News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

When Wendy Shalit wrote her first book, A Return to Modest: Discovering the Lost Virtue, she was surprised at the response she received. While people from the baby boom generation reacted with animosity, the younger generations responded quite favorably. This has led her to publish a follow-up work called Girls Gone Mild, which addresses the sexual pressures many young women face.

"'It's about how people misunderstand the "good girl,"' she said in an early July interview here. She believes society often ostracizes these girls or views them as "people pleasing." Instead, she said they are actually "rebels" in choosing to go against teachers and parents to live a chaste lifestyle."

As part of her research, she interviewed more than 100 girls and young women, and communicated via her web site with more than 3,000 others. Shalit's hope is to encourage young girls to stand against the pressures to be sexually promiscuous, and do so without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. Read more at Catholic.org.

If you daughter is struggling with sexual promiscuity or other risky behaviors, then Copper Canyon Academy can help. Copper Canyon Academy is an all girls boarding school that offers academics within a therapeutic program designed to bring out the best in girls.

Labels: abstinence, girls, sex

Recently, a fatal crash in Ontario County, New York took the lives of several teenagers. Authorities suspect the driver may have been sending a text message from her cell phone in the moments before the crash. It sounds astonishing, but texting and driving are becoming more common among teens.

"'The two main factors in accidents involving teens are inexperience and distractions', said Dan Strollo, president of In Control Advanced Driver Training."

A recent survey by FOX News in Minnesota found that 86 percent of teens admitted reading text messages while driving. Seventy-five percent admitted to sending text messages while behind the wheel. Read more online.

If text messaging is the least of your worries, you might be facing more serious problems with your teenager, like adolescent substance abuse. Learn more about adolescent substance abuse and what you can do to help your child at the Teen-Help-Directory.com.

Labels: driving, safety, text_messaging

On June 5th, a parent's worst nightmare became reality for the parents of Elizabeth Smart when she was abducted from their Salt Lake City home. The criminals threatened physical harm to Elizabeth, which was enough to keep her and her younger sister quiet. How does a parent combat this kind of tactic when fear is such a deeply ingrained part of the human psyche?

"Detective Ryan O’Connell, 30-year police veteran, advises, 'You have to drill into your children the fact that NOISE is their best defense in the face of abduction. Regardless of what threat is being made at them or their loved ones, they MUST raise alarm, cause a commotion, put the fear of being caught into the bad person.'"

Age-appropriate tips should be communicated often to children. And though children shouldn't be taught to live in fear, they should learn to be aware of their surroundings and how best to stay safe. Read more at Take2Max.com.

Labels: awareness, communication, safety

In the age of text messages, internationally-equipped cell phones and MySpace pages, teens are closer to and more in touch with their parents than ever before. But is that a good thing? Or has something important been sacrificed in these new parent-teen friendships?

"Instead of saying 'Go get a Saturday job if you want to go clubbing', you see parents hand over the money - and then ask their teenagers if they can go clubbing with them. That may appear cute, but it is not good. As parents, you have got to be prepared to take the unpopularity hit."

The risk with blurring the line between parent and friend is that kids begin relying too heavily on mom and dad for just about everything. It may sound good when kids are young, but can pose big problems when it's time for them to make their own way. Read more at Women.TimesOneline.co.uk.

Finding that balance between being a friend and being a parent can be difficult for some parents. Read how Over-Protective Child-Rearing is Ruining Kids' Lives to learn why you need to learn to let go.

Labels: parenting, role_models, seperation

Many teenagers will give excuses as to why they can't or shouldn't work during the summer. Some say they need the "down time", a chance to relax after the rigors of school. And while some relaxation is good and necessary, a completely sedentary summer is not mentally or physically healthy. Instead, encourage your teen to get at least a part-time summer job.

"...make clear to them that doing nothing all summer is not an option... Most parents don't realize that just taking a firm stand has a strong influence on their teenager. And most teenagers don't actually dislike the idea of getting a job."

