News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

A new 30-second television commercial will air on NBC on April 30th. Titled "Daddy's Girl", the spot emphasizes the importance of saying "no" and guiding teenagers in making healthy decisions, especially when it comes to underage drinking.

"According to a recent survey conducted by Data Development Worldwide for Anheuser-Bush, 98 percent of parents agree that it's never OK for parents to buy alcohol for their own teens and other teens at parties or gatherings. Unfortunately, some parents say 'yes' when faced with this situation. Research has found that two-thirds of teens who drink say they get alcohol from their parents or other adults."

The Roper Youth Report, an annual survey of teens, reports that 74 percent of teenagers consistently name their parents as the number one influence on their decision to drink or not. Read more online.

Labels: influences, parenting, pushovers

As children get older and develop a larger social circle, curfew often becomes an issue. Arguments over curfew are common in households with teenagers. If you've set a curfew and your teen wants it to be later, set up a system that allows him to get there.

"Pick a beginning curfew... Of course, your son will want it to be later. Tell him there is a way to get there and you are going to provide him with a map. If he honors the curfew for four months, then he will have earned an additional 15 minutes added to his curfew."

Of course, this "map" works in reverse as well. If your teen is late, the "earning period" starts all over again. Pick times and time periods that work for your family and use curfew as a way of teaching your teen how to set and achieve short-term goals. Read more at ParentingIdeas.com.

Labels: communication, parenting tips, responsibility

Many parents love to send their kids to summer camp - it keeps their children busy and they don't have to spend the summer worrying if their child is getting into trouble. But now every kid can succeed in a traditional summer camp - just as schools have issues with bullies, summer camps can too. Parents whose kids have special needs or learning differences often worry that sleep-away camp will mean weeks of torment for their kid.

Not so today. There are summer camps that specialize in serving kids who might not thrive in the typical summer camp environment.

Talisman summer camps offer all types of adventures for kids with ADHD, learning differences, and Asperger's syndrome. Their main campsite is located in North Carolina, but they have also recently added adventure camps in New York's Adirondacks and in Washington State, including a sailing program for teens with Asperger's syndrome.

Camp Huntington in New York specializes in fun summer camps for children and teens with autism, PDD (pervasive developmental disabilities), and cognitive disabilities.

If you have a teen who is just too rebellious for a regular summer camp, maybe a wilderness adventure or wilderness therapy program would be a good choice this summer.

Whatever your child's particular personality or needs there is sure to be a summer camp that is right for them.

Labels: summer camps

A new study published in the Journal of American Medicine indicates that antidepressant drugs prescribed for children and adolescents have benefits that outweigh their risks.

Other research posed a link between increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior. This research caused the Federal Drug Administration to require warning labels on pediatric antidepressant medications.

Dr. Jeffrey Bridge of the Ohio State University in Columbus, OH, found that using such drugs increased the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors by less than one percent. There were no actual suicides in found in his review of randomized controlled trails involving drugs prescribed to young people suffering from depressive disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and non obsessive-compulsive anxiety.

"The strength of the evidence supports the cautious and well-monitored use of antidepressant medications as one of the first-line treatment options," Dr. Bridges said.

Do you have a troubled teenager that hasn't responded to previous treatments? More than just a residential treatment center, the Aspen Institute, conducts all of the assessments necessary to provided specific and actionable recommendations for your child. If you are struggling with how to help your teen, the Aspen Institute for Behavioral Assessment can bring clarity of diagnosis and provide the best treatment options available. Aspen Institute is more than a residential treatment center, visit www.aspenassessment.com to learn more today.

Labels: anti-depression medications, depression, suicide

Teenagers used to flock to malls to spend their (or mom and dad's) hard-earned money. But spas are seeing a steadily increasing number of teen girls come in for things like manicures, pedicures, and facial treatments.

"While some businesses wrestle with implementing consent forms for teens who request services such as bikini waxes, others see their treatments as providing moms and daughters and girlfriends with healthy outlets for relaxation and bonding."

Most spas see moms and daughters come in together, though some occasionally host "massage parties" for girls as young as eight. Read more at KansasCity.com.

Labels: bonding, hanging-out, parties

Teens who work during the school year are becoming increasingly common. The U.S. Census bureau reports that about 2.9 million teens hold down jobs while going to school. Becky O'Connor, career educator, believes jobs can teach valuable lessons.

"'Responsibility - just everything that goes along with being a good employee - they're certainly learning those on the job,' O'Connor said."

While the National Consumer's League advises against delivery or construction works, jobs that teach accountability and discipline will help prepare teens for the future. Read more online.

