Trans-racial adoptions, especially Caucasian families adopting African-American children, are becoming increasingly common in the United States. In an article on Examiner.com, writer Maritza Brown advised adoptive parents on ways to incorporate aspects of the child's birth culture into their family:

Since all ethnic groups maintain their own unique culture and mannerisms, it is imperative that the adopting parents not only learn their adopted child’s way of living, but they have to be willing to incorporate the child’s culture into their lives as well as appreciate and respect it. ...

The adopting parents have to venture out of their own comfort zone to meet and befriend others who look like and can identify with the adopted child. ... The child should always have access to an environment where there are people he/she can relate to and form a strong sense of self.

Needless to say that there is an added responsibility when adopting outside of one’s own race. That is why, it is imperative for the adopting parents to be prepared to embrace fully, the cultural lifestyle of the child they intend to add to their family in order to ensure the positive, well-adjusted growth of the child.

Labels: international, trans-racial, parenting

With the U.S. Air Force's "Year of the Air Force Family" barely more than a month old, one USAF family has taken the opportunity to expand through adoption. Chief Master Sgt. Sean Stevenson of Air Force News reported the story:

Col. John Marselus, the 607th Air and Space Operations Center commander, and his wife, Kim, traveled to Addis Adaba, Ethiopia, where they picked up their newest son Caleb, a 5-year-old orphan whom they had just adopted.

"The adoption process took about two years, but in reality this journey started well over two decades ago," Colonel Marselus said. Their trip to Ethiopia opened yet another opportunity; the opportunity to meet face-to-face with one of the many children they had sponsored worldwide for almost three decades. ...

After 25 years of sponsorship of multiple children, the Marselus family decided it was time to have an even greater impact on a needy child. It was at that point they decided to pursue the option of adoption.

"Sponsoring needy children ... is great, but we were convicted to see if there was a child who needed a family," Colonel Marselus said. "We strongly felt that the right thing to do was provide an orphaned little boy or girl the love and nurturing they so desperately deserve."

Labels: international

For many birth mothers, the decision to place a child for adoption is based upon the belief that this will give the child the best possible chance at a happy and successful life.

In a commentary in the Buffalo News, adoptee and current adoption intake worker Zachary Fried addressed this topic in a personal manner, highlighting the many ways in which he benefited from his birth mother's decision:

I’m an adult adoptee: my birth mom was 16 years old when I was born. I honor her and thank her for making that difficult and mature decision. In many ways, she saved both our lives, and she helped my family achieve an important dream. ...

My birth mom's selfless act gave me the opportunity to have a life that has always been special. I was the first-born child in my adoptive family's home. Adoptive and biological children followed -- and we became a nine-kid family. My siblings are diverse, funny, frustrating (whose aren't?), lovable and very much loved by our parents.

We don’t all look the same, but we're blind to the differences as much as we are meshed in our similarities. We are a family regardless of how we came together. Adoption helped build my family.

Labels: adopted children, birth-mothers

The term "open adoption" can cause considerable concern among prospective adoptive parents who fear that the process will allow their child's birth family to negatively impact -- or perhaps even someday invalidate -- their relationship with their adopted child.

However, according to a March 25 examiner.com article by Pamela Porter, an open adoption can actually lead to a more fulfilling experience for all concerned parties:

Acknowledging that their wait to become parents might be extended if they insisted on a closed adoption, [Alex and Rachel] decided to do some reading. However, the books they selected about open adoption only seemed to frighten them even more. They found their fears emotionally paralyzing and decided to put their plans for adoption on hold for a while. ...

In 2009, Alex and Rachel met their beautiful baby girl, Hope. ... Without explanation or understanding both Alex and Rachel knew in an instant that open adoption was what their families needed.

During the first few weeks as parents Alex and Rachel sent pictures and emailed Hope's birth mother almost daily. They began to realize and embrace the overwhelming significance of a birth mother's love for her child and soon found some unexpected comfort in the openness of their adoption. As a result of their communications a deep love and respect for Hope's birth family emerged.

Hope's adoption was finalized almost one year later. Alex and Rachel were elated when they finally received the legal recognition of their "forever family". Their joy multiplied exponentially 2 weeks later at Hope's first birthday party when her birth family arrived to celebrate with them.