Teens want to have that extra spending money, and most are much more responsible than we give them credit for being. Spend time helping your teen find work. Don't do everything for him; he needs to make an effort on his own. But many teens don’t know where to start and will need some guidance. Read more at TheGlobeandMail.com.

Think your teen may make a great summer camp counselor? Find a list of summer camp jobs at SummerCampsInfo.com.

Labels: jobs, money, summer

As teens begin wanting to live more independently, it's natural for them to test the boundaries set by parents. They may test boundaries of curfews, clothing, or school involvement. But if parents know each other, and keep lines of communication open about what their kids are doing and where they are, parents can present a united front against the boundary testing.

"Know who your kids' friends are, talk to their parents. Have a meeting and establish common curfews and rules about parties, drinking and driving. If they're spending the night at a friend's house, verify that with parents."

If parents catch a teen breaking curfew or some other established rule, there need to be consequences. Parents should agree on an appropriate punishment, which should be specific to the child and should make a lasting impression. Read more at TheState.com.

Boarding high schools offer academics and activities that public schools just can't. The Academy at Swift River is a boarding high school in western Massachusetts. Find other boarding high schools at TeenBoardingSchools.com.

Labels: boundaries, communication, consequences

Over the last coupe of weeks, homes and parents all across America have been welcoming college students returning home for the summer. While both student and parent are usually glad to see each other, tensions can begin to arise as the children exert more independence and the parents wonder at the lack of communication, untidy rooms, and new piles of laundry.

"[Natalie] Caine says one of the biggest and most common mistakes parents make is asking too many questions. She says this can alienate college students and make them feel as if their parents don't trust them."

College-age children and parents have very different views on the parent-child relationship. The parent thinks that less communication means the relationship will deteriorate, while the child believes that the relationship will remain strong and doesn't need as much attention. Read more at BendBulletin.com.

Labels: college, communication, rules

There seems to be a growing sense of entitlement among children and teens. Often it's caused by parents who are spending long hours at the office, and feel guilty for spending less time with their kids. To make up for their absence, the parents let their kids have nearly anything they want from X-boxes to iPods and extra-late curfews.

"If this issue resonates with your family, refocus your efforts by promoting what is important in life: family and friends, the values of compassion and honesty, helping others (have your kids volunteer for the sick or needy), religious beliefs, working toward in important goal, etc."

Assign household chores to teach your kids responsibility. And when you do have time to spend with them, spend it talking rather than shopping for the latest MP3 player or video game. Play a round of putt-putt golf or go get ice cream. Kids crave parents’ time much more than their material gifts. Read more at PoconoRecord.com.

Many parents and psychologists wonder if unconditional love, constantly praising children, not criticizing them under any circumstances, and emphasizing feelings wasn't a big mistake. Read more in the article Narcissistic and Entitled to Everything! Does Gen Y Have Too Much Self-Esteem?

Labels: brats, entitlement, parenting_styles

Some parents prefer a more affectionate, permissive style when relating to and disciplining their teens. Other parents tend to be stricter and show very little emotion. Each style has its good and bad points, and either is unhealthy if taken to the extreme.

"The bottom line of parenting is providing caring support on a regular basis. That means learning to see teens as whole persons rather than as 'a stage or age;' seeing them positively and believing in their capacity for good and seeking ways to enhance and develop it; engaging them or being actively involved with them regularly."

Both the overly permissive and the overly strict parenting style can push teens away, causing them to seek either the boundaries or affection they desire elsewhere. Keeping a healthy balance and offering consistent care and support make all the difference. Read more at News-Press.com.

Worried about adolescent substance abuse? Think you may be dealing with teen drug abuse or addiction? DrugRehabTreatment.com has the answers you're looking for and ways to help you talk to your teen about drugs.

