The By Parents For Parents Blog is regularly updated with the latest news and information on topics that relate to parenting teenagers. We'll post parenting advice and tips from trusted online news sources and expert parenting columns.
We invite you to add your comments. Please let us know if you would like some specific topics covered, want to share your experience as a parent dealing with teens, or just have general feedback on the By Parents For Parents Blog.
How Young is Too Young for a Cellphone?
Should 12-year-olds have cellphones? What about 11-year-olds? How about ten-year-olds? New York Times writer Alina Tugend talks about why she and her husband decided to get their 10-year-old son his own phone. Although they didn't often lavish high-tech toys on their boys, the Tugend's found it less expensive than they thought to outfit their oldest son with his own phone. While parents see the value of kids having phones for safety reasons, tweens and teens see it as must for being considered "cool" and "in" by their peers. Learn more about the pros and cons of giving cellphones to pre-teens and teenagers from the
New York Times.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:28 PM
Help Your Teen Get a Good Night's Sleeep
School is back in session and your teenagers' schedules are probably packed full. Between school, work, extra-curricular activities, and a social life, your teen has a lot to keep track of and a lot to accomplish. You can help him be at his best by helping him get a good night's sleep, and
News 10 out of New York has posted on their web site a short list of suggestions for doing just that.
In addition to the article, there's a short video that parents can watch which contains more helpful tips.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:57 PM
Questions About MySpace Answered
It seems that everyday there's another story about a teen or pre-teen being inappropriately propositioned on MySpace. We've all heard the story of the teen who flew, without her parents' knowledge, to the Middle East to see a boy that she had met on MySpace. The web site just doesn't get much good publicity. But is it really so dangerous? And how can parents protect their kids from online predators who use MySpace and other online communities?
Red Herring recently talked with Hemanshu Nigam about how to keep your kids safe on MySpace and the Internet at large.
"...you've been parenting in the physical world since your child was born. The same rules that apply in the physical world apply very nicely in the digital world."
Nigam goes on to talk about the new security measures that MySpace is taking, and a new campaign with Seventeen magazine to educate parents about Internet safety.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:35 PM
Mom and Dad Need to be on the Same Page
A frustrated parent recently emailed Dr. Bill of
Family.org, asking for advice about parenting her children. Her frustration came from the fact that she and her husband have very different parenting styles. She felt their differences were making them ineffective when disciplining their teens.
"And now the kids are taking advantage of this situation, using us against each other."
It's vitally important that Mom and Dad find common ground when disciplining their children. Otherwise, the children can end up feeling confused and frustrated, just like the parents. Dr. Bill offers this mom some great advice and resources for helping her and her husband get on the same page.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:28 AM
Dealing with Internet Addiction
If you don't know what multiplayer online role-playing games are then consider yourself lucky. Because the players that get caught up in these virtual worlds spend thousands of real dollars to compete and win. In addition, they spend up to eight hours a day staring at a computer or TV screen. Read more about the realities of online gaming addiction from the
Tuscon Citizen.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:05 PM
Know What Your Kids are Reading
Every parent has heard the question "Mom, can I go to the movies with my friends?" Most parents ask not only who's going, but what movie they're planning to see. As a parent, you want to know that your kids aren't watching something inappropriate. But what about what they're reading? Parents haven't had a resource to help them determine the quality of the books their kids are reading, until now.
"Visit the new Facts on Fiction and you'll find a list of more than 125 books (with many more on the way), complete with the kind of specific information busy parents need to make informed decisions about whether a particular book is right for their child."
The reviews take into account several different, potentially negative, categories including sexual content and profane language. It also gives a positive summary on content like teamwork and inspirational characters. The web site doesn't make recommendations, but gives simple facts as to the books content, leaving the decision to the parents.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 12:57 PM
Success in Failure
Parents are naturally protective of their children. But sometimes being too protective can have negative, long-term affects. Courtenay Edelhart of the
Indy Star newspaper talked with parents, and author David Marcus, about the importance of letting children experience the consequences of negative decisions.
"'I used to think that mothers and father have to be there for their kids all the time,' [says author and parent David Marcus], 'and now I see that, oddly enough, one of the most important challenges to a parent is letting them make mistakes and learn from them.'"