Aspen Achievement Academy, a licensed treatment program located in Utah, helps teens by integrating an accredited academic component, a sophisticated therapeutic model, and an experiential education curriculum in a healing wilderness environment. Read about Aspen Achievement Academy's therapeutic program for teens...

Visit their website to learn more about Aspen Achievement Academy and how they create a modern "rite of passage" designed to assist adolescents in making the transition to responsible young adulthood.

Labels: accountability, jobs, responsibility

More shopping malls are requiring that adults accompany teens under age sixteen during certain hours, particularly on weekends. Malls are also putting in teen curfews, most often on Friday and Saturday nights.

So far, only about forty out of the nation's 1100 malls have put such rules into effect, but these include some of the largest facilities such as the Mall of America in Minnesota, which has 520 stores.

The idea behind the curfew and chaperon rules is to make the malls friendlier to families.

Labels: chaperons, curfews, families

This can be a tough questions for many parents to answer. No one wants to think that their child is a bully, but if he or she is it's important to intervene and teach them respect for other children, especially children who have special needs that make them seem "different."

Teens with Asperger Syndrome tend to be objects of a bully's attention. Because kids with Asperger's can seem socially awkward, then are often tormented by bullies. Imagine how these children feel when they are continually targetted with cruel comments and even physical aggression (tripping them, throwing things at them).

How can you tell if your child is the type of person who bullies those who seem "different?" Listen to how they talk about other children. If you overhear your child mocking other kids' disabilities, step in immediately. Explain to him or her why this is cruel, and why their attitude is unacceptable.

If teachers mention to you that your child bullies other students, do not get defensive. The worst thing you can do as a parent is excuse your child's hostile behavior toward his or her peers. The sooner you deal with this type of behavior, the more likely you are to raise a child who becomes a compassionate adult who respects others.

Learn about Camp Huntington special needs summer camps.

Labels: asperger, bullying

Rosalind Wiseman, author of the book which inspired the movie "Mean Girls" has a unique message for parents: parents and their children aren't perfect, no matter their status. Many parents strive to keep their kids on a "perfect path" of being academically, athletically, and socially perfect - but nobody's perfect.

"So many times... parents buy into the same cultural ideas as their children as they fight to keep flawless appearances or push their children to compete with others. Rather than focusing on getting their children in the AP Physics course or on a sports team, parents should be in the business of raising 'socially competent children.'"

Though her advice is mainly directed at parents of teenagers, it's good information for those whose children haven't yet reached the teen years. Read more at Bradenton.com.

Labels: influences, role models, social_pressure

Most teenagers take on summer jobs so they've got some spending money. Others work year-round so they can both spend and save. If you teach your teenager how to manage money, he can develop good habits now that will benefit him for the rest of his life.

"Have them take the very first paycheck and... blow it... Here's why I suggest having them spend it: They get to experience the benefits of hard work and have some fun. After the first paycheck, here's how to handle every other paycheck, for the rest of their lives. I call this the 10 by 4 solution. With each and every paycheck, take 10 percent and put it in four different places."

Have them save, give away, pay off debt, and save for something specific with 10 percent of every paycheck. The remaining 60 percent can be used to pay off bills, spend going out with friends or going shopping for the latest fashion trends. Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Labels: money, responsibility, working

Michael Unger has been counseling troubled teens from a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds for over twenty years. In that time, he's seen some potentially dangerous changes in the ways we parent our children.

"'In our mania to provide emotional life jackets for our kids, helmets and seat belts, approved playground equipment, after-school supervision, an endless stream of evening programming, and no place to hang out but the local mall, we parents are accidentally creating a generation of youth who are not ready for life,' Unger writes."

Parents experts seem to have "come out of the woodwork" lately, warning parents that every decision they make could "make or break" their child's self-esteem and or jeopardize their future. Unger has released a book titled Too Safe for Their Own Good: How Risk and Responsibility Help Teens Thrive, in an effort to put some perspective back into parenting. Read more at TheStar.com.

Labels: dependent, helicopter_parenting, independence

In DeKalb County, Illinois, the Youth Services Bureau is launching a six-week program based on Dr. Michael Popkin's book "Active Parenting for Teens". The program is designed to help parents better understand their teenage children and offer suggestions for communicating, setting rules and boundaries, and more.

"As part of the six-week program, the parents discuss various topics such as improving a teenagers self esteem, parenting styles for dealing with a teenager, disciplining a teenager and becoming more involved in a teenager's life. Trisha McKendry, coordinator for the Active Parenting of Teens program, said they also discuss other issues such as drug use, sexual activity, and alcohol consumption among teenagers."