Labels: boundaries, parenting_styles, support

"Online predator" is a phrase that's become well-known thanks to shows like Dateline's To Catch a Predator. Social networking sites have been the subject of news stories and all-school events where kids are warned not to post pictures or personal information on line. But Anastasia Goodstein, author of the book Totally Wired, thinks some of the scare tactics might be overstated.

"The biggest myth that has been perpetuated by well meaning law enforcement, Internet safety advocates, and the media is that the Internet is teeming with predators who are waiting for your child to post just enough information so they can find them and abduct them."

The truth is that, of the 800,000 kids that are reported missing every year, only about 150 are actually kidnapped by strangers. Most men who seek out kids and teenagers online aren't secretive about their identity. Most, about 80% are very open about who they are and what they want. The kids who talk to these men are often kids who have suffered some kind of physical or sexual abuse or have an otherwise troubled home life. Read more at PBS.org.

Labels: internet, media_infuences, safety

Meredith Corporation, publisher of magazines like "Better Homes and Gardens" and "Family Circle" is launching a broadband network called Parents.tv. Designed to appeal to Gen-X and Gen-Y parents, it will feature video clips ranging in length from two to thirty minutes.

"Parents.tv will cull content from Meredith's 'Parents', 'American Baby', 'Family Circle' and 'Child' titles, focusing on subjects ranging from pregnancy to raising older teens. The site will feature community tools, branded content, resources and e-commerce..."

The companion video site, Better.tv will feature topics like fitness, child health, and fashion. Read more online.

Labels: advice, parenting_tips, resources

Earning parents' trust and increased freedom is something that should happened gradually with a teenage child. While you don't want to hover - which can cause teens to start lying to and avoiding you - you do want to follow-up, especially at the beginning when trust is still being established.

"There are three principles parents need to understand about teen trust. The first: Trust must be earned. Teens earn trust by proving to the parents that they can be trusted to be where they say they will be, come home at the agreed-upon time, and always tell parents the truth. Parents start out allowing the teen to prove trustworthiness in baby steps. The first step might be going to a friend's house or the library after school."

If trust is broken, the teen has to start from the beginning, re-establishing his trustworthiness. Read more at AZStarNet.com.

Children and teens with ADD, Autism, and Asperger's Syndrome can often lack important social skills and need help from their teachers and families for clues on how they should behave. Learn how you can help at YourLittleProfessor.com.

Labels: communication, respect, responsibility

No matter how much the world changes, some things always stay the same; like kids fighting in the car during a family vacation. Despite inventions like iPods and portable DVD players, vacations almost always include some family tension. But, some parenting experts say there are ways to reduce the tension and make the trip fun for everyone.

"The worst thing moms and dads can do is sit the kids down and talk about how awful the drive will be and then threaten them to behave. When [Carleton] Kendrick took long drives with his children, he tried to make the road a fun experience and to do 'goofy things we've never done before.'"

Play games, sing songs, and above all - take your time. Don't try to cram too much into one day. Instead, consider picking a closer destination so you can drive less and spend more time stopping and enjoying the scenery along the way.

Read more at BendBulletin.com.

Labels: driving, role_models, vacation

Acronyms like IDK and OMG used to be reserved for on line chatting and cell phone text messaging. But some tweens (pre-teens) have begun using it in everyday language.

"Welcome to the age of the acronyms. It dawned in the late 1990s as Internet users began flocking to message boards... It has evolved into a spoken language among young teens and middle school students, who use acronyms to speak to their friends in shorthand..."

The trend seems to be almost exclusive to middle school students. Many high school students (especially juniors and seniors) claim that they're "so over" the acronyms and only use them to be sarcastic. Read more at HonoluluAdvertiser.com.

Excel Academy offers a Junior High Boarding School for middle school students who have started down the wrong path. Excel Academy gives tweens an opportunity to learn a new way to live early in life and the chance to arrest their destructive behaviors before they worsen and harm themselves or others. Learn more at ExcelAcademy.com.