Marcus spent five years with deeply troubled teens and has authored a book called "What it Takes to Pull Me Through: Why Teenagers Get in Trouble and How Four of Them Got Out."
Marcus' book features students at the Academy at Swift River - a
therapeutic boarding school in New England. Learn more about Swift River's
college preparatory high school boarding school program >>
posted by ByParents-forParents at 5:24 PM
Getting Beyond "Fine"
Any parent of a teenager knows that getting them to talk to you can be tough. One-word answers like "fine" or "nothing" are common responses to questions like "How was school?" or "What are your plans this weekend?"
The
Carthage Press "Family" section offers some suggestions that may get your teen more involved in conversation.
"Asking a few unusual questions can sometimes bring out stories a teenager normally wouldn't talk about. Clever questions... keep teens and grown-ups taling.."
Several conversation starters are suggested, as are open-ended responses you can give which will encourage your teen to keep talking. Mary Ackerman calls this "asset building", helping your teen develop characteristics that will help him or her to succeed beyond high school.
Are you looking for a program for your troubled teen?
EXCEL ACADEMY in Texas is a therapeutic boarding school for teens struggling with behavioral and emotional issues. Learn more at
www.EXCELACADEMY.com
posted by ByParents-forParents at 4:34 PM
Helping Grieving Children
Children who experience loss need constructive ways to grieve. An Opinion piece in the Cincinnati Enquirer reminds parents that children who experience the loss of a loved one need special time and attention while they're grieving.
"The myth that 'children are resilient' only serves to keep us further distanced from addressing the child's grief, and he or she is left to figure it out on their own."
Life-altering events like divorce, serious illness, or death can leave a child confused and frightened. The child often losses his or her sense of security during this time, and experiences a wide range of emotions that he or she may not know how to process. It's important to help your child through this process by helping him understand that grieving, and all the emotions that go with it, is normal. It's an important process for your child to go through, and vital to her emotional health on into adulthood.
Specialty boarding schools like Mount Bachelor Academy have programs specifically designed to help children deal with grief and loss. Learn more at
www.mtba.com.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 11:30 PM
Teach Good Work Ethic Early
If you want to instill a good work ethic in your kids, start early, says an article posted on a Portland, Maine news site. When your children are as young as three, you can give them simple things to do like putting away their toys. Starting early and easy will go a long way in teaching your children the importance of helping around the house.
"You cannot start at the teen years. Helping children into self-sufficiency begins in infancy, and you gradually build up from there," says Bob Lancer, a teen motivation expert.
For those who wonder how their children will handle household chores in their teenage years, experts agree that you'll have fewer problems if you lay the foundation while they're still very young.
Read the full article
online.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 9:50 AM
Enjoy it Completely
This encouraging article from
Aberdeen, South Dakota urges parents to "enjoy completely" the work of raising your children. Reporter Curtis Phillips, apparently experiencing "empty nest syndrome," reflects on the joys and struggles of parenthood.
"You have to call raising a child a job because that is what it is. After the job is complete, you look back and wonder what was so hard about it... Time has a way of changing our viewpoint about the past."
Though the article doesn't offer any practical, "every day" advice, it offers what is perhaps the best advice any parent can receive: enjoy your children and enjoy your parenthood.
posted by ByParents-forParents at 3:09 PM
Higher Rates of Alcohol Abuse in Plains States
A recent
study by the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration revealed that underage drinking is especially rampant in sparsely populated states like Wyoming, Montana, and North and South Dakota. Some counties in Wyoming reported binge-drinking rates that were 50% above the national average. Both authorities and teenagers say that boredom and a feeling of isolation are primary reasons for high drinking percentages.
"Friday nights in Cody can mean football and a movie, but after 11 o'clock, with nothing else to do, teenagers say they head to somebody's ranch or into the mountains toward Yellowstone National Park to drink."
Authorities also say parents play a role by not disciplining their children when they're caught drinking, and sometimes by even encouraging underage drinking as a "rite of passage."
posted by ByParents-forParents at 10:11 PM
