News, Advice, and Tips for Parenting Teenagers

An article in the Fort Wayne, IN News-Sentinel reports that more parents are using cell phones to keep their children safe and connected. According to Consumer Reports, more than one-third of 11- to 14-year-olds have their own cell phones.

"Ask parents why they furnish their young children with cell phones, and most agree it makes a great safety tool for the child and is convenient for the parent. . ."

Many parents limit the "extras" on their children's cell phones. Features such as text messaging and surfing the internet are either not enabled, or parents set strict use limits.

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In recent months, both China and the Netherlands have started programs or opened halfway houses for teenagers who are addicted to internet use and on-line gaming. Reuters and the BBC report that concern over internet addiction is growing among the counseling and recovery communities.

"Compulsive gamers have similar symptoms to gambling addicts, they say, and risk damage to relationships, health, education, and their careers. . . The eight-bed clinic in Amsterdam was set up in response to a growing demand from people with gaming addictions".

The recovery centers help teens find productive, positive ways to spend their time, and develop healthy self esteem.

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Reuters and MSNBC report that millions of teenagers are either buying alcohol online for themselves or know someone who does. While many states are letting up on the restrictions of online alcohol sales, minors are ordering liquor online at a record pace.

Researchers warn that as awareness and exposure to online alcohol sales
increases, even more minors can be expected to buy beer, wine, and liquor on the
Internet unless steps are taken today to address the problem. "This is a
dangerous situation," said Stan Hastings chairman of the Wine and Spirits
Wholesales of America, Inc. (WSWA), the trade group that commissioned the
survey.

Online merchants and state authorities will have to work together to stop this growing problem. Read more online.

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Today the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) released their annual survey of teens' and parents' attitudes towards substance abuse. Most alarming to experts on adolescent substance abuse is that parents seem to be completely unaware of their children's tions.

Joseph A. Califano, Jr., president and chairman of CASA wants to wake parents up
to their "denial, self-delusion and lack of awareness" at putting their own
teens at enormous risk.

While experts agree that "parents are the single most important factor in determining a teenager's drinking and illegal drug use," the rise of un-chaperoned teen parties and the phenomenon of parents who want to be friends with their teenagers instead of role models and disciplinarians is alarming. Read more about CASA's survey online from The Epoch Times.

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The Rocky Mountain News understands that while some parents can't wait for their teen to head off to college, others are sad to see their sons and daughters go. It's an exciting time for the entire family - and it's a time filled with all kinds of emotions. Parents who worry that their kids aren't ready to be so independent can rest a little easy knowing that colleges know that too. So parents should feel a little better and give their teens some space to grow. Fortunately, nowadays, parents and children can stay connected through a big electronic umbilical cord called the internet. Read more about ways parents can cope with sending their children off to college online.

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Recently, the Macon Telegraph published the top Ten Back to School Tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics. The tips for parents of children and adolescents include making sure immunizations are current, making sure kids get healthy meals at school, choosing the correct backpack, and getting kids to bed early so they get enough sleep. Read more online.

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CBS News and WebMD reports that as website like MySpace grow in popularity among tweens and teens, parents need to become more involved and active in keeping their kids safe online. Today's parents need to monitor their kids online activities, set time limits, and install software to block certain websites and activities. But for the older, tech-savvy teens who can bypass filters and find ways to access the sites they want to, parents need to have regular and frequent talks with their kids about staying safe in cyber world. Learn more online.

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Although many kids go to the same doctor from the time they were born until they go off to college, more and more tweens and teens are switching to doctors who specialize in treating adolescents. Adolescent-medicine specialists recognize that their patients are too young to see the same doctors that adults see and too old to continue seeing their pediatrician.

"Instead, they approach their patients with the knowledge that puberty drives
teens' bodies into maturity in advance of their brains, presenting challenges."

In addition to physical development, adolescent-medicine specials track cognitive development. And because these specialists often spend more time with their patients, they build a rapport that opens the door for tweens and teens to ask questions - questions that they may be too embarrassed to ask their parents. Learn more about doctors who specialize in treating adolescents online from the Indy Star.