Labels: communication, middle_school, tweens

You may be surprised to learn that 80 percent of all high school dropouts are boys. What is more, boys comprise fewer than 50 percent of the current college population. A decade ago, girls were seriously lagging behind boys so teaching strategies were altered to accommodate the unique ways that girls learn. Now, the girls have caught up and are out-performing boys, while boys are falling further and further behind in reading and writing.

To understand how girls and boys learn differently, you need to know how physiological, social and brain differences affect how boys learn.

Boarding Schools for Boys is a great site that lists all-boy schools, explains why boys do better in schools without girls, and offers tips to encourage your son to learn and make the most of his education.

Labels: all-boy_schools, schools_for_boys, single_gender_schools

Maggie Modjeski has fond memories of her dad. Growing up, he was never a harsh disciplinarian, but always found creative ways to make sure she learned the lessons she would need later in life.

"The morning after I had my first experience with alcohol and didn't feel good, he didn't lecture for my wrong doings – but I was not going to stay in bed. I was going to have a full breakfast and full day as planned."

The organization Dads and Daughters (DADS) recently conducted a national poll of fathers, in which they discovered that 75% of dads said they had a good or great relationship with their daughters, but only 1/3 believed their involvement was vital to their daughters' well-being. Read more at WinonaDailyNews.com.

The absence of a father figure in a teens' life can result in teenage drug abuse and addiction. Learn the signs of teen drug use at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: fathers, influences, role_models

At-Risk-Youth.com is a new website/blog dedicated to providing troubled adolescents and their parents with valuable and timely information about the issues that face today's youth. When adolescents exhibit destructive behaviors, parents often feel helpless and confused about how to help their child, who may struggling with issues such as substance abuse, violence, weight management, learning disabilities, eating disorders, and other behavioral and emotional issues. At-Risk-Youth.com provides parents with the information and resources that will help their children reach their full potential.

At-Risk-Youth.com provides parents and their children with helpful tools, such as information about therapeutic programs, rehabilitation programs, and boarding schools, along with information for parents about the issues that their children are facing. The resources provided by At-Risk-Youth.com are intended to help families deal with these complex issues so that they can make the choices that will help get their children back on the right path.

Labels: at-risk_youth, help_for_parents, resources

"Whatever, Mom." "Yeah right, Dad, I'm not cleaning the kitchen, it's Brad's turn!" Teens talking back has become more common in this latest generation of adolescents. Many parenting experts point the finger at the parents, citing an inability to gain the proper respect.

"...contrary to popular belief, the main reason that children today talk back to their parents is not because of something that parents are doing wrong – but because of something they are doing right. Over the past couple of generations, there has been a revolution in parenting practices – harsh forms of punishment are not longer considered acceptable."

The elimination of harsher forms of punishment ("the switch" or hard smacks across the face) means that kids aren't scared of their parents. But it also means they're likely to be more sensitive to the suffering of others. One of the best ways a parent can respond when a teen talks back is to not respond. If you ask a question and get a sarcastic response ask the question again, and keep asking until you get a response that's appropriate.

Read more at TheGlobeandMail.com.

Labels: punishment, pushovers, respect

No parent wants to hear that their child is being bullied at school. Both the parents and the child can feel helpless. But there are ways to handle bullying that will help your child learn to stand up for himself even if the bullying continues.

"The child has to feel empowered to stand up for themselves. So, together, you can prepare what your child wants to say, what they don't like about what the bully is doing and what they want them to do differently. Then strategize about when and where to approach this child."

Some children won't feel comfortable talking to you if they're being bullied. If your child is suddenly making excuses to stay home from school, or has a drastic change in appetite (either eating more or less), there may be something going on that he or she isn't telling you. Don’t be afraid to ask. Read more at MSNBC.com.

Bullies and children with behavioral problems can benefit from a Brat Camp like Sage Walk or Turn-About Ranch. Both programs have been featured on US and UK television series of the same name. Learn more about Brat Camps at www.bratcamps.com.

Labels: brats, bullying, communication