigest.com.

Residential boarding schools offer academics and activities that public schools just aren't able to. Learn more at TeenBoardingSchools.com.

Labels: communication, independence, punishment

Text messaging has become as common as a phone call for today's teens. Many send text messages to their friends when their in the same house, or even sitting right next to each other. For some parents, the costs of text messages are getting out of control.

"'If parents can't control the amount of text-messaging their child is doing, they should use a wireless plan that offers unlimited texting for one set price, '[Heather McLaughlin] says. 'Another solution, that I don't think is being used, would be for wireless companies to offer parental control that could set the hours in a day their child can send and receive text messages.'"

Another alternative for parents to consider is having the child pay any extra fees incurred by excessive text messaging. It would give the parent a great opportunity for talking about finances and the fact that privileges like cell phones don't come for free. Read more NashuaTelegraph.com.

Outdoor education programs help teens unplug and get back to basics. Visit Wilderness-Programs-Info.com for more information.

Labels: cell_phones, money, text_messaging