Some parents who participate in the program sign up on their own; others are referred through DeKalb social services programs. The program is getting great feedback. Parents have said they are able to really talk to their teens, enforce rules and curfews without explosive arguments, and show their love and affection in ways their teens understand. Read more at MidWeekNews.com.

Labels: arguments, communication, involment

The state of Washington discovered in a recent study that nearly 70 percent of its teenagers gambled in 1999, and those numbers have been increasing. The continual rise in popularity of the Internet, combined with events like Celebrity Poker, is drawing more and more young people into this potentially addictive pastime.

"[Christine] Sogn, a veteran substance-abuse counselor, recalled one teenager who stole $2,000 from his parents, then blew it at a nearby casino. His problem began when he started playing Texas Hold 'Em while still in middle school, according to Sogn."

While most teens don't do things that extreme, many spend excessive amounts of time at online gambling sites. And many parents and teachers are reluctant to talk about it because seems like a "safe" thing to do compared with drug and alcohol issues. Though the danger may not be immediate, it could lay the foundation for gambling problems later in life. Read more at SeattlePi.com.

Labels: addictions, gambling, money

Cooking, cleaning, budgeting, grocery shopping... these are skills that every person needs to have if they're going to live productive lives. Helping your teen begin to learn these and other skills means they'll be better prepared to manage their own lives when they move out on their own.

"By the time your children are in high school, they should be doing for themselves a lot of the things you’ve been doing for them all of their lives."

If you haven't started teaching your teen to be self-sufficient, it's never too late. Simple things like grocery shopping are easy enough. Simply take your teenager with you. You can take her with you on lots of simple errands like picking up dry cleaning and taking your pets to the vet. Not only will this help her learn how to start doing these things on her own, but it provides great opportunities for deeper discussions. Read more at ParentingIdeas.org.

Labels: responsibility, role models, setting_examples

The Allstate Foundation recently completed survey on parental contributions to teen driving safety. The survey revealed that most parents are aware of the fact that car crashes are the number 1 cause of teen deaths. What they don't know is that the crashes are more often caused by driver error or speeding than by drunk driving.

"Additionally, while most parents surveyed feel prepared to teach their teens the rules of the road, 60 percent say they have never heard of or are only vaguely aware of Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) laws."

Graduated Driving Laws are intended to ease teenagers into the responsibilities of driving by requiring a longer period of supervised driving, and restrictions on late-night driving and driving with other teenagers. It's also important for parents to model good driving when in the car with their teens. Read more at TheAutoChannel.com.

Labels: driving, laws

A single mother wrote in to this advice column, asking for help regarding her 11-year-old daughter. The mom is divorced, and her relationship with her daughter is strained to the point that the daughter has moved in with a family member.

"I'm very tired of her mouth, the disrespect she show me and most everything right now. Her half-brother is in juvenile detention because of his mouth. Is it in their genes? I hope you can give me some direction. I haven't talked to her since last week. I'm so upset."

The columnist, Dr. Sylvia Rimm, offers this stressed out mom some hope and some guidance in dealing with her uncooperative pre-teen, including asking for more help and support from her family. Read more at C-N.com.

Labels: communication, juvenile delinquency, single_parent

As a parent, relating to your teen can be tough. They have their own language, their own music and definitely their own fashion styles. Some parents, in an effort to connect with their teenagers, try to emulate teen culture - using the same slang and trying to wear the same kinds of clothing. But that's not what most teens want.

"As parents we need to understand that our teens want us to be grown up. This can be incredibly easy for us to miss or forget... They want us to be the people who know what's going on. They want us to be in charge. They want us to provide the security, the rules, the guidance, and the lookout."

Instead of trying to be the "cool" parent, be the parent your kids know they can count on. If they know they can come to you and depend on you when they have questions or - heaven forbid - a crisis, they will. Read more at TimesSentinel.com.

Labels: communication, role models, teen_culture

Children who live in families that report more stress than normal have more fevers and illness, according to a new study done at the University of Rochester Medical Center.

Researchers studied 169 children ages 5 to 10 for three years. Parents kept weekly records of their children's health and used digital thermometers to keep track of fevers. They also answered questions about the family's stress levels.

The study found that families reporting greater stress had children had fevers more often.

"I figured families under stress might think their children were sick more often when they actually weren't," said Dr. Mary Caserta, principal investigator on the study. "But fevers are not subjective. These kids living with chronic stress in their families really were sick more often."

The researchers also concluded that a child's natural killer cell function increases under chronic stress, but they were not sure why. This study appears in the March 2007 issue of the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine.

Labels: children, health, stress