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Because adults who never learn to control their impulses can become emotionally crippled, it's important for parents to teach their children patience and perseverance. When a child learns to be patient and to perseverance, they will be able to get through many of life's obstacles, which will help them become successful, happy adults. Long-term studies show children who learn delayed gratification grow into teens who are able to make better decisions, are more socially adept, and do better in school. Learn more from the Shreveport Times.

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Three years ago, a 19-year-old college student killed herself after she began frequenting an online discussion forum for teenagers contemplating suicide. Suzanne Gonzales was a straight-A student who became withdrawn and depressed when she went away to college. Then she found a website that endorsed her suicidal thoughts and told her she was ok for wanting to kill herself. To this day, her parents don't know why she killed herself and are trying to let other parents know about the dangers of online discussion groups that teenagers visit. Experts say that parents should step in whenever they suspect their teen is depressed. Parents can't wait until their teenager comes to them - it might be too late. Read more from ABC News.

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A new video game, by Rockstar Games, named Bully will be on the shelves this holiday season. Why does this matter? Because Bully allows the user the become part of a virtual boarding school environment. Since Rockstar is best known as the makers of Grand Theft Auto - the highly controversial and criticized game that features violence and sex - parents and executives within the gaming industry worried that Bully would encourage players to become bullies themselves. Fortunately, players take on the role of a new 15-year-old boarding school student who must learn to navigate between the various cliques and groups at school while avoiding getting into trouble with the bullies and even standing up to them every once in a while. Read more from the NY Times.

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A new study found that teenage mothers have unrealistic views of what their lives will be like when they have a baby. Most girls, the youngest in particular, didn't see themselves as unprepared; rather they believed that becoming a mother would enhance their "connectedness" to others in their lives. The study also found that pregnant teens fail to get prenatal care, take care of themselves, and have a higher risk of having low birth-weight babies. Because teens are unable to understand the realities of teen pregnancy and parenting, as many as 25% of teen mothers intended to get pregnant. But, the study did say that the pregnant teens were able to name more disadvantages than advantages to being a young mother. Visit Forbes.com for more information.

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It's easy for teens to assume that they should have all privileges of an adult. And it's often hard for parents to agree to those privileges, especially when the teen may not be mature enough for the privilege. Rather than saying, "No, you can't do that. You're not old enough," discuss how they can earn that privilege. What action steps would show you that they're ready? What age would they have to be? What money would they have to earn? If they want to take the car out on their own, they might earn the privilege by driving for 20 hours under mom or dad's supervision, be at least 17, and contribute to paying the extra insurance premium. By creating specific goals to earn privileges, teenagers have concrete goals to work towardly. And they're learning an excellent life skill.

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It's difficult when teenagers are acting rude and uninterested much of the time, for parents to show teens respect. However, we learn respect by being treated respectfully. Take your teenager seriously and be interested in their ideas and opinions. Ask for your teenager's input into major family decisions. Show courtesy and respect to their friends. Support your teen if they are treated disrespectfully or unjustly at a place of business. If they're trying to change a policy, stand behind them. If they're giving a presentation, show interest in their preparation and attend the event. Even if they don't acknowledge it, being treated respectfully and fairly is important to teens. And, it shapes the adult that they are becoming.

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The San Jose Mercury News offers tips for parents struggling with the idea of picking the best adolescent substance abuse treatment program. Often parents wait until their family's life is completely chaotic before deciding that their troubled teen needs help. If you're in crisis mode, take a deep breath, and read some of the tips, such as: Asking about the success rate, length of stay, and amount of family involvement. Read more details online.

If you have a teenager struggling with substance abuse, then SunHawk Academy may be the answer to your family's problems. SunHawk Academy provides an adolescent residential treatment program in a boarding school environment. SunHawk combines individual and group therapy, accredited academics, and family development workshops. Learn more about SunHawk Academy today!

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The Washington Post recently published a question from a concerned mother about sending her 13-year-old daughter to boarding school. The response included reasons why a boarding school might be the perfect place for her adopted daughter who has ADD and mild learning disabilities. In addition, specialty boarding schools, like those just for girls or for children with ADD, will meet the emotional and academic needs of teens. Read the entire story online.