Labels: open_adoption

The purpose of non-profit adoption agencies is to serve children and their potential adoptive families, right? According to an investigation by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the financial statements of some agencies indicate that caring for children may be secondary.

“The newspaper’s review of federal tax returns and other public documents found numerous examples where top executives’ compensation accounted for one-fourth to one-third of agencies’ budgets. In many instances, administrative costs exceeded expenses on direct services for children.”

The Journal-Constitution obtained its information by reviewing the tax returns of nearly all 336 private foster care and adoption agencies licensed to operate in Georgia. Though phone calls and emails were made, few agency executives responded to requests for comment.
 

Labels: agencies

Denis and Paula Pitman first met Emily when, at age five months, she came to live with them as a foster child. Three years later, her biological mother gave up her parental rights, and Emily was sent to live with her biological father.

"The father took her from the Pitmans'... home to northwestern Montana, but within days, he called the Pitmans because Emily was upset and wanted to come home. For three months late in 2007, the girl was passed back and forth between the families, with the Pitmans driving more than 700 miles round-trip to collect her each time her biological father asked for help."

Then Emily's biological father died of a drug overdose. There was red tape to cut through, but eventually the court approved the Pitmans as Emily's adoptive parents. Emily now calls Paula Pitman her "forever mommy." Source: Montana Standard

Labels: foster_care, parental_rights

Butler County, Ohio's adoption policy is a source of controversy because it does something that the state adoption laws don't: It gives preference to married couples.

The conflict, according to the four-page opinion signed ... by Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Roger Gates, is that the Butler County rule adds a line that would put married couples before single parents, unmarried couples, and same-sex couples in adoption cases. Even though these groups would not be excluded from adopting ... the rule does place a priority on placing children with married couples. (Source: The Cincinnati Enquirer)

The policy, which was quietly enacted by outgoing agency Director Michael Fox, was suspended in late March pending a legal review.

Labels: adoption rights, same-sex couples, single_parenting, unmarried couples, controversy

After years of being foster parents and applying to formally adopt one of their foster kids, a Dayton, Ohio, couple is having second thoughts. They recently asked Dr. Gregory Ramey if he felt it was too late – or even appropriate – for them to back out.

“It’s unclear if your expectations are unrealistic, or if your 4-year-old is truly having problem that may require professional help. I’m more concerned about your apparent lack of commitment to this little boy. If you and your husband feel you are unable to completely commit to this child, you need to have a frank discussion immediately with the child’s caseworker.” (Source: Dayton Daily)

Adoption is obviously a serious decision. And, as Dr. Ramey says to this couple, commitment to a child must be absolute – in both good times and bad. For those who are considering adoption, it’s OK to decide that it’s a commitment for which you’re not ready. But it’s also a decision that should be made long before the process is started.
 

Labels: foster care, adoptive_parents

Fort was already a teenager when he moved from Tanzania to Iowa. Though the adjustment was hard, he has managed to learn to speak English almost fluently and now looks like a typical American teen. But his life in America isn't secure.

"[Robin] Barber officially adopted Fort in Tanzania last summer and in Iowa in December, only to learn that at 17 he's too old to become a U.S. citizen as her son. And his student visa expires next month."

Barber and the rest of her family aren't sure how to resolve their situation, which is the result of what she calls "really poor advice." She has appealed to Iowa senators to write a law specific to Fort's case, but they're hesitant. Fort's biological family already approved the adoption, which Barber hopes will work in her - and her new son's - favor. Source: The Leaf Chronicle

Labels: legislation, citizenship, adoption_rights

When parenting teens or any child with emotional, behavioral, or mental health issues, parents tend to look at what needs to be fixed. "My child is unable to self regulate so maybe she needs therapy..." Or, "My teen has anger management issues and needs to work through that." Or, "Now that my son has been diagnosed as bipolar, where will we find a child psychiatrist?"

Sometimes parents, teachers, and even service providers forget that the ultimate goal is to develop socially well adjusted and emotionally stable kids. Occasionally, it's beneficial to step back from the process of improving behaviors and fixing the problems, to contemplating the hoped-for results.

What's on your list of what a well-adjusted child or teen should be like? Are they attached to parents and family? Do they have solid friendships? Do they stay in school? Will they find a job they love?

A new perspective will not change the difficulties, but it does provide an opportunity to refocus on the hopeful positive outcomes, rather than the drudgery of addressing challenging issues.

Labels: health, mental_health