If you have a daughter with ADD or other learning disabilites then girls boarding schools like Bromley Brook in Vermont or New Leaf Academy in North Carolina or Oregon can help your daughter make the most of her future.

Mount Bachelor Academy, in collaboration with Kinship Center, is proud to offer the nation's premiere curriculum and residential program for teens coming to terms with adoption and loss. Mount Bachelor offers adoption focused group therapy, thematic workshops for processing stages of grief, and access to a nationwide network of adoption support through Kinship Center. Because Mount Bachelor's staff members are adopted themselves, they understand the issues and emotions adopted teens are experiencing. Mount Bachelor's caring staff has been trained in Adoption Clinical Training to provide individualized mentoring, family seminars, and conferences for parents and children to learn about and work through adoption and grief related issues.

Visit www.mtba.com or call Mount Bachelors Admissions team at 800.462.3404 today for more information.

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It's naive to think that teenagers will always want to turn to their parents for advice. Of course you hope they do it most of the time, but they just might need a #2 mom or dad. A #2 mom or dad might be a close friend of yours that your teen has known for years. It might be someone in your faith community. Talk with your friend about the role you hope they will have in your teenager's life. Comment to your teen that they might need a #2 mom or dad to talk to as an alternative to parents, and suggest whom you think might be helpful. This person is someone that you encourage your child to talk with. Realize that you can't restrict whom your child gets information from, but if you provide them with an appropriate alternative to talking with you, they might just take your advice.

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If your child grew up connected with a faith community, that may continue to be a strong support system during the teenage years. In some families, going to services is not an option and teenagers maintain the faith connection, even if it's under duress. But, for families where a teen's involvement may be optional, find opportunities to include your teen in regular and special events at your place of worship. Or see if they would be interested in attending worship with grandparents, godparents, or neighbors. Part of a teenager's search for self includes questions about moral issues, sharing, prayer, and a higher power. Ongoing ways to connect with faith groups can be an important aspect of an adolescent's life.

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"I love you too much to argue," is a great line for when your teenager is trying to engage you in an argument. If your teen is trying to present their viewpoint in a vehement way, that's one thing. But bickering and quarreling is not appropriate. If your adolescent is not being respectful in presenting their argument, or is arguing just to be oppositional, don't allow yourself to be engaged. Tell them you'll be glad to talk when they're being respectful. Make an "appointment" to have the discussion at a later time - and stick to it. Or, if all else fails, walk away. Learning to argue and present ideas appropriately is part of becoming an adult. Help your teenager to learn the skills to do it the right way.

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The Portsmouth Herald just published their top 10 myths about addiction and the correct answers. They include common misconceptions about addiction behaviors and treatment like "Drug addiction is a voluntary behavior" with the misconception being that users can stop whenever they choose to. The article also explains that treatment isn't always a one-shot deal and that staying clean and sober is an ongoing battle for addicts. Read more online.

If you have a teenager who is experiencing emotional problems, family issues and academic difficulties due to adolescent substance abuse, SunHawk Academy could be the answer to your needs. With their unique structure that combines residential treatment, individual and group therapy, accredited academics, and family development workshops SunHawk's comprehensive treatment program will give your troubled teen the skills and courage to lead a happy and productive life.

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While many parents are often concerned about the types of drinks their teenagers consume, caffeine is still a fairly safe one. Instead of hanging out in bars, today's kids spend their time in coffeehouses - it could be worse. In addition, coffee has recently been touted as providing several health benefits. But, parents need to make sure their kids aren't drinking too many sodas, coffees, or Red Bulls because many caffeinated products are loaded with sugar and high in calories. Read more of Tom McMahon's parenting tips from the Contra Costa Times.

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A report published on Family.org says that the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse warns of the rise of unregulated prescription drug websites. Many teens are finding it easy to order prescription drugs, even if they don't have a prescription, online and many parents need to be aware of their teenager's actions. Often the websites are run by companies located outside the US, which makes regulating them difficult. Learn more online.

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